A while ago I wrote that I was uncertain about whether I wanted to keep blogging. Then we came back from. Holiday and I got my mojo back a bit… But now it’s gone again and actually I feel ready to say goodbye to my blog. At least for the time being. It’s weird to turn your back on something you’ve put so much into over the years so it never say never but for now, I just can’t be doing with it in anymore to be honest.
For one thing, life is just mega busy at the moment and I have a lot on my mind. With my lovely aunt ill in London there is a lot of ups and downs. In between rounds of chemo she is doing OK but there are visits to South London to arrange as well as working out whether she will be able to go home and what help she would need if it is possible… The situation changes almost daily and it’s a lot to deal with. I have to compartmentalise day to day as I get on with life with the kids but it’s always at the back of my mind
There’s other things going on too. I still own the flat I lived in pre-hubs and desperately want to sell it but are having serious issues with the freeholder about extending the lease so we are able to. Then our tenant (who basically covered costs) has left, which isn’t terrible as she had threatened to be a sitting tenant and not leave if we ever tried to give her notice to sell the place. But the place is a mess and now needs sorting out and I just hope we can get the lease extension sorted so we can sell it rather than having to get another tenant in as my letting agent is shutting up shop.. But any months with no tenant obviously cost us money.. So that’s all pretty stressful!
Plus you know, our day to day life goes on. It was Monkey’s 5th birthday and party last week. I haven’t had the time or inclination to write about it I had a horrible bacterial throat infection last week that knocked me for 6 and I was basically throwing up and bed ridden for a few days.
If it was just these bits and bobs then I might think this was another temporary hiatus but it’s more than that this time. I’m actually pretty fed up of blogging and the blogging world at the moment. Not because anything specific has happened or changed. I’ve just grown more and more tired of it.
I’m tired of joining in with linkies where people comment because they have to…. And sometimes don’t even really read what you’ve written and just write a generic comment based on the title and maybe the first paragraph. I’m not having a go at anyone because I’ve done it too… It just all feels utterly pointless though.
I’m tired of feeling judged for my parenting choices. Let’s face it, I think it is to be expected when you are sharing so much of yourself with the world. We obviously all make different choices and even when we try not to, it’s inevitable we will judge people for making different choices than us. I kind of think you have to be prepared to have people disagree with you when you are a blogger, even when you try, as I do, to be as balanced in your posts as possible. Again I’m not criticising anyone for it… I’m just tired of it.
I’m also tired of the implicit judgement I feel when reading other people’s post. It’s the same as above and people are entitled to their opinions on things and it says more about me then them really. I’m just tired of reading how people “just couldn’t do that because it feels so wrong and cruel” when you know it is a method that worked for your family. Every parent and child are different and different things work in different situations so I just get fed up reading about how I must be cruel and awful when the person writing has no idea what led me to that point in the first place. Instead of getting upset or irritated the thing to do is just not read them anymore I know, so that is what I’m going to do.
I’m fed up of reading reviews for products and being asked to review things I have little to no interest in. Lots of products are lovely but it’s all well and good when you get them for free to say some positive words about them, but would you have actually bought it with your hard earned money? I think blogging can be a wonderful thing and I am hugely pleased for some lovely bloggers I know who are able to spend more time with their families as a result of the income they make from blogging. I’ve also been lucky to receive some fantastic products over the years and made a little money. I’m honestly not criticising anyone… But the cynic in me just doesn’t like reading posts that I know have been written in exchange for money. Daft isn’t it?
As I say, none of this is new and I’m not expecting anything to change. Blogging is wonderful for so many people… Just not for me anymore. Not at this point. I still enjoy writing and love that my blog is a record about my family and children, so occasionally I may share something for posterity as it is a hard habit to break after 5 years.. but I won’t be sharing anything or publicising at all.
Thanks to everyone who has read and supported my blog over the last 5 years, I really do appreciate it. I’m not sure what I’m doing with my Facebook page and twitter and all that jazz. I will still be on instagram as I like it so you can keep up to date on there a bit if you are interested and it would be lovely to stay in touch with anyone who wants to.