The financial side of being a stay at home mum – bargain hunting!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Raising kids is an expensive business. There is always something, food, clothes, shoes, toys, the list goes on. Let’s face it, life in general is expensive and I believe that no matter how much you have, you will always live with what you’ve got. When I was on my own I really didn’t earn a lot, but I managed ok. With both mine and hubby’s salaries we did save some, but we were a lot more generous with gifts, and we treated ourselves more and had more luxuries.

We are obviously in a very lucky position in that we can live just off of my husband’s salary as this means that I don’t have to work, and I can be a stay at home mum. But we are not so well off that this is always easy. We live to our means, we manage to save a bit each month in case of unforeseen expenses, such as new car tyres, MOT’s etc. but we never manage to save as much as we would like to. We could absolutely manage on less if we had to, we have a nice house so our mortgage is expensive and the cost of upkeep can be high, and if we were really that strapped downsizing would help. But we love our house and we aren’t in the situation where we would need to do that.

Nevertheless it isn’t always easy to manage off just one salary. The seasons are changing, it’s getting colder so we are having to think about what Monkey needs, a new coat, warmer clothes, a new sleepy bag (you know the gro bag type things) etc. We were lucky that we had a load of hand-me-down clothes from a friend over the summer, which saved us loads of money! But shorts and t-shirts are not what he needs right now so it’s time to go bargain hunting.

I am a bit tight when it comes to his clothes. There are so many cute clothes that I just love, but I really find it hard to justify spending a lot of money on clothes that are only going to get a few months wear out of them. With a few outfit changes a day due to dribbles, spillages and just generally having fun with dirt, water and anything else he can get his hands on, we need a selection of clothes. So its time to hunt out some bargains! I personally like clothes from supermarkets. They are cheap and generally can be tumble dried – especially useful in the cold weather. I bought a 3 pack of long sleeve tops for £5 from Tesco yesterday, bargain! Some places, which are only middle range, can charge £10-11 for one long sleeved top so that really is good value.

Sales are also good as then you get the cute and good quality clothes for much cheaper. My neighbour just told me about Pumpkin Patch’s latest offer (ends today I think) where you get a further 30% off sale prices and free delivery! Hello! There wasn’t a lot left in Monkey’s size but I did manage to get a lovely fleece for £6.30 with free delivery! Can’t be bad eh? I passed the info on to another friend and I think she has got the same fleece for her little one so they will be matching hehe 🙂

I’m also spending a lot of time on ebay, especially for toys. As he is getting bigger he does need some different toys to help him use his imagination etc, but we can’t afford to spend a fortune on toys all the time. Second hand toys though are bargainous! A couple of weeks ago I managed to get a push along car (you know the type they sit in and can move along with their feet, or you can push with the parent handle) for £4.70! And yesterday I bought a Fisher Price Little People Garage (he is really interested in playing with cars at the moment) for just £5. Both were local collection only so no postage and so what if stickers are missing or it isn’t pristine, it saves you so much money when you add it all up and Monkey is just as happy either way.

With Christmas coming up I am sure that I am going to be looking out for lots of bargains and offers and have started trying to get in early with some things. Anyone else have any tips for bargain hunting?

It’s our Anniversary! Here’s our whirlwind story…

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I wrote this post for our anniversary last July, so nearly a year ago, but I thought it was perfect for The Theme Game this week with the theme of ‘Love.’

It’s our anniversary weekend this weekend and I am feeling a bit soppy and sentimental so I thought that I would share the story of how hubby and I got together. I think there are some people who thought we were crazy, and definitely some who didn’t think we’d make it this far, but we are so happy. We have been together 3 years and a LOT has happened in those 3 years!!

Hubby and I grew up in the same area, just a few streets way from each other. He was in my older brother’s class at primary school (a couple of years above me), and though they were never close friends they knew each other. Our mums knew each other from the playground too and got on well, but again weren’t close. We all grew up and went to different secondary schools and there the connection stopped, although our mums had crossed paths a few times over the years.

Fast forward to 2010, and my mum is working in a craft shop, where she meets a lady (J) who comes in to the shop regularly. One day J brings in her mother in law, who my mum immediately recognised from the playground. Turns out J is married to hubby’s older brother. Anyway the mums start chatting and I think hubby’s mum asked my mum if she had any grandchildren. Mum laughed and said no, talked about my brothers and then repeated a recent quote from me where I had declared myself terminally single! (Embarrassing, thanks Mum! :p) Hubby’s mum said hmmm I know someone a bit like that. So between the 3 of them a plan was hatched to set us up on a blind date.

My mum was a bit wary, she’d tried to set me up on a blind date before and I’d said no. This time however, after a recent short and disastrous relationship, I was game. I think my words were, “Well he can’t be any worse than the ones I choose for myself, and if he’s awful I never have to see him again!” Hubby had slightly less choice in the matter, he got a text saying he was going on a date, and was given my number. We text a few times and arranged to meet for a drink.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, the date went pretty well, so we went out again 2 days later, and then again shortly after that. Pretty soon we were very much in each others pockets and fell in love really fast, scarily fast some might say! I won’t go into too many details but we realised pretty quickly that we very much wanted the same things out of life in terms of marriage and children. After 4 weeks together we realised that I hadn’t been home to my flat for about a week and actually neither of us wanted me to go home, so I basically moved in with him at that point.

Now after a previous failed engagement many moons ago I had lots of rules about our future and was adamant that I would never get engaged to someone until I had lived with them. As it worked out, we lived together for a week before we got engaged. Yep, 5 weeks after we met we were engaged. I think people thought we were nuts, and he hadn’t even met one of my brothers, and vice versa. If it was someone else, I would have thought they were nuts! But I guess it’s true that when you know, you really know!

This all happened in September 2010, we met on 8.9.10 in fact!

On the 16th July 2011, we got married and it was the most amazing day ever. It wasn’t the most traditional of weddings, we had no wedding breakfast or speeches, just a BBQ, but it was the most beautiful day and so perfect for us. It was the best day of our lives (so far!).

Not too long after we were married we thought we were about ready to think about the next stage, a baby! But, you never know how things are going to work out or how long it might take so we kept an open mind. I came off the pill and pretty much got pregnant that month. We thought it would take at least a few months and from friends’ experiences that it could be up to a year easily, so we were definitely taken by surprise! We were very lucky that it happened so easily and it was obviously meant to be.

I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy as I had morning sickness which basically lasted all day every day until I eventually had to stop work early, because I couldn’t cope with the exhaustion. As I started to feel better, we also discovered that the pains I had in my pelvis were SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) and by the end of my pregnancy I could barely walk and had crutches (could’ve been worse I know some women end up in a wheelchair). Monkey was breech and couldn’t be turned (we found out later that I have a bicornuate uterus, so it is basically heart shaped and he was stuck in one side) so I had a caesarean on 21st May 2012.

Hubby was amazing throughout my pregnancy and is the loveliest hubby and daddy to Monkey that I could ask for.

I never would have imagined, going into that blind date, just how much my life could change, and how fast! Our mums are understandably proud of themselves and now share their first grandchild.

So there we have it, a suitably soppy post for our anniversary, back to normal next time 🙂

Feeling refreshed after a lovely weekend, and renewed domestic efforts!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

This weekend we went away to visit some friends of ours in Newcastle. After the disastrous visit that was bank holiday weekend we were slightly apprehensive. We knew that it was really because Monkey was so poorly that we struggled last week, but still I was definitely a little on edge as the weekend drew near.

Really though, it was unfounded. He coped reeeeally well with the journey. 3 hours is a long time for little man, though we had a good long stop after about 2 hours. By the end of the journey he was definitely ready to get out of the car but he did so well. He was so happy in their house and took to them all really well considering he was only a few weeks old the last time that we saw them! We went to the beach, played in the sand and generally had loads of fun together.

He slept really well, both at naptime and at night and was just a very happy monkey. We had spoken beforehand so all he could have all his favourite foods (baked beans, fish fingers, peanut butter on toast etc.) to avoid added stress at mealtimes. We really couldn’t have asked for him to be any better! Our friends have a gorgeous little one too who is nearly 7 months old and such a cutie. After months of colic and reflux issues they are all doing really well and starting to get into a good routine and good night-time sleep. So with both babies in bed us adults got to have a lovely dinner with wine and good catch up, with lots of sharing of experiences with the babas!

I’m not sure what it was, but the whole weekend was just so so lovely and so relaxed that it felt like a mini holiday. Both hubby and I had been feeling a bit run down after the bank holiday weekend. With Monkey and hubby both having colds, and a busy week we were both just a bit of low. The house was a tip as well as Monkey hadn’t been sleeping much and because I was low and tired I got lazy and the housework definitely suffered. It’s amazing how a lovely relaxed weekend with good company and a happy Monkey just turned that all around. It felt like we had had a whole week off it was so restorative!

What was great though, was that when we got home on Sunday evening, after dinner together, and once Monkey was bathed and bedded we both felt we had the energy to do some cleaning! I would never have predicted it but we spent a good hour thoroughly cleaning the lounge, kitchen, dining room and kitchen and both felt so much better to be able to relax in a toy and crumb free house!

We have agreed that from now on, once Monkey is in bed at 7.15 we will have a half hour spruce of the house to keep on top of things, rather than just sitting down to watch the TV immediately. I really hope that we can make it last as the house is looking really nice!

I’ve also revisited my white board of jobs. I mentioned this a while ago and it has been working some of the time. But what I have decided to do now is break the jobs down into days. I am now allocating myself 1 or 2 jobs to do per day to spread the housework out across the week. I’m not the most motivated housewife, and the housewife side of being a stay at home mum is probably one of the elements that I have struggled the most with, so we shall see if this helps! So far this week I have cleaned the kitchen floor, done the dusting (for the first time in ages I have to admit) cleaned the shower-room and done next weeks meal plan and food shop online. Going well so far!

A very poorly and grumpy bank holiday but improvements at mealtimes!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

This weekend we went to stay with my aunt in South London for a couple of days, but, well, it didn’t go quite as well as we hoped! Monkey came down with a cold the day or so before, but it didn’t seem bad enough to cancel any plans. Saturday morning we got ready to head off, although hubby had been kept awake all night by thunderstorms and was in a foul mood 🙁 so it was pretty much left to me to get everything ready to go. In some ways I like this, because at least I know what has been packed, but on other ways I hate that all the responsibility for remembering things falls on me.

Monkey was very whiny bless him, even with baby paracetamol and baby ibuprofen he clearly wasn’t feeling well. It was also pouring with rain. So you can imagine the scene, me running around like crazy trying to make sure we have everything we need, Monkey whining and crying and daddy stomping around while the rain is getting heavier and heavier outside. We get an unhappy monkey in the car and I asked hubby to put the nursery rhyme cd in the car stereo. Unfortunately as we got his car on the cheap, the front of the car stereo is loose and comes off. Instead of putting it back on to put the cd in, hubby slid it into the slot where he thought the cd goes, but actually put it in the wrong place. Grrrr

So as we set off I am digging around in the workings of the stereo trying to prise the cd out while monkey is wailing. We had to resort to the postman pat dvd, which we were hoping to save until a lot later in the journey, as once it is on, that is all monkey wants! I did manage to get the CD out but by then he was happy watching postman pat and our nerves were very frayed so we left it. We did try a couple of times on the journey to put the cd on but the wailing just started again so we gave up and went back to postman pat!

We made it to South London (a good 2 hour journey) through the rain with the help of postman pat and flapjacks and Monkey was actually in quite good spirits when we arrived. The good spirits didn’t last too long though and even though it was raining out we figured Monkey could do with some fresh air and a run around before lunch, after all he had been sat in the car for a long time. Being out actually went pretty well at first and he was so happy…. until he wasn’t. We don’t actually know what triggered it but he got really unhappy all of a sudden and it was coming up to lunch time so headed back to the house sharpish.

Unfortunately though when we were there he just got more and more unhappy. You know the kind of irrational unhappy they get when they are poorly or tired and the slightest thing is like their world is ending. That’s how it started and nothing (yup, not even Postman Pat) could calm him down, so he got so worked up that he was eventually sick all over daddy :(. He wouldn’t eat his lunch and he certainly wouldn’t cheer up or go to sleep in the travel cot.

All we can think is that he was feeling rough and didn’t know where he was. You know when you’re poorly and you just want to be at home in bed. I think that was it because if we put him down he would keep pulling us to the front door and banging on it and wailing 🙁 poor thing. I was so convinced we should take him home but hubby didn’t want to put him the car while he was that unhappy. Eventually after some singing and rocking daddy got him off to sleep on his shoulder and about an hour later we managed to manoeuvre him off of daddy and onto the middle of the bed where he slept for a good long while.

When he woke up it was like he was his old self again and was so happy, he had so much fun playing with his Great Auntie and mummy and daddy. It was a really lovely afternoon and I was very glad that we had stayed after all. He went to bed and to sleep with no fuss (Much better than we expected!) and slept all through the night, meaning hubby and I could have a lovely relaxed evening of eating and drinking with my aunt. Very lovely indeed.

The next morning he was perfectly happy for a while and then after breakfast things started to go down hill again. Unfortunately the weather was still awful too so it wasn’t even like we could take him out anywhere. Eventually we made the decision to come home a few hours early and he was pretty good for the most part. Unfortunately though we could not use the DVD player in the car on the way home. I couldn’t find the plug to charge it but thought we would be ok with the in car charger…. except apparently the socket in hubby’s car doesn’t work properly as after the journey there the DVD player died! Honestly, just so many things went wrong this weekend!

The upshot is, that because we didn’t have a DVD player in the house (my aunt doesn’t own a TV) we had to break Monkey’s TV at mealtimes habit. We wanted to do it anyway but to be honest weren’t looking forward to the fuss and effort we thought would be involved. I think he was actually ready for is though, because after a little bit of fuss at each meal he then seems to settle down and eat his food. It’s still going really well so far, ok I know it’s only Tuesday, so I hope it continues.

The main thing has been for me not to get stressed out by the situation. Before, he would kick off and not eat and I would get so stressed and I was starting to try and force feed him, which let’s face it, isn’t great! Now we just sit with him and eat our food (which is nearly always the same meal) and talk calmly and eventually he calms down and eats something. We get to the peak stress point, where I would normally go and put the TV on, and just take a deep breath and get past it calmly. I know it sounds easy, and it’s not always, it is a struggle sometimes, but I have to just take a deep breath and try and stay calm, as me getting worked up or angry really does just make things worse.

He’s still pretty fussy about what he eats – and just won’t touch pasta, whether its got a nice sauce on, is plain or anything. Hopefully that’s just a phase though! At the end of the day he is still doing really well and eating healthy food so I need to stop obsessing and stressing about it.

He’s feeling a lot better now too, though he is dribbling like crazy so maybe there is more teeth coming through, who knows. All I know is that when he’s happy, I am happy 🙂

Snoring through a wedding ceremony!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

It was my big brother’s wedding on Saturday! It was a lovely lovely day, they were really lucky with the weather and it was all fantastic. The bride looked stunning! We had some concerns before the wedding as the ceremony was due to start at 2pm, right at nap time! We debated doing a few different things, including trying to get him to sleep in the morning, or just going with it, hoping he slept during the ceremony and seeing how we got on. After quite a bit of discussion, we decided to do the latter, and it went really well.

Daddy kept him busy all morning, which gave me the time to go to the hairdressers and to do my make up and generally make a bit more of an effort with my appearance than I get time to do (or have the energy to do) on a normal day. It was really nice being able to spend a bit of time pampering myself! We then headed off to the venue a bit early, to catch up with my family, and to tire monkey out a bit and to ensure he would sleep in the ceremony. There was a lot of stones to play with and, well, Monkey is always happy when there are stones to play with! He found that the holes in the fancy garden furniture were great to push them through so he had lots of fun with that.

The time came for the ceremony and the plan was that I would go up to the front with my family, while hubby would sit at the back with Monkey wither asleep in his buggy or on daddy’s shoulder. What we hadn’t anticipated was the string quartet at the back of the wrong. They were fantastic but not really conducive to getting him to sleep. Trying to get him to sleep in his buggy definitely failed so daddy had him on his shoulder but I could hear him crying from the front. I went back to offer some help/support but of course Monkey saw me and wanted mummy cuddles. Daddy got very cross with me for intervening but when we went back to the front and sat down Monkey soon zonked out on my shoulder.

He then snored throughout the ceremony! I’d been so worried about him potentially wailing through the ceremony that I didn’t think about him snoring! It was very cute, and apparently the bride and groom didn’t hear him, but there was a lot of giggling going on from the people around us! Better than him screaming I suppose.

We were also concerned that he wouldn’t sleep for very long. He can sleep from an hour and a half to 3 hours most days for his afternoon nap, and we knew he wouldn’t get that much and thought he may be pretty cranky for the rest of the day. He woke up after the ceremony and then daddy took him for a walk in the grounds but he didn’t want to sleep anymore. Our fears were unfounded though and he was a very happy little monkey for the whole day. We basically just kept feeding him as we decided hey, it’s only one day! and, well, it worked pretty well for us.

My new sister in law was really thoughtful and got him a lovely present for him to play with at the dinner table, which went down a storm! A friend’s little girl was also at our table and the two of them got on really well. We were also sat next to the doors of the conservatory, so we could easily take him outside for a run and play during the meal and speeches, which was really needed.

Hubby had care of him during the speeches so I could stay and hear them, and it was at this point that Monkey did a poo poo and needed a nappy change. Bless hubby, there wasn’t really anywhere to go so he did it outside and there was this moment during the best man’s speech where I turned around and saw the Monkey running around with no nappy on! Eek! I turned to my new sister in law and our eyes met, she had seen the same thing! I just had to mouth ‘sorry’ but she saw the funny side thankfully, and I don’t think many other people saw because of the angle! It will be something funny to tell him when he’s 18 anyway!

After the meal and speeches it was time for Monkey to say goodbye, so hubby took him home and put him to bed where grandma and granddad then looked after him. We had a really lovely time in the evening, dancing and having fun with my family and just generally feeling like a couple again rather than mummy and daddy! At other weddings we have been to we have stayed over so Monkey would have somewhere there to sleep, but it always meant that one of us was in the hotel room with him, and the other was on their own. Thankfully this wedding was nice and close so we could enjoy the day together as a family, then take monkey home and have the evening together as a couple.

Post holiday blues and being thankful for other mummy friends!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Coming home from holiday was like coming back to Earth with a bump. With a mountain of laundry to do, reorganising our house after the decorators had been and generally getting back to the routines of day to day life it all had me feeling a bit gloomy. Let’s face it, not matter what job you do, coming back after a break is often not the most exciting prospect, and I guess being a stay at home mum isn’t that different. I’m not even sure how to put it into words other than that I was feeling glum.

But one thing I have learnt as a stay at home mum is that life must go on, even if you are feeling low. The jobs around the house still need doing (though at least they can be delayed) but most importantly your little one still needs entertaining and to be cared for. What’s the phrase, no rest for the wicked? No rest for the mummy more like 🙂 So I plodded my way through the week, doing what I could do plaster a smile on my face. I resumed the morning walks with my lovely neighbour, and that definitely helped. I really find that when I am feeling down, getting out of the house is more important than ever. We all know the feeling of wanting to just curl up at home, but with a little one that isn’t really an option and in my opinion, isn’t very fair on the monkey, and actually never makes me feel any better.

So when a couple of my other mummy friends suggested taking the kiddies to a local farm and play centre on Friday I ignored my initial reservations and jumped at the chance. Friday came and it was the gloomiest morning of all but I sucked it up and went anyway because I knew I would enjoy it when I was there. And you know what, I really did. I was so glad I went and was able to catch up with my friends. Monkey is still afraid of sheep unfortunately and so we had a very clingy start to the visit, but once we moved into play areas (and after he had some food) he loved it too.

We came home after a few hours and Monkey had a lovely long nap, and after a gloomy few days I felt much happier and much more like myself again. Just being able to chat with my friends really helped and honestly I think it does us all good. Talking to other mummy friends just reminds you that you are not alone and that we all have good days and less good days. We empathise, commiserate and laugh with each other and feel much more refreshed afterwards. I think it helps that we also tire the kiddies out to the point where they have a lovely long sleep when we get home :).

So yes, thank goodness for my other mummy friends 🙂

A very lovely family holiday

Posted by Caroline Elliott

The Theme for The Theme Game this week is Holiday. I planned on writing a new post but didn’t get much further than writing “I really need a holiday.” So as a one line post would be a bit dull, here is a look back to our holiday last year and the post I wrote on our return, with some pictures of sunny days to get us through the dreary end of February 🙂

So we are back from our week in the sun and we really had an amazingly lovely time as a family. The hotel we stayed at was great and very family oriented, so there was lots of shade around the pool area, a fantastic kiddy play area and lovely little kids pool. Before we left I wrote a post about the planning and preparations for our holiday, and I have to admit even I thought I was taking the planning and prep a bit far. I spent so much time thinking about every eventuality and it felt like I was taking everything bar the kitchen sink! But honestly in hindsight I wouldn’t do it differently. I really think all my planning helped us to have a really relaxed week.

The view from our balcony

The journey out – the worst bit of the week

If anything, this was the most stressful part of the holiday. As our flight was very early on Tuesday morning we booked a hotel at the airport for the Monday night. So on Monday afternoon, at Monkey’s naptime we headed out. We thought this would be perfect timing as he would sleep on the way to the hotel. We left the house and immediately an engine warning light pops up on my car. We pull over a couple of mins down the road, and by this time Monkey has already zonked in the back bless him! Get the car book out and it says to turn the engine on and off a few times and it should go away unless there is a serious problem. Do this and nope still there. By now we are panicking slightly as we have only just bought hubby’s car and so not done any real drives in it, and haven’t bought any kind of breakdown cover for it, we only have this for my car. One last try and the light goes out, thank goodness for that, we are on our way! Unfortunately monkey didn’t sleep the whole way as we hoped but with the help of a music cd in the car he managed without too much screaming.

After a slightly stressful and exhausting trip from the holiday parking to the hotel, via a bus and a longer than expected walk up a hill, across a couple of busy roads and then down a very steep slope, (with a buggy, two suitcases, a hand luggage case on wheels and 2 other big bags) we got to the hotel and was all fine. After only a little bit of protesting Monkey slept fine over night and the trip to the airport in the morning wasn’t too bad either (at least we knew what the walk to the bus stop had in store for us by now!) Monkey was good as gold at the airport, we had breakfast and checked in and we were fine until boarding. We got on the plane and got out some bits to keep monkey entertained – the stickers worked a treat!

The problem was that there was a slight mix up with someone’s ticket and two people with the same surname ended up being allocated the same seats and for some reason involving checking the amount of luggage on board the plane, we had to sit in the plane, on the tarmac for an hour before taking off. We used up our best entertainment material during this time so when we eventually took off, Monkey was thoroughly bored of being sat and restrained on mummy’s lap! Once we were up in the air we resorted to the trusty portable DVD player and monkey very much enjoyed watching Postman Pat, until it was nearly time to land and he unexpectedly dozed off in my lap for landing. Not what we thought would happen but it did work well and helped us for the rest of the journey. After a bit of a wait we got the bus to the resort and started to get used to our surroundings.

Because of his impromptu nap in the morning, and the new surroundings, Monkey didn’t sleep in the afternoon at all and this led to a slightly stressful afternoon with an unhappy monkey and rather fraught parents! Not the best start to our holiday but we tried to make the best of it. Tea time was particularly difficult, not helped by a really grumpy woman at the next table who kept staring, shaking her head, tutting and generally judging us throughout the meal! Not what I needed and I was pretty unhappy after that. We got ourselves some wine and nibbles and decided to let monkey have a slightly early night and settle ourselves down for a night on the balcony. We were lucky to get a lovely view over the bar and pool area so even though we were on the balcony the whole time, we felt like we were still part of the atmosphere.

The rest of the week – fun times and friendly people

There was obviously ups and downs throughout the week, as there is at home, but for the most part we had a really lovely time. Most of the people we came into contact with were really lovely and very friendly. We got very friendly with a few other families who all had little ones ranging from 10-12 months which was really lovely. Nice to have people to empathise with the difficult bits and enjoy the good bits of the first family holiday, all from a similar perspective. Monkey loved the play area and he really enjoyed the pool which we were quite surprised about. Considering how clingy he has been when we have been swimming at home, he was brilliant in the pool there. It may be something to do with the depth as he could stand in it, or potentially seeing other kids enjoying it, but whatever it was he loved it. From day one he was itching to get in there and even though it was pretty freezing (before the sun had a chance to heat it up) he was loving being in there, walking around, being whizzed around by daddy, kicking his little legs, and being splashed up and down. It was brilliant fun for all of us.

Our first trip to the beach was less successful, mainly because monkey had a cold. We thought he wasn’t quite himself, but it’s always difficult to know whether to abandon plans or give it a go. We decided to give it a go, and he was fairly happy initially, but he doesn’t really like the sun in his eyes (not that we can get him to wear a hat or sunglasses for more than 30s, which would help!) and then gradually he just got really unhappy. He eventually fell asleep in his buggy, in the morning, which he Never does. He still kept his afternoon nap too which is very unusual if he has had a brief snooze in the morning, so he obviously needed it! Our next trip to the beach was much more successful, even though this was to the beach nearest hotel which is a 10 min walk down a load of steps and steep hills. Carrying him back up the steps and hills was exhausting but it was worth it as we had a lovely morning at the beach and he really enjoyed making sandcastles and paddling in the sea 🙂

After a couple of days eating and sleeping settled down as well, mealtimes were still a bit iffy at times, but that’s just how mealtimes are for us at the moment I think, as I have posted before! Bath time and bedtime were lovely though and he settled really easily so hubby and I could enjoy some downtime on the balcony with cocktails/sangria/wine. Just lovely really. We also took it in turns to be upstairs with him during naptimes in the afternoons so we could each enjoy the pool and hubby even had a massage by the pool one afternoon! Very nice to leave behind all the jobs and chores for a week and really have a good relax 🙂

The journey home – not the best end

Our lovely week drew to an end – far too quickly – and we packed up and headed home. All not too bad really, although Monkey fell over at the airport and got a massive cut on his lip, poor thing, just landed badly but shook him up a bit. Then there was some weird problem with air traffic control in the UK which meant our flight wasn’t allowed to leave and was delayed by over an hour. Not great when it is around naptime and Monkey is getting cranky. Then we got on the plane and ended up sat on the tarmac for ages again, honestly never known anything like it! Monkey fell asleep as we took off though and slept most of the way home. Unfortunately all of these delays meant we hit the M1 at rush hour (fun) and then there was an accident on the A1 and we sat in a queue of traffic for an hour and a half until it was cleared. Aaaargh! I just want to get home!! Again though, thank goodness for the DVD player and postman pat, definitely helped, although it was now way past monkey’s bedtime by the time we got home. So not the best ending to what was a fantastic week, but certainly didn’t ruin it, and we have lots of lovely memories of Monkey’s first holiday 🙂

Holiday preparation with a tiny toddler

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I decided before Monkey was born that when he was 1 we would go on holiday. Mainly because I was craving some sun, sea and some relaxation. Also because I thought that I we didn’t just do it one day, that we never would. I have travelled a lot and been to some amazing places, whereas hubby hasn’t really been anywhere. He went to Singapore as a 2 year old to visit relatives (his grandma was from Malaysia) and to Florida once with friends. That was it until we went to Italy for our honeymoon. So for hubby a sun, sea, lazing by the pool holiday in the Mediterranean is completely new to him. I was lucky as a child and we went to Menorca, France, Portugal etc. most years.

Even though I have travelled a lot (I visited 19 countries in one year of backpacking) I have certainly never had to worry about packing for little one year old. But now he is my priority at all times and so I have spent a loooot of time thinking about this trip and planning every aspect. Have I mentioned before that I am a planner?? Maybe once or twice hehe. We are going for the easiest holiday ever, to an inclusive hotel in a quiet area of Majorca. Not too long a flight, no cooking required, easy peasy hopefully and fingers crossed daddy and I will get to relax a bit while we are there!

My biggest worry for the trip is the journey, particularly, the plane journey! We have all been on a plane with a baby/toddler who screams or kicks off for the entire journey. Likewise I have seen babies/toddlers quite happy on planes, so I know it is possible! I would like to attempt to make Monkey as happy as is humanly possible in a confined space, sat on mummy’s knee for a couple of hours. When you have a little one who is constantly on the go and into everything I am not sure how easy this will realistically be, but, I am determined to try!

I got some advice from my friend who has taken her little ones to visit Poland since they were small on the best ways to entertain them in flight. We have also thought a lot about the times Monkey has been sat still for longest, what he has been doing at this point and what can we do to replicate it! Here our ideas for entertaining monkey during the flight:

A sticker book – he gets quite fascinated by them at the moment!

A magic colouring book – my friend’s recommendation, where you have a little pen filled with water, colouring but no mess. Monkey isn’t that coordinating with colouring, or that interested so we’ll see how this goes!

Stacking star pots – although this may end up flying all over the plane so again, we shall see hehe

Food – I have bought allsorts of little snacks he loves, raisins and crispy things so hopefully they will help. I have also heard that you should try and get them to eat/drink during take-off and landing to help with the ear pressure.

Blanket & comforter – to get him to snuggle a little though very much not a tired time of day that we are flying out.

Portable DVD player – for when all else fails, with a couple of his favourite baby Jake or postman pat DVDs. Not ideal and there’s no way he will keep headphones on but I think I’d rather wind other passengers up with a bit of TV than have him really unhappy! We found a really cheap one on ebay for car journeys but figured we will take it with us too.

Spare clothes – not really for entertaining any of us but in case of accidents we all have a spare change of clothes going in the hand luggage. We also have some essentials in the hand luggage as hubby is a bit paranoid about our luggage being lost, which, let’s face it, does happen, so better to be safe than sorry.

That’s the plan for the plane journey and I guess we will just see how it goes and what will be will be. Hopefully it won’t be too stressful for all of us!

As for when we are there, we are taking a number of his absolute favourite toys, favourite bath toys, books, and anything else that will hopefully give him some comfort while we are away. We are taking a bunch of nappies etc. but I’m sure we will be able to get more there if necessary. We have portable black out blinds to put up on the window/door to the balcony as he always sleeps in the dark at home.

I planned lots and lots and then realised I had made one humungous mistake. As we have an early morning flight out we decided to book a hotel and parking at the airport so that the all the stressful stuff can be done the day before and we can get to the airport nice and relaxed in the morning (well, we hope so anyway!). My big mistake? I only went and booked said hotel at the wrong blimming airport! Honestly! Thank goodness I realised a few days ago. Can you imagine getting to the airport with no hotel or parking booked, bad enough for costs and stress etc. but even worse would be arriving at the wrong airport, parking the car, staying overnight, then the morning you are supposed to fly out, realising that you are at the wrong airport, and therefore not going anywhere! Yipes!

So yes, very very silly mummy but thank god I realised when I did, and, full credit to Holiday Extras, they were massively helpful and because we rebooked with them (at the correct airport) they didn’t charge any cancellation fee for the cancelled booking, and applied a discount code I had on the previous booking, on to the new booking. So all is well that ends well, but I am checking everything about a million times now, to make sure I haven’t made any more stupid mistakes!

We’ve been really busy with all of this planning and prep, but also because we have decided to have the decorators in while we are away. Our bedroom ceiling and walls need replastering where we ripped out an old fitted wardrobe and the whole room needs redecorating. We just haven’t got round to it, a) because of the cost and b) the mess and c) the energy it would take to do it ourselves.

We suddenly realised we could get round all of these problems. Hubby has moved office recently is now close enough to walk/cycle to work every day. This has meant that his expensive, sporty, boys toy of a car he got when we first met was just sitting on the drive as my car is the family car we use most of the time. So this month we sold his car and downgraded to a much cheaper run around of a second car, more suited to how much we will actually be able to use it. Hey presto we have a bit of unexpected spare cash to pay for someone to do it for us, thus eliminating problems a and c. Also, by doing it while we are away we should hopefully avoid problem b to some extent. At least to the extent that monkey won’t get near any of it.

So in addition to packing for the holiday I have been clearing out our bedroom, and making space in other rooms for the furniture to go in! Today the family came round and helped actually move the furniture and now we are all ready for it to happen while we are away. Both guys worked with us before when he had other work done so at least we know them, and as our in laws are only round the corner they are going to pop in to see how they are getting on, and also to try and keep on top of the dust situation. We really are lucky to have such lovely family willing to help us out!

It’s been a busy lead up but hopefully we will have a lovely relaxing week away and will come back to a nicely decorated bedroom 🙂 See you all on the other side!

A very trying day…

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Urgh, today has not been the best day in my ‘stay at home mum’ journey so far. On the whole I have been enjoying being a stay at home mum, the monkey is very fun and I’ve been keeping us both busy and happy, but today is a real low point.

It started at about 630 this morning, pretty normal wake up time, but instead of a happy chattering monkey he woke up crying for some reason and took a little while to cheer up. After that he was ok, but as his Granny would call it, he has been very eggshelly (fragile) all day and the slightest thing has made him upset. I think I’ve done well most of the day and been understanding that he’s having an off day. We all have them after all!

We had his 7-12 month developmental check this morning too, and although it went well, you can’t help feeling a bit judged being cross examined on what he’s doing, how much he’s eating, what he’s eating etc. I don’t think monkey enjoyed it either, being stripped off and weighed, measured and looked at, then being watched by a stranger while he played. Not today anyway, other days he may have taken it in his stride, but this morning he was pretty grumbly. He was also really tired most of the morning which didn’t help!

We got through lunch, which wasn’t exactly fun, then he had quite a long nap though it was a bit restless sadly, and he woke up happy. Great, I thought, maybe he was just tired? But the afternoon hasn’t gone that well either, reaching a low point at teatime.

Unfortunately after a day of being understanding and coping with the random upsets and crying I am shattered. Going over everything the nursery nurse said this morning hasn’t helped, worrying and feeling guilty over the slightest thing she said, about what cup he drinks from and how we serve his food and just, well, little bits and bobs that just generally leave you feeling like you’ve been scored and given a ‘could do better’ grade in the subject of motherhood.

I thought teatime would go well as he loves the meatballs I make and his steamed potato and peas…. but apparently not today. Today he is spitting everything out, not wanting to know then crying and gagging so he throws up the little bit that he has actually eaten (and he had seemed to enjoy the odd few bites).

At this my façade cracks and I lose my cool. I tell him off and throw the cup he is playing with, rather than drinking from, on the floor. Yeah, I know, who’s the parent here? Throwing things in a tantrum isn’t exactly the best example to set, but how else do you vent frustration to a 10 month old baby who can’t tell you why he suddenly doesn’t want to eat the food that he has liked every other time before? The food that you have spent ages in the kitchen preparing while he sleeps?

I try to tell him he needs to eat his food or he won’t get anything else, that’s all there is, but then I’m feeling awful because I know he’s hungry, he needs to eat. And if he doesn’t eat his tea then surely he won’t sleep well tonight and that isn’t good for any of us. How do you teach them to eat what is in front of them while still making sure they go to bed full? Is he too young to be worrying about that? Should I just give in?

I realise I have to walk away and take a breather so because I don’t know what to do I give him two of the oat and apricot biscuits (that I made at the weekend but usually try to ration so he doesn’t just eat biscuits all the time), dump them on his tray with some raisins and walk out of the room. I sat on the stairs, text my husband because I needed to vent (lucky hubby coming home to such a happy home!!) and had a little cry. I then go back in, check and yep sure enough he is eating the biscuits and raisins, so not off his food completely. I turn the TV on and walk out again because I can’t be all smiley and serene yet.

Thankfully, hubby is now home to help for the evening and there’s only an hour or so to go before bed.

I know it’s not his fault, maybe his teeth are coming through and hurting, maybe he’s just feeling under the weather. Poor little thing can’t exactly tell me what is the matter. But honestly, days like this are not fun. Days like this are not easy. Days like this make you feel like a really bad mother.

Thank goodness not all days are like this! Tomorrow will be a better day… at least I really hope so!

Naps..when 2 becomes 1

Posted by Caroline Elliott

We knew this day would come, though we weren’t sure when, and here it is, Monkey has dropped his morning nap and we are down to one a day. New routine time! As with everything in parenting, there are many different opinions about routines for babies. From what makes a good routine to whether to have a routine at all. I found early on that routines make both monkey and I happier. I am a planner and like to know what is in store for me. I like to be able to tell someone I will see them at a specific time and know that 9 times out of ten I will be able to stick to it. (Of course babies are people and have off days so I don’t think any routine can be 100% perfect!) He is always happier when he has eaten well and slept well.

I struggled with a lack of routine in the beginning and had no idea how to get in to a routine at all. This coincided with lots of problems with monkey’s sleeping, mainly during the day with between 3 and 5 naps a day. We ended up for a while where he would only fall asleep if he was sucking on one of our little fingers, and well as you can imagine, we couldn’t maintain that forever! When he was born we were initially 100% against the Dr Ferber progressive wait or “Cry it out” techniques but by about 3 1/2 months (after he had finally outgrown the colic) we had changed our mind and though it was horribly hard, it really worked for all of us in just a few days. It really was this that settled monkey to his routine of morning nap, afternoon nap, and bedtime at around 7.

So we have had a fairly solid routine for a good 6 or 7 months now really. I had the feeling that we were approaching a nap change as he had started waking up a lot earlier in the mornings and his naps were both a lot shorter. I was reading articles and books to see if there was any way I could help or make the change or to find out if it would happen naturally. Then one day last week, boom! No morning nap. This sounds simpler than it was as obviously being so used to the routine I went to put him down for his nap but he was chatting and giggling away, so I thought, ok, maybe you want a slightly later nap today and got him up. Eventually after a couple more tries and when he got a bit unhappier about being put in his cot, I gave up and gave him his normal post-nap feed and that was it, no nap until the afternoon.

Apart from one day where he had a very late morning nap, and then a late afternoon nap where I had to wake him up for fear he wouldn’t sleep at bedtime (mean mummy) he has done pretty well on just one nap a day, though he now naps pretty much straight after lunch and is pretty dozy before lunchtime bless him.

In many ways, no morning nap is a good thing. There are some baby groups I would like to take him to that I haven’t before because they were slap bang in the middle of nap time, which we can of course now go to. His sleep in general has settled down, he’s no longer waking up at 530am every day, and he has a good two hour nap in the afternoon. But man, the long awake time in the morning is exhausting! I definitely need to find some new ways of keeping him entertained and I think the baby groups will help, although of course being easter holidays they aren’t on at the moment!

I also need to find time for housework. I know I now have 2 hours in the afternoon but I really am tired by then so don’t want to be spending the whole two hours cleaning! Whereas up until now I have basically had his awake time as playtime, now he is going to have to help with some chores I think, in the loosest sense of the word of course! So far he has stood and helped pull some wet clothes out of the washing machine. Unfortunately when trying to get him to help put clothes in the machine, he would much rather pull them out, but hey it’s a start! He also enjoys a nice ride in the laundry basket with the wet clothes to get to the airer.

When I get the dustbuster out he does like it, especially if he gets a little hoover kiss on his tummy through his clothes. He likes trying to grab it, but so far hasn’t actually helped in any way! As long as he’s happy when I’m dong chores is the main thing as I am going to have to find time to do them when he is awake from now on! My mother in law said that the boys liked helping her do the dusting so maybe when he’s a bit bigger I’ll give that a try! How do you manage to get chores done with the baby awake?

Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

Can I really do this?

Life

The financial side of being a stay at home mum – bargain hunting!

It’s our Anniversary! Here’s our whirlwind story…

Feeling refreshed after a lovely weekend, and renewed domestic efforts!

A very poorly and grumpy bank holiday but improvements at mealtimes!

Snoring through a wedding ceremony!

Post holiday blues and being thankful for other mummy friends!

A very lovely family holiday

Holiday preparation with a tiny toddler

A very trying day…

Naps..when 2 becomes 1