For the most part I like to keep this blog a pretty positive place, and I don’t want to be a moaner, but honestly this last week has been difficult. I struggled to choose the right word for it actually, contenders were hard, exhausting, poorly, screaming, unhappy. I have settled on ‘difficult.’
Hubs and Monkey have had a rotten cough and cold for a while now and because he is not feeling that well, Monkey is not himself at all. He is irrational and clingy. Having meltdowns at the drop of a hat and wanting Mummy all the time. He just is not a child who when poorly will be content to snuggle up in front of a film or the TV. He still wants to be on the go, doing things, playing with toys, but as with any of us when we are poorly, his patience levels are low. So if he can’t do something immediately, then meltdown. “No” and “Don’t want to” are common enough phrases in our house but this week that is pretty much all we hear. It doesn’t matter what we suggest, he even said no to cake the other day, which is completely unheard of!
So that has been fun, then there is Little Miss. How to describe Little Miss this week? Screaming mess pretty much covers it I think. With her problems with Colic and reflux I have cut out dairy entirely and that does seem to have been helping with the colic and the gaviscon has definitely helped with the reflux. So then what is the problem? Well I don’t really know but after days where I have had to deal with a baby screaming at the top of lungs for 5-6 hours at a time I am at the end of my tether. We now wonder if she has a problem when I eat eggs as that is potentially a common factor. Or we also realised that some of the colic powders we have been giving turn out to contain lactose. So as she has a problem with dairy it may be the lactose, so even though the powders seem to help initially they may actually be contributing to the problem.
Then in addition to a clingy unhappy toddler and a screaming baby who needs constant attention (which as you can imagine makes the clingy toddler really happy) I have finally succumbed to the cough and cold bug too. So on Tuesday I was alternating between the sweats and the shivers as my body tried to fight it off. On the odd occasion I managed to get LM to sleep I would wake her up with my racking coughs.
The one upside is that our night times have been a little better with LM going about 5 hours between feeds in the night. So at least we are getting some shut-eye… and if there is to be a trade off between difficult days and difficult nights then obviously I would rather get a good night’s sleep, but that doesn’t make the hellish days much easier to handle at the time.
So I have now cut out eggs as well as dairy and we certainly won’t be using those powders any more. Fingers crossed this helps and we have some easier days. I really, really hope so as I have found this week almost unbearably hard. I mentioned before about my low tolerance to baby screams and 6 hours of it is just beyond exhausting. I get so angry at the situation and then angry at LM when I know it isn’t her fault. It’s just horrible that almost all of her awake time is spent screaming and unhappy, which makes me just want her to be asleep because at least then it’s peaceful (although the only way we can get her to stay asleep for any amount of time at the moment is with white noise playing, so we have either screams or white noise about 95% of the time). I get snappy with both hubs and Monkey (though I am trying very hard not to snap at Monkey this week as I know that won’t help) and Hubs is really bearing the brunt of this.
I find myself really jealous of other families too. There is a lady I know who had a baby a few hours after I had LM and from facebook updates they seem to be doing so much better than we are. I know that facebook is not necessarily a good indicator of reality (I am pretty sure no-one would know how hard I am finding things judging by my facebook page) but I can’t help but hate the fact we are having to go through this. I wonder what life must be like if you have a baby who doesn’t have colic and reflux. A baby who doesn’t spend most of their life screaming. A baby who is happy more than they are not. Would my house resemble a house rather than a rubbish dump?Would I manage to wash my hair more than a couple of times a week? Would I look less like Stig of the Dump?
I know it’s only for a short while, I know she will grow out of the colic and we can manage the reflux to some extent. But at 7 weeks old and with potentially another 7 weeks to go (apparently most babies have outgrown colic by 14 weeks) I have no idea how we are going to cope. It is obviously worse at the moment as we are all poorly and I know that things could be so much worse. I know that we are lucky and that in the grand scheme of things, Colic and Reflux are nothing compared to serious illnesses or complications. I do know all of this, but it is just really hard going right now.
My Health Visitor came on Wednesday and I really have lucked out with her. I have met good and bad ones in the past and she is a good one thankfully. She was with me for nearly an hour and was just so supportive. We are even talking about moving onto formula (I will go into that in another post) and she was so so supportive of that and talked through it all with me.
Little Miss has been a bot better the last couple of days, thank goodness, seriously, as I feel awful. Though this afternoon I had to send out an SOS to hubs to help as I had woken up from a little doze to the sound of both children awake from their naps and screaming and I was feeling seriously rough too. Hubs had to get back to work and thankfully my MIL could come round and give me a hand with two unhappy children!
So yes this week has been difficult but I just have to hope that things may start looking up soon! Please!
So sorry to hear that you have had such a difficult week. It is so hard when you have to juggle two very unsettled and unhappy little ones especially when dealing with being unwell too. I really found the early days of being a mum of two incredibly hard – especially when Sophie was hard to settle and I felt very angry and resentful a lot of the time which I then felt guilty about and tried to hide. It’s only been in the last few months that I have been honest and open and am getting a lot more support from the health visitor and family as a result. I am glad that your health visitor sounds like a good one and hopefully can help provide some more support for you too.
It will get better although it is hard to see past the exhaustion sometimes. Don’t worry that the house is messy (mine is a tip and I have learned to live with it for now) or that other people look like they have got it together on facebook. My facebook feed would have implied the same – I hid behind the mask that everything was wonderful for a long time and to some extent still do a bit. Comparing your life to others via Facebook is like comparing your reality to their highlights.
You are doing a great job. You are caring for two children and doing your best to meet their needs on a day-to-day basis. It is incredibly hard sometimes just to keep going through the day and I just wanted you to know you are not alone in finding it difficult. Sending you huge virtual hugs and really hope things start to become easier for you very soon xxx
Thank you lovely and sorry to hear you had such a tough time too, its bloody hard work sometimes isn’t it!? Its good to be honest about how you’re feeling though and I am glad you are getting more support now! Xx
We all have difficult weeks 🙂
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Yes things could be worse, but you are still entitled to feel fed up right now and not feel guilty about feeling that. I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old. There’s so many times when I feel like I’m not giving enough time to one of them. We all do the best we can and sometimes there are horrendous weeks that we would just rather forget, then there are the gems that will be treasured memories forever. I hope things get better soon. And if you do move over to formula don’t beat yourself up for it. Do what works for you and LM. X
Sorry to hear that you are having a tough week, it is hard when everyone is unhappy, not their usual selves or ill isn’t it and added to that your feeding worries too, hang on in there we have all had terrible weeks and come out the other side, I really hope you are feeling better soon and little Miss settles soon. You are doing a great job and a fab mum x
Oh that sounds like a tough week, and with everyone being ill too that must magnify everything. You’re right about Facebook too, it’s only the gloss that goes on there so don’t beat yourself up. Hopefully next week will be better and then you’ll be over the hump and on the countdown to the 14 week mark, I can’t imagine how tiring and at times soul-destroying it must feel though x
Oh I do hope things improve for you and your family. I blame the weather! Kids are not coping well with this terrible weather! #wotw.
It is so hard when you have two unhappy little people and then you are ill too. It just feels never-ending. All I can say is, it will improve and this isn’t forever. Hold on to that as much as you can. And remind yourself that you’re doing the best job you can. Never doubt that x
Oh, this does sound tough. It’s hard enough with a toddler and baby, then there’s the inevitable tiredness, so illness on top makes it all so much more difficult. It is hard, so please don’t berate yourself over it, and as Iona says, hold on to the thought that it won’t be like this forever. Just get through the days as best you can until then x Thanks for sharing with #WotW
Nope dont rely on FB posts to gauge how better the other people are. Cuz like me I am just posting happy stuff there so that my relatives wont worry how much of a mess I am here. I am thinking of you and I can only imagine how hard it is. I hope everything will be better for all of us suffering. #wotw
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I really hope you are all better soon. Facebook is full of people trying to portray how they wish their life was so I tend to ignore a lot of it. Instagram can be as bad, full of people with immaculate houses and children who don’t have snotty noses. I just think they probably spent an hour styling the shot to be just so (or else they are super heroes).
Lack of sleep and no quality rest makes us all grumpy. How you are feeling is normal. At least you have the support of a good hv and you can decide together whether formula is the best way forward. Sending big hugs to you all xx
My heart really goes out to you, I wish I could come over and help you out for a few hours! Facebook is the worst thing when you are feeling crappy, stay away, I deleted mine a few months ago because I realised it did more bad than good to my self esteem! Anyway hope you have a much better week ahead and don’t feel bad for feeling how you feel – you are a woman and a mother and a wife and all the other bloody difficult things any human being could be – and you are doing so well! Xx
Oh hun, big hugs. unwell children coupled with an unhappy baby makes for some very trying few days/weeks. I think we are our own worst enemies and Facebook and other social media can make it all the harder. Really hope things look up for you soon. Sending you lots of hugs, get well soon wishes and lots of love. xxx
Sending love and hugs! It does sound like a pretty rubbish week for you! I hope things are better for you soon x
No one’s life is Facebook perfect, no matter what they try and tell you. It’s bloody difficult when everyone is ill and the kids don’t sleep and all the other stuff is going on. You are doing the best you can and it’s all you can do.
The housework will still be there after the colic is gone and everyone is feeling better so don’t worry about it. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are doing a grand job. Hope everyone feels better soon
Thank you and I know you’re right, just so hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes isn’t it? Xx
Sounds like a tough week. I can sympathise as Ava is 8 weeks and has reflux. We are now under the paeds. Could you go back to the doctors and try a didferent med? Gaviscon actually made Ava worse and we are now trialling lanzoprasole. I’ve cut dairy out of my diet too and if it still doesn’t improve may have to cut out more which is such am extra pressure on top of the already demanding breastfeeding. Hope you all feel better soon. Hugs xx
Oh you poor thing! Like you said things could be worse, but that isn’t much consolation when you’re exhausted and have two unhappy crying children. I really hope you have a better week next week! xx
So sorry you are having a difficult week, hopefully things have got a bit better by now. There’s not much I can say that hasn’t been said, you will get through it! And thanks for sharing, I’m sure Ihave plenty of difficult weeks ahead of me so it’s always nice to know you are not alone! X
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I really feel for you, we had a similar issue with our little man. He was highly allergic to the protein in cow’s milk so that meant he was having severe reactions to my breast milk. In the end we decided to change to formula based on the Dr’s suggestion & was prescribed a specialist milk which worked wonders. I hope you manage to get things sorted for your little lady x
Sorry to hear you’ve had it rough too, just makes the newborn weeks even harder doesn’t it? Glad to hear your little one is doing better now! Xx
I wish there was something I could say that would help, but sending hugs xx
Oh what a nightmare – I really feel for you. I must have been going through that whole sweats/shakes thing at exactly the same time as you last week and I thought that was bad enough on my own with 5 & 2 year old but seriously thank God for your mil and hub! I know what it’s like to feel like you are on your knees.
I also know what you mean about feeling jealous of the people with the “easy” babies – I know someone like that at the moment and even though I’m through all that stage it makes me wonder what lovely days I could have had if things had been different. I guess the decision to have another baby is testament that those bad times soon fade but for right now, huge hugs xxx
Thank you lovely and sorry to hear you’ve been rough too, there’s nothing quote like being ill when you have children to look after is there? Aaah! Xx