For the most part I like to keep this blog a pretty positive place, and I don’t want to be a moaner, but honestly this last week has been difficult. I struggled to choose the right word for it actually, contenders were hard, exhausting, poorly, screaming, unhappy. I have settled on ‘difficult.’
Hubs and Monkey have had a rotten cough and cold for a while now and because he is not feeling that well, Monkey is not himself at all. He is irrational and clingy. Having meltdowns at the drop of a hat and wanting Mummy all the time. He just is not a child who when poorly will be content to snuggle up in front of a film or the TV. He still wants to be on the go, doing things, playing with toys, but as with any of us when we are poorly, his patience levels are low. So if he can’t do something immediately, then meltdown. “No” and “Don’t want to” are common enough phrases in our house but this week that is pretty much all we hear. It doesn’t matter what we suggest, he even said no to cake the other day, which is completely unheard of!
So that has been fun, then there is Little Miss. How to describe Little Miss this week? Screaming mess pretty much covers it I think. With her problems with Colic and reflux I have cut out dairy entirely and that does seem to have been helping with the colic and the gaviscon has definitely helped with the reflux. So then what is the problem? Well I don’t really know but after days where I have had to deal with a baby screaming at the top of lungs for 5-6 hours at a time I am at the end of my tether. We now wonder if she has a problem when I eat eggs as that is potentially a common factor. Or we also realised that some of the colic powders we have been giving turn out to contain lactose. So as she has a problem with dairy it may be the lactose, so even though the powders seem to help initially they may actually be contributing to the problem.
Then in addition to a clingy unhappy toddler and a screaming baby who needs constant attention (which as you can imagine makes the clingy toddler really happy) I have finally succumbed to the cough and cold bug too. So on Tuesday I was alternating between the sweats and the shivers as my body tried to fight it off. On the odd occasion I managed to get LM to sleep I would wake her up with my racking coughs.
The one upside is that our night times have been a little better with LM going about 5 hours between feeds in the night. So at least we are getting some shut-eye… and if there is to be a trade off between difficult days and difficult nights then obviously I would rather get a good night’s sleep, but that doesn’t make the hellish days much easier to handle at the time.
So I have now cut out eggs as well as dairy and we certainly won’t be using those powders any more. Fingers crossed this helps and we have some easier days. I really, really hope so as I have found this week almost unbearably hard. I mentioned before about my low tolerance to baby screams and 6 hours of it is just beyond exhausting. I get so angry at the situation and then angry at LM when I know it isn’t her fault. It’s just horrible that almost all of her awake time is spent screaming and unhappy, which makes me just want her to be asleep because at least then it’s peaceful (although the only way we can get her to stay asleep for any amount of time at the moment is with white noise playing, so we have either screams or white noise about 95% of the time). I get snappy with both hubs and Monkey (though I am trying very hard not to snap at Monkey this week as I know that won’t help) and Hubs is really bearing the brunt of this.
I find myself really jealous of other families too. There is a lady I know who had a baby a few hours after I had LM and from facebook updates they seem to be doing so much better than we are. I know that facebook is not necessarily a good indicator of reality (I am pretty sure no-one would know how hard I am finding things judging by my facebook page) but I can’t help but hate the fact we are having to go through this. I wonder what life must be like if you have a baby who doesn’t have colic and reflux. A baby who doesn’t spend most of their life screaming. A baby who is happy more than they are not. Would my house resemble a house rather than a rubbish dump?Would I manage to wash my hair more than a couple of times a week? Would I look less like Stig of the Dump?
I know it’s only for a short while, I know she will grow out of the colic and we can manage the reflux to some extent. But at 7 weeks old and with potentially another 7 weeks to go (apparently most babies have outgrown colic by 14 weeks) I have no idea how we are going to cope. It is obviously worse at the moment as we are all poorly and I know that things could be so much worse. I know that we are lucky and that in the grand scheme of things, Colic and Reflux are nothing compared to serious illnesses or complications. I do know all of this, but it is just really hard going right now.
My Health Visitor came on Wednesday and I really have lucked out with her. I have met good and bad ones in the past and she is a good one thankfully. She was with me for nearly an hour and was just so supportive. We are even talking about moving onto formula (I will go into that in another post) and she was so so supportive of that and talked through it all with me.
Little Miss has been a bot better the last couple of days, thank goodness, seriously, as I feel awful. Though this afternoon I had to send out an SOS to hubs to help as I had woken up from a little doze to the sound of both children awake from their naps and screaming and I was feeling seriously rough too. Hubs had to get back to work and thankfully my MIL could come round and give me a hand with two unhappy children!
So yes this week has been difficult but I just have to hope that things may start looking up soon! Please!