Yep, we think it is time to think about maybe trying for a second baby. We’ve always known that we would like more than one child, but have had lots of discussions over the years about exactly how many kids we would like, and how close we would like them to be in age. Hubby has always been clear that he would like 3 children (we were both middle children in families with 3 children) whereas I am a bit more unsure of whether 2 or 3 is the right number. I’ve always thought 3 children just made things a bit more complicated, holidays, car size etc… but loved being one of 3 kids too so just really unsure whether to go with heart or head.
Age wise, we initially thought 2 years apart was about the right age gap… but after a difficult first pregnancy we realised we would need Monkey to be a little older, perhaps 2 1/2 – 3 when a sibling is born, just as he needs to be a bit more self sufficient. If my next pregnancy is anything like my first, I am unlikely to be able to do anywhere near as much with him as I do now. How difficult I find the next pregnancy will also potentially decide whether we stop at 2 children or have any more, as it depends how much I am willing to put my body through.
So what made my first pregnancy so hard? Well I have been writing about it but I think it deserves a post all to itself so there will be more of that to follow!!
The other thing to think about is how hard will it be with two? Monkey is at such a lovely age now, he is a lot more independent and very much a toddler rather than a baby. We are still waiting for words but he is a lot more communicative so hopefully it won’t be too long now. So the thought of going back to baby days scares me I have to admit. I am hoping that it is a little easier second time round, as you have done it once. There should be less of the rabbit in the headlights look that you get the first time, right? There will also be Monkey there for the baby to be entertained by and me to have fun with which I am hoping will make it less lonely than the first time round?
But going back to sleepless nights, breast feeding (and the lovely changes to your body that come with it) or maybe formula feeding, possibly sleep training again, then weaning….. It was hard enough the first time round, particularly the first 3 months I found, but maybe that’s just because Monkey had colic?
Am I ready to do it all again? Well, I have realised that I am as ready as I will ever be and that’s the key thing. I am certainly more ready than I was with Monkey as at least I know what to expect next time and have some experience. But I survived it before, and came out with a gorgeous, happy healthy little boy, a marriage intact and a happy smile on my face so I am sure I can do it again as I so want Monkey to have a sibling.
It’s funny to think about our family changing, our happy little unit of 3 will hopefully become a 4. How will the next baby’s personality evolve our family dynamic. It’s quite exciting to think about actually. Hubby was looking at some pre-monkey photos today and said he can’t remember the days when it was just us two. Will we feel like that about the days before baby 2 in a few years? Only time will tell I guess!
This is of course assuming that we will be able to get pregnant easily again, when there is no telling really. It happened much faster than we thought it would last time so this time we need to be prepared for that, but also prepared for it to take some time as you never know and we don’t want to stress about it… so I guess watch this space! We will have to wait and see what 2014 brings.
How did you find the change going from one child to two? Was it harder or easier than you thought?