Is PND losing it’s hold on me?

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I can’t believe it has been a year since I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression. In so many ways it feels like 5 minutes ago and I really didn’t think I would still be taking my anti-depressants a year on. But after trying and failing to come off them earlier in the year I have been in absolutely no rush to try again until I was more sure that I was ready to. I have worried at times that I wouldn’t know when that time was and would I ever feel ready to try with absolute certainty? I’m still not 100% sure but things are different at the moment. I feel different.

I am starting to wonder whether PND is losing its hold on me and feel there is the possibility that I am coming out the other side. It is a little difficult to quantify other than saying that I feel different. I wouldn’t say life is particulalrly less challenging than it was a year ago. With the kids being a year older things are different now and probably challenging in different ways. If anything though things have been really tough lately. With hubs’ operation meaning I have had to pick up all of the slack and try and get everything done I was worried how I would cope with it. Worried that it would knock me down. But it hasn’t. I have just got on with it and though yes, I have felt overwhelmed and stressed at times, but where in the past those feelings would have consumed me, they just haven’t this time. I have found it relatively easy to focus on the positives.

The worst thing about the PND for me was the way it changed me as a parent. I wasn’t able to be the mother I wanted to be while I was in the worst moments of it. I was tetchy, irritable, tearful and so snappy with the children. Doing anything fun with them was too much effort and the TV was on far more than I wanted it to be because it was the easy option. That was when I realised and accepted that there was a problem and that I needed help. That was why I went on the anti-depressants, and they have helped, so so much. They have helped me to be more like the mother I want to be (I’m still not as perfect as I would like haha but are any of us?).

So why do I feel this time like it may be more than just the anti-depressants helping me. Again it is so hard to quantify but where the anti-depressants have always helped there has still been times when things have been too much for me. When the kids getting messy with paint has tipped me over the edge and brought back the shouty snappy mum. When a day with little sleep or my husband not helping me as much as I wanted has resulted in me being foul and grumpy and unable to lift myself out of that.

Lately though I am more able to make the choice between being grumpy or looking past the problem to see the positives. That is the key and that is the difference between just feeling a bit down, and having a mental illness, in my opinion. A difference that isn’t easy to see or explain, a difference that perhaps you have to feel to understand. I have tried so many times in the last year (and beforehand before I accepted there was a problem) to be mindful, to choose to be happy, and I just haven’t managed it. No matter how I hard I tried I was constantly dragged back to the darkness by the simplest and smallest of things. Even whilst on the anti-depressants, though a thousand times better than without them, the darkness is often not that far away. Now though, the darkness feels smaller, more manageable.

Let’s face it, parenting can be a battlefield. You can wake feeling positive in the morning but after your preschooler having a major meltdown about which pants to wear, a baby throwing breakfast on the floor, pulling off their nappy and weeing everywhere it is easy for that positivity to be eroded. When those things happen on a day when you haven’t slept well or have woken with a cloud over you it is very hard to see the positive side to anything. Everyone has bad days, but depression can mean most days are bad days, or that on a good day, even something minor can turn that day into a bad day.

Maybe hubs’ operation has helped because I have had to get on with things. There has been noone there to pick up the pieces for me. Hubs and I both know that sometimes we make each other lazier… with the “oh they can do that” or blaming them for not getting jobs done. Not in a nasty or even a particulalrly concsious way… but we know we do it. With him out of action I have definitely noticed it as I have known that there is noone else to clear the dishes, do the washing up, empty the bins, mow the lawn etc. etc. There was no point griping about it I just got on with it. Maybe that has helped shift my attitude in every area? Or maybe it has happened at a time when the PND is subsiding. When I am able to choose to see thehappy rather than focus on being stressed.

Will this feeling last? I have no idea, but I hope so. I’m not going to suddenly stop taking my anti-depressants yet. Hubs has to go to Canada for 5 days for work in a couple of weeks so I will see how that goes first. If all goes well and the positivity remains, I will try and cut the dosage again. See what happens then. This time though it will be my choice, because I feel I am ready. Not because a Dr thinks it is time that I come off them, or because I feel like I should be able to come off them. But because I just might be ready to. I will keep you posted!

Our little cyclist

Posted by Caroline Elliott

We have had a huge wonderful event in our house and one I am so excited about. Monkey can ride his bicycle!

We bought his bike last year as a 3rd birthday present, but he just couldn’t get it. We knew it would come when he was ready so didn’t force the issue too much… Even though I was looking forward to the day when we could go on a family bike ride.

I persuaded him to try a couple of times earlier this year but “its too hard work” was always the response. Then in March his good friend Felix got a bike for his 4th birthday and basically hasn’t stopped riding it since then and was even off stabilisers after a few weeks. Monkey was suitably impressed and showed a lot of interest in his bike after that. We got him out on his again a few times and he definitely improved though he still said it was hard and tiring. His uncle even helped out but laughed and said he was lazy as he wanted to be pushed all the time haha.

Then I realised his tyres needed pumping up. In fact, *bad parent alert* his back tyre was flat as a pancake! No wonder it was hard work. We pumped his tyres up and he improved almost immediately.After a few more practice runs it clicked and he just suddenly got it. He even figured out how to move his pedals to the right position to start himself off. He is loving getting out on his bike so much and we are so so proud of him.

We have been out on his bike loads this week and Daddy even got his bike out too. LM adores running in front or behind too and finds the whole thing hilarious at the moment. He’s still pretty slow so a little while until no stabilisers I think but he does keep talking about Felix riding without his so who knows. We have sorted helmets now (his head his so big he fits in Daddy’s haha) and pumped up the tyres on my bike and I was quite excited to take both kiddies on a short bike ride on my own. LM wasn’t sure at first but then started enjoying it I think. Difficult to see when she is sat behind me haha.

Right now I am just looking forward to hubs recovering from his knee op so we can all work towards a nice family bike ride, even if just a short one to start with!

Monkey is 4!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Hard to believe but I have been a parent for 4 whole years, to this beautiful little boy of mine.

This little Monkey is now not so little but he is definitely still a Monkey! He seems more and more grown up all the time and I honestly have to remind myself sometimes that he is still such a little boy really, especially as he is so tall (3’6 1/2″), as it makes it easy to forget he isn’t older. Sometimes with him it feels as if he is two different boys, he can be the sweetest soul imaginable, or can be a defiant and aggravating little terror. I think that is pretty normal though and at least the second boy isn’t around all the time.

So what do I mean? Well he is such a sweet and caring boy. He can be so so good with his sister and so kind and caring to everyone. On our recent holiday he shared his ice cream with his sister, and was trying to help her put her shoes on and off. We recently overheard him saying to her “it’s a broken one darling” and I can’t help but melt at him calling his sister darling, even when I know he is just copying us really. He tells us he loves us all the time and has recently told his sister and I that “we will be friends forever”. I do hope that is true! He adores all his friends and family and loves being around people.

He drives us crazy frequently, as I will explain later, and one day recently after a particulalry frustrtaing mealtime, hubs and I were bickering about what was best to do about it. We were both so frustrated and tired of the mealtime battles with him and were so grumpy with each other. Monkey, with all the wisdom of an almost 4 year old, came over and said “So we’ve got a problem. We need to stop arguing.” To which hubs and I responded that we were arguing because he refused to eat his dinner again and that that was the problem. He walked away for a think and hubs and I sat seething slightly in silence (noone wants their child to tell them to stop arguing). He then came back in, walked over to Daddy, gave him a cuddle and said “This is how we look after each other. We give each other cuddles.” Then he came over and cuddled up to me. We were still so cross but it was hard not to melt slightly about our little boy trying to console us, even though it was because of him in the first place!!

He is so clever and is learning so much all the time at this age. The things he comes out with at times though are hilarious! Some are accurate and some are so randomly timed, for example randomly telling an uncle that we see all the time “We’ve got a new room and it’s got a white carpet and white walls” one day, despite said uncle having been in our “new” room many times since the garage conversion last year haha. Others are funny as they show the way he is trying to make sense of the world around him.

A few examples.

One day in the bath he was pretending he was LM, Daddy was Mummy and vice versa and it was very cute, then he announces “But I can still speak boy language” haha I wish I spoke boy language my darling.

“There’s another great idea coming on”

“I forgot to tell the hairdresser that I have a hurty knee! Silly me I forgot”

When walking to/from his grandparents’ house and announcing “This is the quickest way” while heading down a route that is most certainly not the quickest way. Sometimes I indulge him and he does concede that it was a long way, other times I don’t have the time and ooh tantrums.

Giving me a science lesson “These are buds and then they will grow like this”

“My pink skin is gone again” (when he has painted his hands.)

“Excuse me, I have some really important news… This pot is broken”

“Excuse me but you hurt me a bit” (the sofa)

He says “excuse me” a lot actually and it can be very sweet as it sounds so polite!

When we were talking about St George and St George’s Day, I explained that he fought a dragon, and Monkey announced “He tickled the dragon and made it good.” clearly learned from “how to train your dragon” and one of many examples of how impressionable he is at the moment. He has been enjoying watching Peppa Pig a lot lately and has picked up some great, and some less great phrases from that programme! He loves repeating “That was a stroke of luck” but he also loves saying “why” as a result of an episode where George says “why” all the time, and has also decided that some things are boys things and some things are girls things after an episode where they do something similar. For the most part I actually like Peppa Pig but I have slightly cursed it a few times for the things he has chosen to learn from it!

He’s also really impressionable when it comes to other children. A new family recently moved nearby and their son is a few years older than Monkey. Unfortnately he is also quite badly behaved though and not a great unfluence for Monkey at the age he is at. He is really overexuberant screaming and being crazy which Monkey copies, but also says things about boobies and poo poo and if Monkey doesn’t do what he wants then he says “we’re not friends anymore”, calls Monkey a baby and storms off. Monkey then repeats these things at home and it is difficult, because I know he will learn these things in time anyway, but I am not particularly a believer in the “boys are just boisterous” mentality and he also needs to learn that it isn’t ok to behave like that, in my opinion.

Because as sweet as Monkey can be, remember I said that there is another side to him, ooh well his behaviour can be awful at times. Most of it, I know is just testing his boundaries and to be honest, attention seeking. As much as I know he loves his sister he can get terribly jealous of her. I do feel sorry for him at times as he has this little sister who is cute as a button and who charms everyone she meets. A sister who is very attention seeking and a complete diva of a madam when she doesn’t get what she wants. Plus she is still so young and needs more of our attention at times. So it is no wonder our boy plays up to get our attention too. He always wants whatever she has and can be terrible at times when I know he really just wants our attention.

Mealtimes are the worst and honestly they can be variable, with him eating really well some days, to taking hours to eat anything other days. With him screaming no and refusing point blank to even try something that I know he likes, or just sitting playing with his fingers and singing instead of eating anything so that we get wound up and he is sat there for over an hour by which time we have lost our rag with him. We try ignoring him but that doesn’t seem to work as how long can you ignore your child for? We try threats but then he just says ok and trots off to bed or wherever and is happy to take the punishment as it means he gets his own way and doesn’t have to eat.

Most of the rest of the time the naughty spot does still work and often even the threat of it, though I hate having to get that far. The arguments we have over everything are just exhausting some days. Arguing about needing the toilet, about wearing a coat about wearing shoes or wellies, about tidying his toys, about having a drink. Honestly that is just so far today and there will certianly be arguments about mealtime, bathtime, bedtime, etc, etc, etc to come today! Again though I have to remind myself that until now, he wasn’t even 4. Sometimes because his sister can be such hard work, I can often expect a lot of our little Monkey. I expect him to be so grown up when really his behavious is perfectly normal for his age.

So, back to good things. and our little Monkey is learning so much all of the time now. He is so good on his scooter (finally) and starting to get to grips with his bicycle too, whough I think we have a way to go with that one yet. He loves drawing and writing and writes his full name (including surname) with ease and has even written some of his friends names. He so wants to be able to write everything, and the same goes for reading. There are lots of words that he can recognise and tries to read many others on signs when we are out and about too. His drawing is brilliant his imaginative play has come on so much.

He adores playing with lego, especially his Daddy’s old Star Wars Lego. In fact he loves anything Star Wars, particularly Darth Vader (though he is a good darth vader apparently) and loves watching the films and playing lego on afternoons when he is at home and LM is asleep. He has also recently discovered Transformers in the form of one of Daddy’s old toys and he adores playing with Optimus Prime.

He loves playing games with us all too and actually one of his favourite toys is a baby dolly, who is his baby and who goes to bed with him at night. Along with his fave comforter Doggy Bear, and Dr Wilber, one of his Daddy’s old teddies who is also now a dr apparently who is the only one who can comfort Monkey when he has a cut or splinter or something. Even if he “says” exactly the same things Mummy or Daddy have been saying…

He is such a character and is so full of fun, and is sometimes a complete little loony. In fact one of his favourite games is “running round like loonies” and “running round like loonies then cuddling” bless him. He has a great sense of humour and loves to laugh, he is also such a good boy on the whole. He is so polite and tries his best (when he wants to) and is growing up so much all the time.

Looking back at photos for this post has been interesting actually. I sometimes feel like I neglect him these days because of his sister being around and I also think I don’t give him enough special attention, or enough credit for how well behaved he is. So my promise to my darling boy is that Mummy will try and do better. I love him so much, he changed my world the day he made me a Mummy and I wouldn’t be without him for a second.

Siblings May 2016

Posted by Caroline Elliott

The relationship between siblings is so magical to watch, and it is a relationship unlike any other. Watching the way my 2 interact and learn from each other is amazing. They have good times and less good times obviously but we really are lucky with how close they are I think. They just love to be together and seem to really enjoy each other’s company, even when they are messing with each other.

There is obviously jealousy on both sides, both usually want what the other one has (especially if that is a person like Daddy or I) and they can get very silly. Monkey sometimes copies her babyish behaviour (not that it gets tolerated) and I do feel for him a lot when she gets away with a bit more than he does – purely because of her age. He also gets less attention when she is having a bad day or a meltdown and again I feel for him – but he reacts by acting up and it can be a vicious circle. It an be difficult to discipline him though when his baby sister wants to cheer him up and starts playing with him when he is on the naughty spot!!

Despite the sibling rivalry it is clear that they adore each other. LM always wants to give the flowers she picks to her brother, nobody else, and this month Monkey has been so good and kind to her in a way that has melted our hearts. He has helped her put her shoes on and has taken them off for her. He even gave her some of his ice cream while we were on holiday which utterly surprised all of us, and obviously made her very happy!

One day at bathtime when LM was teething and miserable we ended up in a game where Monkey was kissing his sister’s feet and making her laugh, It was so lovely to see and they both thought it was such a great game. There are times when he would do anything for his sister.

They learn so much from each other, she is always watching what he is up to and wants to copy, and for her part she makes him braver as she is fearless and he doesn’t want to miss out on anything. This morning on a slide at the playpark Monkey waited for LM to sit next to him at the top. She then wanted to hold his hands. Monkey announced “we will be friends forever” before they slid down hand in hand. Just melt your heart amazing.

(Apologies for the rubbish quality of these shots, my phone is being repaired and my camera broke while we were away so I only have my completely rubbish temporary phone camera at the moment – hopefully not for too much longer though!!)

You’d think that I wouldn’t have anything to say about my silbings month after month, but somehow there is always something new happening between them.

Seeing the world through her eyes

Posted by Caroline Elliott

One of the things I love most about being a mum, and a Stay at Home mum especially, is being able to watch the kids grow and learn right in front of my eyes. With Monkey at the moment this is so tangible as his vocabulary is coming along so well, and he is learning to read and write. With Little Miss it is a little more subtle but she is learning so much every day about the world around her… And I love to see to see the world through her eyes as to her everything is new, and everything is fascinating.

She wants to stop and investigate every twig, bush, flower, puddle, feather, anything really. It is so cute, but does mean that it takes a long time to get anywhere!

Especially as even when she has decided she has looked at something enough and walks away, she very often has to pop back for another look… Just to make sure haha. Definitely time consuming! Here’s a little clip to show you what I mean.

She’s also discovered more about herself lately. She loves investigating her tummy button and finds it hilarious, and wonderful, to see herself in the mirror. She’s so cute doing this and it’s lovely to see her kiss herself, give herself a high five and laugh at seeing her reflection.

She’s also discovering her hands more and was so sweet on a walk a few days ago discovering that she could hide her hands in her sleeve and then find them again.

One last clip of her to show where I tried to show her a sticky plant.. And, well you will see her reaction.

She cracks me up.

Don’t you just love seeing the world through their eyes?

Little Miss is 18 mths old

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Wow, so our gorgeous, clever little lady is 18mths old. I can’t believe it as the last 6 months have seriously flown by and she really is growing into a little girl before our eyes. Our baby girl is just not a baby anymore and that’s a scary thought. 18 mths

So what is she up to? Well in many ways she’s not changed that much since my update last month, but in other ways she really is developing and changing so much all of the time.

So similarities first. She is still fiercely independent and loves to go her own way when we are out on walks. She is still absolutely obsessed with puddles and it can be seriously hard to get her away from one she is having fun splashing in. Cue screaming and tantrums and kicking off wellies as she certainly knows how to let us know her displeasure! She’s also discovered daisies this month too which really slows down our walks!

Her communication is one area where she has really developed this month. We still don’t have many words but it really feels like she is on the cusp as there are lots of *almost* words. Still duck, hiya, mama, da-de (somewhere between dada and daddy), dat (that) but also approximations of no (nananananananana at increasing volume), yes, wow, out, down, boots, and my mum is convinced she has said car too. Aside from the words she is really good at letting us know what she wants and getting us to do her bidding. She has an ‘ayow’ noise, which accompanied by a hand wave, means “get me that” or “I want that” or “hold my hand” or basically “help me with this” which we have to interpret depending on the situation!

We are getting good at this but she does expect everyone to be able to understand her too. She is such a little attention seeker actually and loves getting people to do her bidding. On play dates she will always try and persuade (by taking their hands, saying ayow and leading them to where she wants) other mums to help her, even when she doesn’t really need helping! She is such a flirt too and positively beams at people and is learning that helps her get what she wants. Especially with her softy uncles who all adore her!

She has also developed some other really cute hand movements. She loves playing hide and seek (thankfully as Monkey insists on playing at least once a day) and is so cute when she holds her hands up and looks around in imitation of us saying “where’s he gone?”. She also does a similar hand movement when she has done something she is proud of. So when she has put some puzzle pieces in, or I’ve helped her finish something, and it is lovely seeing her so proud of herself. The other hand movement she has learned this month is a high five. She loves giving people high fives and generally has to give a high five to everyone in the building!

Her personality is developing so much and she loves to laugh and loves trying to make people laugh. She’s actually a bit of a show off, running around and spinning and beaming at people who come to visit. As I mentioned she is an attention seeker so she likes going up to people and messing with them. With adults she goes up with a big grin and almost throws herself at them, and with other kids, she likes trying to tickle them and messes with their hair. She constantly does this to her brother and it does make him laugh!

She loves being chased by her brother and by me, and will take any opportunity, especially at nappy change time or when I am trying to get her dressed, to run away giggling! I do indulge her quite a bit as it is gorgeous seeing her so happy while saying “Mummy’s gonna get you..” hehe.

Because I have felt a bit like I baby her I have been trying to make sure I do lots of activities with her this month. I looked up the activities I did with Monkey at this age and have been trying to do similar with LM. So we have been painting and playing with play doh which she loves. I’ve also got some puzzles and very simple jigsaws out and she loves having a go at those.

We’ve also made a bit of a change this month and have moved from the high chair to a booster chair at the big table.
She was in the high chair far longer than Monkey and has always been happy in there but lately less so. She loves sitting at the big table with us and positively beams at Daddy and I during dinner which is amazing. Food wise we are going through a bit of a fussy stage with her unfortunately. I had hoped that baby led weaning would have maybe prevented this but I really hope she doesn’t get as bad as her brother was at this age. So far she still adores fruit, ans she likes what she likes. So meals we have frequently, such as tortellini in pasta sauce, curry, Thai curry, falafel, cheese on toast, soups, carbonara etc, she loves and will tuck into. Anything we haven’t had for a while or anything new she just will not try and it generally ends up on he floor. Seeing a plate of lovely food fly across the room is so frustrating but I am trying to rise above and give her just one or two bits at a time to throw and hope she gets the taste for it! She’s even started pulling apart trusty fish fingers so she will eat the breaded bits around the edge but not the fish despite previously loving them. So frustrating! She does have a good diet so I am trying not to stress but it drives me mad too and I hate having such fussy eaters.

Anyway back to happier things, as I mentioned above she loves puddles but basically she loves water in all its forms. She adores water play and watering the garden. We have done water painting which she was brilliant at and she adores bathtime fun in the bath. To be honest she would be happy playing with water most of the day I think haha and at least it is an easy activity to clean up.

She also adores just going for a walk. She frequently finds her wellies or a pair of shoes and is actually amazing at getting them on herself which I am dead impressed by. She then presents me with my shoes and I know it is time to go out. She can walk for ages and we have braved a few short walks without the buggy as she can walk a good long way now when she is in the mood. The buggy does help though if I need to get her away from a puddle!

She loves visiting our friends next door who have a trampoline in the garden and she lives bouncing on there. Their 8 yr old is also really really good with her and gives her loads of attention which she also loves. We joke that she is going to be a gymnast when she is older as she loves being upside down and being flipped over and helped to do role poleys. It’s a bit barmy actually as she even likes lying back and being upside down in the shopping trolley, looney girl! She loves climbing and unfortunately after copying some older children now likes climbing up the slide, which means I have to really watch her and make sure she goes up the steps rather than the slide itself! She’s also teaching herself how to use Monkey’s scooter which is cute and a bit amazing to me as Monkey’s only really got good in the last year. They really are such different children.

These updates are never the most eloquent of prose as I keep adding bits as I remember them, and I know that they are a bit picture heavy, but I hope one day she will like to read what she was up to at this age. She is a force to be reckoned with at times and has the loveliest smile that just melts the heart of anyone she bestows it on.

She drives me potty at times but I adore her all of the time.

I get by, with a little help from my friends

Posted by Caroline Elliott

My word of the week this week, is friends, because I am incredibly grateful for the wonderful friends have in my life and honestly don’t know how I would cope without them!

Last Friday night my closest Mummy friends and I got together for a much needed catch up and meal out. We all worked together pre-children and since having our little munchkins we have gotten so close. We share the ups and the downs and though we really are all quite different, we support each other and are 100% there for each other. As one of my friends put it the other night, we are so lucky we found each other. It had been far too long since our last catch up without children and I hope we don’t leave it so long next time. We got things off our chests, shared the highs and lows of life lately and gave each other a good talking to where needed. Love my girls and I felt so happy and chilled afterwards.

I’ve also had some lovely time with some newer mummy friends this week and play dates with their little ones. Since Monkey started our local preschool I have gotten to know a few of the local mums. I am a bit of an introvert so find the playground mums thing really awkward but there are a couple of mums I really get on with. One in particular introduced me to someone as the first mummy friend she had met who she would have been friends with pre-children, which I was really touched by. She and I really click which is lovely as her eldest will be in Monkey’s class at primary school, so I think we have many years of friendship ahead of us! Some of the other mummies I chat to on the playgroup run are equally lovely and sometimes just those few mins chatting at the beginning and end of the day, sharing trials and tribulations really can make so much difference to how I feel at the end of the day.

I have also felt incredibly grateful for the friendship and support I get online as a result of my blog and social media this week. Parenting can be so hard, and after sharing a particularly low morning on Instagram and Facebook, the support and encouragement I got from cyber friends was incredible. Many are women I have never met but thanks to the internet we are able to reach out and support each other through this motherhood journey, and I am so grateful for that.

My blog has connected me to so many wonderful people, and as I can be a bit introverted as I mentioned above, I don’t always make the most of this. I shy away from blog conferences and meeting fellow bloggers purely out of shyness and a lack of confidence in myself. But this week I have finally arranged to meet up with a blogger I have admired for some time. I am nervous but we get on so well in typing that I hope we will get on as well in person!

My blog has also reconnected me with people I have lost touch with over the years. A lovely lady I met travelling 9 years ago got in touch this week and told me how much my blog helps her through her motherhood journey, and well wow, what an awesome thing. Helping anyone with my ramblings is amazing and reconnecting with a friend from my past is always lovely. There are other lovely blogging mummies that I worked with in a previous life, and I’ve mentioned before how Sarah from Run, Jump, Scrap and I have become much closer through blogging. Our husbands have been friends since childhood so it really is great when we all get together. We have arranged to meet next weekend and I am so looking forward to that! The friendship side was just something I really never expected when I started writing my little blog but it is a fantastic bonus.

The final reason that my word of the week this week is friends, is because Saturday is my birthday, and we are having a bbq in the afternoon (fingers crossed for kind weather!) with lots of family and friends over. Once again I am so grateful for having so many lovely people in my life who are coming to celebrate with me, please cross your fingers for good weather for me, otherwise we may have a slightly crowded house!

How has your week been?

Siblings April 2016

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Wow I can’t believe it is time for another siblings post already. Seriously where is this year going? April, wowzers.

This month has seen the arrival of spring, which has meant warmer, milder days and lots of fun outdoors. It has also been the easter holidays, which because of chicken pox and tummy bugs beforehand, seemed to last forever in our house. It has meant lots of time together. In other words lots of fun but also lots of screaming and pushing and getting on each others nerves. Lots of of Monkey getting jealous over the amount of attention his sister demands and lots of tantrums on both sides.

So it has been tricky at times but there are still many many times where they melt my heart and I really couldn’t ask for them to have a better relationship.

They have so much fun together now, with lots of chasing and giggling going on and that’s where some of my favourite shots of them together come from this month.

I also love these shots. Yes they are both glued to my phone (stellar parenting eh?) but I love the way they are actually sharing it for once… Or at least that they start off sharing it… And that even though Monkey tries to move it away, I like LM’s determination to keep her eyes on it, and I love the way they are sort of snuggled in the end. Cuties!

And finally, just because they are adorable, some of the other random shots of my little pair together. Love them!

There’s no denying that two kiddies are hard work and I have to admit to being glad to getting back to routine this week with Monkey being back at preschool. But I love them so much and I love the way they love each other too.

Feeling a little nostalgic

Posted by Caroline Elliott

This week has been a bit tough at points. I always find it the same in the holidays, trying to keep both kids entertained and happy invariably makes me feel like a bit of a failure and questioning my choice to be a SAHM.

In truth we have done better this time but because of a combination of chicken pox and tummy bugs Monkey has actually been off pre-school for about a month and he is definitely ready to go back now. He is bored and flitting from activity to activity. He is clingy and jealous of the attention his little sister needs and demanding so much attention from me constantly. In short he is driving me a bit nuts. I’ve really just tried to keep busy and not focus on this too much. Next week we will be back to routine and I am sure things will improve. I have felt a bit low this week though which may be why certain things are making me feel a bit nostalgic.

First of all, our little lady’s feet have grown, meaning it is time to say goodbye to her pink wellies (and all her other shoes but somehow I don’t feel nostalgic about those!). I’m not sure if it is because she is the second child or because we have decided she is our last baby but I am definitely more nostalgic about some things with her. Perhaps also because she seems so diddy. Monkey, on the 90th percentile of the growth chart and seriously tall for his age, has never really felt diddy. Anyway I also love her wellies so much. She has had so many adventures in them over the winter and I am a bit sad to say goodbye to them.

Another element with her being the second child is that we don’t always pay as much notice to her milestones as we did with Monkey. The big ones yes of course, but the little ones, not so much. With Monkey I was keeping an eye on his hand eye coordination and fine motor skills to make sure he was on track. With LM I haven’t paid nearly as much attention. This week I decided to have a look back at my blog to see what I was up to with Monkey at her age, I really do love my blog for the ability to do that and it was so lovely to see what he was up to at her age and remember what he was like as a little (ish) toddler!

We do do a lot of the same activities but there are some I did with Monkey by now that I haven’t done with her. I guess it goes back to what I said earlier about her being so diddy and because she is our baby… But I think of her as not being able to do things yet because she is too young.. When she really isn’t! So I have tried to make more of an effort to do a few more activities with her and will try and do more of this when Monkey is back at preschool next week and she and I have more 1 on 1 time together.

Then Monkey and I had some 1 on 1 time together on Tuesday and did an activity that made both hubs and I feel nostalgic about our childhood. Bubble painting! I will share more about that in a day or so but it really was great fun!

The final reason I have been feeling a little nostalgic is because I have been looking through some of my childhood photos with Monkey. During a chance encounter with a friend’s parents they mentioned that they thought LM looked like her Nanny (my Mum) so I was having a look to see who she did resemble and Monkey very much enjoyed seeing his Mummy and Uncles when we were little (more on this to come in a few days too!).

I hope the holidays get easier as the kids get older, as I have always hoped I would be the Mum who looks forwards to the holidays nd enjoys them rather than wishing them over. for now though I am just getting through the week as best I can.

How was your week? Do you get nostalgic when your little ones reachmilestones or grow out of certain outfits?

Little Miss at 17 Months

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Its been a couple of months since I last wrote an update for our gorgeous girl, and she really has grown up so much in that time. As I type this the poor darling is snuggled up to me as she has caught chicken pox from her brother and she is really not herself. So it is quite nice to think about how happy she is most of the time!

I say most as she is incredibly strong-willed which leads to some doozies of tantrums. She knows what she wants and if she can’t have it she certainly knows how to tell us she isn’t happy about it even though she doesn’t have many words yet. She is really pushing her boundaries and asserting her will a lot, which is all part of her age but it can be hard work! Most of her tantrums are because she can’t do what she wants… Such as stand on the sofa, push buttons on the laptop or walk onto a road. Some are out of frustration too as she wants to be able to do things that she can’t always quite manage. She is doing so well though.

She is really good with her hands now is really quite dextrous. She loves posting things (as all toddlers do) and adores Monkey’s Mr Potato Head and she spends ages putting things in and out of the holes. She even made a proper face the other day which I was surprised by… Though then went back to random combinations so I think it’s just the law of averages that she would have got them in the right place eventually hehe. She is also learning how to build with blocks. I’ve seen her build a tower of 4 but for the most part she likes to build a few towers of 2 or 3 arranged just so, which is seriously cute to watch. She likes things the way she likes them!

She plays so well independently too, in a way her big brother never really has. She obviously loves being played with and she almost constantly what’s me to read her stories, but there is a lot of time when she is just content to potter about by herself, playing with toys. This also goes for little soft play areas. On a recent visit to a cafe with a play area she was happy playing in there by herself for ages and then loved it when some older girls joined her too. There is no way Monkey would ever have been happy playing on his own like this at her age! He only just does it now and even then he gets bored after a few mins. She is so sociable and adores other kids and for the most part other kids love her too.

She really is an independent little miss though and when we are out for a walk she often just decides she wants to go in a particular direction and off she trots. Again something Monkey never really did as he never wanted to leave our side. It’s obviously not always a good thing and she gets in such a mard when I have to stop her going the way she wants, to you know, save her life. I mean, how dare I stop her walking in the road!?

Another trouble we have with walks is puddles. I’ve actually decided she is addicted to puddles as she just cannot keep away from them. She is generally wearing waterproofs and wellies so is allowed in puddles, but it’s like she can’t walk away from them. She tries, and she takes a few steps, then stops and looks back longingly at the puddle. She can do this a few times before running back to the puddle and starting the cycle all over again. It does mean it takes a heck of a long time to get anywhere if there are puddles about!

She loves being out and about though so I can’t mind too much. She often gets her coat and shoes and demands (wordlessly) that we put them on. Even if she is only wearing pjs at the time haha.She is also trying really hard to put her boots on herself and is great at getting her arms in her coat. She often presents me with my shoes too or takes me by the hand and leads me to the front door bless her.

She is getting so quick on her feet too, running about everywhere, though she also still falls over a lot and constantly seems to have grazed or bruised knees. She also spends so much time running round the living room and spinning herself. She has also even taught herself to jump! She’s only managed both feet off the floor a couple of times but we can’t believe it as Monkey was nearly 3 before he learned to jump. She loves being active, she adores swimming and being the bath and is such a little water baby.

It also looks like she may be talking earlier than her big brother did. She is very vocal and there are definitely early versions of the words, hiya, dada, (often combined to be hiyadada) and duck are the main ones but there are more and more sounds these days and she understands so much that we say and ask her to do (even though she doesn’t always listen… ;)). She also makes the most gorgeous durdle durdle noises, and I managed to get a very cute snippet of this on film one day when she was just sat playing with toy food. Such adorable little noises I know I will miss when she is talking more.

She’s shooting up and seems really tall now which has really upped her climbing on things as she can climb onto some low chairs. She’s fearless too with climbing from one chair to another and scares the bejeeses out of me at times! Oh I could go on talking about her little ways for ages I think so I will leave it there.

She is growing up so fast and while there are many things about the age that I won’t miss (such as poo in the bath, dinner thrown everywhere, the whining etc.), there are many things I will miss. The way she kicks her legs when she is happy and the way she screws her face up when she splashes herself. The sounds she makes… from growling to giggling to durdle durdle ing. The way she shouts hiya to everyone and runs for cuddles, and the way she picks up a phone and says hiya. The way she puts a blanket on her head and spins round in circles, laughing her head off because she can’t see where she is going. LM 17 mths The way she sits cross legged when she is concentrating on something and the way she runs away giggling every time I come to change her nappy – especially cute when her little botty is bare! The way she shouts “duck” at every picture of a duck in every book we own! The way she closes the door to the conservatory then plays hide and seek through the glass panes. The way she loves running down hills, with even the tiny slope outside of her Granny’s house providing much merriment. The concerned look on her face if she hears someone crying, expecially if it is her brother. The way she sometimes lies face down on the floor like she has passed out. Such a randomer!

Sometimes I really wish I could bottle her up and keep her this way forever. But I know there is more fun to come too. For now I am looking forward to her feeling better and being back to her normal happy self.

Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

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Parenting

Is PND losing it’s hold on me?

Our little cyclist

Monkey is 4!

Siblings May 2016

Seeing the world through her eyes

Little Miss is 18 mths old

I get by, with a little help from my friends

Siblings April 2016

Feeling a little nostalgic

Little Miss at 17 Months