As of Friday the truth is out, it is now common knowledge that we are pregnant (just over 9 weeks now)! As there are bound to be a number of pregnancy related posts over the next 7 months or so I thought I should start at the beginning. If I am documenting this pregnancy I’m going to do it properly!
We always knew we wanted more than one child, and even though the reality of having a child is sometimes much harder than you ever realise before you have one, we haven’t changed our mind. Different things work for different people and of course I understand not everyone is fortunate enough to have a second (or even a first) child, but, for us, purely on a personal level, we haven’t felt our family is complete. Lovely yes, but not complete. Hubby says he feels like a couple with a baby, as opposed to a family with a couple of kids.
Initially we thought we’d like a 2 year gap between babies, but with my problems in my first pregnancy we thought a 2 1/2 to 3 year gap would be better as Monkey would be that bit older and able to do a bit more for himself should I become immobile! We started trying after Christmas and tried to be open minded about how long it may take. We fell pregnant with Monkey incredibly easy (within a month) and had to prepare ourselves that the same might not happen again. Nevertheless we were disappointed when I wasn’t pregnant immediately. I know it’s daft but on some level, even though we knew how unlikely it was, we hoped to get pregnant straight away again.
We re-evaluated and re-steeled ourselves that it may take some time. As it happened though, it didn’t and I fell pregnant the second month of trying. Bonkers and I know we are incredibly lucky! We knew before I was due on because my boobs (which grew to humongous proportions last time) started to grow. Hubby also felt a rise in my body temperature and remembered the same happening last time. But we didn’t want to be too hopeful!
We’d jumped the gun the previous month with early pregnancy tests so this time we were determined to wait until the day I was due on. At first Hubby wanted me to wait for a week after missing a period before taking the test, but I knew I couldn’t wait that long! On the morning I was due on we talked and decided to take the test. No hesitation on either side, he was as excited as me. I took the test and yep, pregnant. So excited, I ran upstairs to tell hubby. Feeling thrilled.
But soon the fear and worry set in. Hubby was being all tiggerish, bouncing around the house with a huge smile on the face, gushing about how happy he felt. I loved it and part of me was with him… but another part felt terrified. My stomach was in knots and I struggled to feel excited. I kept thinking about what may go wrong, and was scared to be excited in case it does. I don’t trust life to be kind, things go wrong all the time and I’m not someone who thinks “It’ll never happen to me” I think “It could happen to me, I’d better be prepared in case it does.”
I also felt nervous about what this means to our lives. This baby is so wanted, so loved already, we had been trying and it is the perfect timing we hoped for in terms of Monkey’s age…. but it still means a lot of changes. I hated being pregnant before and hope I don’t feel the way I felt last time. I worry how my pregnancy will affect Monkey. What if I get to the point where I can’t walk again?
Monkey’s life is going to change so much. It’s what we want, so he isn’t spoilt by the constant attention of two doting parents, but I can’t help but feel for him. He’s had us at his beck and call for his whole life, and now there will be another member of our family to think about. Another child to share things with. I know it’s a good thing but I am nervous about it.
I guess I need to worry less. Kids are resilient and if I do become more immobile I am sure he will cope. Hubby keeps reminding me that it’s only for a few months so I have to hold on to that if things do get bad! As for having to share some attention, we already try to encourage him to be independant and to share, as both are so important, so hopefully this will help prepare him for the arrival of a sibling. Plus it will be lovely to watch them grow together, to play (and fight) and talk (and argue).
I am still nervous, but I am also very excited and looking forward to this new chapter of our lives as a family!
How did you find out you were pregnant? Is your family complete with your child/ren or do you hope for more?