Being a SAHM isn’t always easy, but I do love it, for many reasons. One of the things I don’t love about being a SAHM though is the judgement that sometimes surrounds it. There has been a few things recently (including someone insinuating that I am a sponger because I don’t work) that has made me want to write this post about why being a SAHM works for me and my family.
Before I go any further, a little disclaimer, this is purely personal and all about me and my family. I do not believe all mums should be SAHMs and I am not judging anyone for the choices they have made or the way they think best to raise and support their families. Different strokes for different folks is what I believe but it can be difficult to talk about the positives of being a SAHM without being seen as judgemental or critical of working mums. That is not how this post is intended, it is purely about me and my family.
There were various things that affected my decision to be a SAHM. I wrote about it at the time here, when I first started this blog, but put simply, this is why I am a SAHM.
The financial side
I know I am very fortunate that we can afford to live on my husband’s salary alone. He has worked really hard to get where he is and works darn hard every day for a business he has built and believes in. Sometimes his head is so full of work it is hard to get him to step back and enjoy family time with us, but I know his work is a huge part of who he is and allows us to live the life that we do. We are by no means ‘well-off,’ we are fairly comfortable but we life on fairly strict budgets and are very careful with our money.
After Monkey was born we were undecided about whether or not I would go back to work part time as of course more money would make things more comfortable. Unfortunately when looking at childcare costs, they would pretty much have negated any earnings I brought in. I never earned a huge salary and particularly if I was part time I would not have earned enough to make it really worthwhile.
I know for many families there are grandparents willing to help but that isn’t the case with us. Monkey’s grandparents are all wonderful and supportive and he has a fantastic relationship with them. But none of them wished to be a permanent carer for him, week in, week out, and we didn’t really want that either. They have lives of their own and have done their years of child-raising, now they want to be the fun grandparents. I am not criticising anyone who does have grandparents who help out with childcare as again different things work for different people. It just wasn’t an option for us or our parents.
This comes back to how lucky we are that we can live on hubby’s salary and I don’t need to work. If we were not able to manage financially without my added income then of course we would have figured something out. I would have found a job working evenings, weekends or early mornings if necessary to fit around hubby’s work and cover costs. I have worked as a waitress and a cleaner before and would not be too proud to do so again if financially we needed it. If I had been the higher earner we would again have figured it out. But we don’t have to, thankfully, as I would hate to be passing my husband like ships in the night!
I know for some Mums, not working or earning money from an outside source leads them to feeling they aren’t contributing. I guess all I can say is that for me, while I know I am not contributing financially, I am contributing. By raising Monkey and looking after him myself full time, it means we don’t have to pay someone else to do it for us. So it comes full circle. I could be earning money but then it would be going out straight away to cover childcare costs, and what would be the point?
Well, I am sure some women would say that the point is that they love what they do, That they need the intellectual stimulation. That they would rather be at work than at home looking after children all day. I can understand that and again don’t judge any woman for making that decision. And I won’t lie, there are times that being a SAHM can feel monotonous, and it can be exhausting, and lonely. But, I do find the rewards of being a SAHM more than make up for it, for me. Plus there are ways to get that stimulation, to break the monotony, without having to go to work. Blogging for one! 🙂 Or doing any hobby that interests and challenges you.
So what are the rewards of which I speak, well this is where I get really happy. This is where I get to the positives that make me smile and puff up my chest with pride.
Why I love being a SAHM
I know my child better than anyone else. I know how to get him to try something new (even when he is adamantly shouting no). I know his current favourites. Be it phrases, activities, colours. I am the one with him nearly all day everyday and I know how all of his little individual quirks and eccentricities. I was the one who was with him when he said his first word, when he walked for the first time, the first time he counted to ten. No-one else has told me about these developments, I have seen them for myself.
I get to teach him. And take pride when he learns things as a result of the activities we do. I taught him (gradually in a fun, playing is learning way) how to count to ten. We are now working on letters. I am also teaching him about the world, more and more every day. I am teaching him manners, how to treat other people, and how not to.
I’m not saying you don’t get to do these things when you are a working parent but it has to be a bit different when someone else is caring for your child for a significant amount of time. There has to be a level of trust there that they are teaching the same beliefs as you would. That your child doesn’t get away with things with their carer that they wouldn’t with you. For a control freak like me that would be a concern and I like knowing that Monkey is learning what we think is right (we may not get it right all of the time but we are finding our way and it is our way, noone elses).
We have fun and try new things together. One of the ways to break the monotony is by experimenting with new things. doing new things together. This blog is a great motivator for that too as I like to be able to experiment with crafts and activities and talk about them here. Plus there are so many other fab blogs with tonnes of ideas for things to do together! We bake, paint and draw. We build, read and talk. We go on walks and explore the world. I see the world through his eyes.
Even at the moment, at 8 months pregnant and pretty exhausted, I love being with him. I need more help with him at the moment but I miss him when he’s not here, and I love when he comes back. He tests my patience and exasperates me. Some days he drives me potty because he is 2 and can be really irrational and over complicate things. But he is wonderful and funny too. He is kind and loving, methodical and imaginative. He gives the best cuddles and has the most infectious laugh.
I love that I am lucky enough to be the one who sees him at his best, and at his worst. In a couple of years time he will be going off to school and as he gets older he will move slowly but surely further away from his Mummy. He will grow up. I love that I am lucky enough to be able to spend this time with him now. I cherish it.
Just as wanting to go to out to work doesn’t make you any less of a mother, wanting to stay home and raise my children doesn’t make me any less of a person. Any less intelligent or interesting. In a world where so much emphasis is placed on what you ‘do’ and how hard you work, it can be difficult to feel proud of being a SAHM. I sometimes feel that I have to justify to some people why I feel being a SAHM is the best thing for my family and I at the moment. I know I don’t have to, and I very rarely bother. If someone wants to pass judgement then go ahead… but deep down it does bother me. I can’t help it, it just does.
I don’t know whether I will be a SAHM forever, I imagine I will want to work maybe part time when the children are at school, but for now, I love being a SAHM.
Yes to all of this! I can’t believe someone called you a ‘sponger’ for raising your child. Like you, I say each to their own, but it does frustrate me when you are perceived less intelligent or ambitious or interesting as you’ve made the decision to be a SAHM. Great post, very honest x
Thanks Jocelyn, it can be so hard sometimes to feel that people see you as somehow less because you’re a SAHM, and it is difficult to talk about without feeling you are somehow implicitly criticising working mums… which is really never my intention but I wanted to stand up and feel proud of my decision! 🙂 xx
A lovely post – I can see why you love being a SAHM: no one knows a child better than their parents.
Lizzie’s Daily Blog
I think you do an amazing job and no-one could do it quite like you! Sometimes I feel a bit guilty that I don’t get to spend more quality time on my own with EJ. I feel like I’ve got the work/life balance just about perfect for me but still, some days I think EJ is being a bit short-changed, not that he seems too bothered – he’s happy with my mum, my husband and our lovely childminders (for one day a week each). At 2 though, they are just gorgeous aren’t they? And I guess it is a privelege to be able to spend that time together. I’m not sure that I am capable of providing that rounded pre-school education that you seem to be doing. Plus we need the money I bring in even though it is only about half of my full time salary. I also do feel that need to have ‘my own’ money – I know in an ideal world couples feel so entwined emotionally and financially that ‘what’s yours is mine’ but I feel like both me and my husband are quite guarded. We’ve both been married before and I think there will always be that feeling of a need to self-preserve for a rainy day. Or something! Anyway, all that to say, I look up to you for what you both do and love to do – because I know I wouldn’t have felt happy going down that road. X
Thank you Sam for such a lovely comment, I know I don’t always get it right but I am definitely trying my best, and I also know it isn’t for everyone. I guess what I didn’t mention in the post is how lucky I am that hubs and I have the same attitudes about money, we both feel the same way about saving and budgeting and he never makes me feel dependent on him or like I have to ask him before I buy anything (though usually do tell him anyway!). I can understand how previous marriages would make you both feel guarded and would again change the situation and I guess that is kind of my point, everyone makes their decisions based on what is best for them, and this is what is best for us at the moment. Luckily I love it, but then I guess if I didn’t love it, then it wouldn’t be the best thing for us! xx
I gave up work for the same financial reasons and it’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. I hated the thought of being entirely dependant on my husband. It took me a long time to feel comfortable with who I am and what I do. As my life unravels I’m starting to see why it was the best thing I could have done.
I’m so glad you love it as much as you do and I know your child (soon to been children!) will only ever benefit from that passion.
xx
It can be such a huge transition and I can totally understand your feelings, I used to be so independent and proud of it, and there is no denying it is a huge change to suddenly feel dependent on your husband. It definitely takes time but it doesn;t have to be a bad thing! Thank you, I do love it and feel so priveliged to be able to be in this position. xx
I read this last night over dinner and it moved me. I couldn’t agree with you more on so many aspects.
I was talking to a friend of mine a few weeks ago about how much I love being at home with my son (now two and a half). Aside from the obvious reasons that allowed me to stay home (we can live on my husband’s income, I also earn money from home, and childcare is so expensive), I really wanted him to learn English, and I was worried that sending him to Italian daycare so soon would mean he would never pick up on English.
I was going on and on about how it was so great and she said “then why don’t you write about it on your blog) , and the first thing I thought was “I don’t want to offend anyone”. Not everyone has a choice, and staying home isn’t even everyone’s first choice. We are the minority, the excludes from normal society. We “do nothing”, we “play” and we do not earn in the traditional sense.
Now, thankfully I have fully let go of caring about what anyone thinks. This is the most magical time of my life and it is the bst decision I have ever made. I loved your post and applaud you for expressing your personal joy in raising your son.
Thanks Angie, I am so glad you enjoyed reading, and that you feel the same way! It can be so hard to talk about for risk of offending people, and I really hope I haven’t done that as I know it isn’t the right choice for everyone. But for those of us that it is the right choice for, I don’t see why we can’t be proud of that. It is funny how times change and now we are the minority when it used to be that SAHMs were very much the norm! I am glad you are feeling more confident about your decision too! xx
Lovely post my dear, you have adapted so well! Just think the title of your blog questions whether or not you’d be able to do it at all and not only is the answer yes but you do it so well and enjoy it so much xx #allaboutyou
I am in exactly the same position, but left feeling exactly the same way.
I love being at home with my daughter and feel very lucky to have this opportunity.
Sometimes I do feel undervalued though and judged by others.
It seems that since she turned One it has been a question i’m frequently asked, and I feel like I’m having to defend our decision.
Sadly I think Mum’s cannot win, they feel some guilt whatever the decision.
I think you’re right,we all end up feeling guilty. Shame we feel we have to defend our decision all the time though! xx
Yes, yes yes!! Fantastic post. I agree with it all. Well said x
thanks Louisa! xx
You can tell you’re passionate about your decision to be a SAHM, and so you should. It’s the most important job in the world, it doesn’t last forever and if you are lucky enough to be a SAHM it can be the most forfilling job in the world. I have started working part time now that I have one at school and one at nursery, and am so lucky to have a job that pretty much revolves around the children’s school hours. So I see myself as a part time SAHM and it’s a role I wouldn’t give up for the world. At the same time it is frustrating that the outside world judge women who stay at home, devalue them because they don’t have an “office” or “a team” to manage. What they don’t realise is that being a SAHM you have all of that and more looking after the little one, and its role should not be underestimated. Good for you. Enjoy your time, pre-school comes around too quickly!
Thank you, I bet it does! Glad to hear all is working so well for you with a part time job too as I wonder if that may be a similar route I take as they grow, I still want to be around for them as much as possible ideally! xx
I still struggle a bit, I love it but I also need a bit more time off, if that makes sense! I do, like you, feel very lucky that I have the option though x
I know exactly what you meand and I can imagine with 3 it is pretty demanding. We all need some time off for ourselves, whatever job we do!xx
Great post. I to am a SAHM, although on the evenings and nap times I ma trying to start my own business for some spending money but we live solely on my husbands wage and I am lucky, like you, that we can do that. It made no sense for me to go back to work. The childcare costs would have taken all the wages, and I have no grandparents to help out as my parents are in oz. So it made the most sense to. I sometimes feel like I’m judged by friends, and sometimes they have commented that my life is boring, but I love being with him, and at the minute i wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus I am getting my stimulation through blogging and learning about business whilst creating my own. I find it lonely, but thats because I struggle to get out there and meet mums who are in similar positions to me. It’s getting better, but for a short time I found it hard. Not because I didn’t love it, but because I struggled with losing myself. If that makes any sense to you. Anyway, I am embracing my role as a SAHM, and I am proud of what I do. I contribute to our family by making sure baby L is cared for, and I support my husband who has worked so hard to be where he is. I wish some of my friends understood more, maybe they will one day. But for now I’m not interested in their comments. Thanks for writing this, great post and I am sure so many mums will be grateful 🙂
Thank you I am glad you enjoyed reading and feel the same. It can be hard, especially at first and youc an really feel like you have lost yourself, I have found blogging helps a lot with that! It is a shame we get judged but I guess everyone feels judged in some way – we just have to be confident in our decision and proud of what we do and hopefully everyone will come round and see it was the right thing for us! xx
I have already Tweeted you this morning but this is something I feel VERY passionately about and is the main reason i created The Money Shed to help give mums the choice to help bring their children up and bring in money from home that doesn’t involve bloomin direct selling.
I come here as the ‘token’ man and i don’t even have any kids myself but I have seen my sister struggle in this exact same situation and she has now gone to 2 days part time a week so has a bit of a balance from being a SAHM and trying to keep her career alive.
I think you have hit the nail on the head in that there is a MAJOR stigma associated with SAHMs just like there is with ‘working from home’ full time.
Broad shoulders (which is easier said than done some times) and you will stop caring what people say about your lifestyle as in the long run it has nothing to do with them really.
Jon
The Money Shed
Broad shoulders is definitely easier said than done but it is what we need, to be proud of what we do, thank for you supporting SAHMs and WAHMs!x
I think this is beautifully written; you obviously love being at home and that’s wonderful – after all we’re all trying to make the choices that are best for our family and make us fulfilled in life and it’s lovely that you’ve found that, it would be far worse to be forced into a choice that makes you unhappy.
Yeah I think you are right Carie.
It would be a million times worse if you were forced into making a decision one way or another. If you have the freedom to choose to return to work or not for 3/4/5 years than that is up to you and that should be the end of it.
You are absolutely right Carie, and that’s why I don;t judge anyone for their decision to work or otherwise, you can never really know what is behind it and like you say, being forced into a situation you are unhappy with must be so very hard so I know I am very lucky! xx
I really enjoyed this post, it’s so great to hear such a positive attitude about being a SAHM.
Since my eldest daughter was born 7 years ago I have worked full time, part time, been a SAHM and now work with my husband in his business and do some freelance work from home, so I guess I’m half SAHM/half working!
I was 25 when I had my daughter, the first of my friends to have children, they went on to enjoy single, carefree lives with excellent careers (Drs, Solicitors etc), exciting holidays and high salaries. I always felt a twinge of embarrassment in the early years when describing myself as a SAHM, so I pushed myself to work and achieve – running myself into the ground in the process. Baby number 2 came along and something changed, maybe I just matured a bit more, but I stopped caring what other people thought and started focusing on the people who really mattered in all this, my family (and myself).
Ironically the work I do now is considered very successful. My friends lives have all changed too, a couple have a had children and either gone part time or stepped away completely and one of my most ‘high flying’, career minded, friends recently revealed how unhappy her career had made her and shocked us all by stepping down. Proving what we already know really – that you never know what is really going on with other people, we’re all just trying to do our best and be happy.
Thanks for the post! x
Thank you and glad you enjoyed reading. You are so right, you never really know what is going on with other people which is why i try hard not to judge, or to get into a debate with anyone if they judge my decision. We are all just trying to make the best decision for us, and I am just glad that 2 years on I am still so happy with the one we made! xx
Interesting comment on the stigma of SAHM and working from home. I WFH 3 days a week, and am a SAHM the rest of the week. Lots of people remark on how much easier it must be because I don’t go to an office. Logistically it is, but in terms of my own personal wellbeing, it’s not, really. I sit and look at all the stuff I should be doing with/for my daughter when I’m working. I don’t think about work when I’m not working though. I hope your post inspires others to make their own choices, whatever they may be #sharewithme
Again, I completely agree that people think that ‘working from home’ is easy when it is anything but!
I bring in £800-£900 a month, maybe £1000+ some months depending on what I get done. I do work for companies such as
63336 / Bongo / Ollie
Appen
Leapforce
WhatUsersDo
Field Agent/ Roamler etc.
lots of other companies.
It is not easy by any stretch of the mind and it takes a even harder work attitude to find REAL opportunities .
I have written a post all about finding DECENT work from home in the UK that isn’t direct sales or some other mumbo jumbo over on SkintDad this week (It’s on the front page!) and will help Mums bring in money from home while bringing up their little ones.
Maybe if the people making nasty comments about staying home to look after your kids knew how much was involved when you do work from home they would feel differently
As a guy, trust me, it winds me up no end as well.
Jon
The Money Shed
The Number 1 site for home working in the UK
hmm I can imagine working from home may in some ways feel like the best of both worlds, but also be the worst of both worlds as like you say you can see all the other things you would like to be doing! Hope it all works out for you though! xx
I love being a SAHM, too. Even though my kids are in school during the day, I find plenty to keep me busy. There are changing seasons and ups and downs, but overall I consider it a privilege. #sharewithme
Oh that’s good, I’m not sure what I will do when they go to school so interesting to hear you still love it. Nothing is perfect but it’s the overall feeling you get that matters I think! xx
Fantastic post!
With a 5 week old baby, we’re currently going through the whole ‘to go back to work or not’ decision and I think we pretty much have decided that I won’t. I am lucky enough that my sister in law who has a successful business working from home is introducing me into the business, but on the whole I’ll be a SAHM and I’m totally excited for all the experiences and adventures this will bring!! 🙂
Thank you and good luck, it isn;t always easy but it can be amazing! I hope it works out well for you guys! xx
Ahhh what a beautiful post and you do a SAHM so great momma. I love this. I love being a SAHM too. It’s great not to miss the little ordinary moments that are so great too. Like you said no one knows your children better. I can’t imagine having to always leave them behind that would be so hard. I know people have to do it financially and I too am trying to work from home now so I can continue to be with them until they are in school! Beautiful post. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again soon. #sharewithme
Thanks lovely, and you’re right I think it would be so hard to leave them but we all do what we have to do to do the best for our families don’t we! xx
Fab post hun and I am so happy you are glad with your choice! I am a part time Mum working two days as a teacher and I am finding it hard being stuck in this weird limbo where I am not one and I am not the other. I am quite struggling at the moment, especially at work where I am seen as bit of a joke only doing a couple of days. Anyway. Super to see you are happy! xxx
Thanks lovely, I can imagine that must be so hard because you maybe feel you can’t give your all either to work or home. Sounds horrible to be seen as a joke at work too when you are doing your best. I think you do a fab job lovely and there has got to be difficult times whatever decision we make so I hope you find your way out of this tricky patch! take care lovely xx
It sounds like you considered your options carefully and found what works best for you whichis also what will work best for Monkey. Happy parents make happy children 🙂
Exactly, we all have to make what is the right decision for us, and then it will be the right decision for our children 🙂 xx
Raising your child full time is one of the hardest jobs that a woman can do, what a horrible person for calling you a sponger. I know it’ll never be for everyone but you have definitely considered it carefully and well done on you!!
Thank you and it was kind of said jokily but at the smae time I know this person and I know that is pretty much how they feel. Made me feel a little low but in the end I remembered why I am doing it and that it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it. I know it isn’t for everyone, but it is whats right for me, at the moment at least! xx
First of all…..what the hell, someone calling you a sponger?! That’s outrageous, even if it was a joke it’s totally unacceptable!
Secondly yes yes yes!! I love that I’m a stay at home mummy and even though it’s hard….oh man can it be hard, the rewards are delightful!!
Also, 8 months pregnant already eeeeek that’s amazing, not long to go lovely! Xxxx
Thanks lovely, it was a bit of a joke but I know him and I know that is pretty much how he feels. I didn’t want to let it get to me but it did, until I remembered why I love being a SAHM and why it is right for us and then I remembered it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. Yay that you love being a SAHM too, it can be soo hard, but also massively rewarding! Thanks, I know, going sooo fast all of a sudden! xx
It’s awful that we feel we need to justify our lifestyle choices.
I too love being a SAHM, it wasn’t something we initially planned on but things changed at it’s worked out pretty well, if a little stressful at times.
I love how clearly passionate and proud you are about being a SAHM.
Thank you and I am glad it has worked out so well for you. It is a shame but I think we all feel the need to justify ourselves sometimes, whatever decision we make! xx
This echoes everything I feel! I cannot believe someone implied you are a sponger. Although I always get looked at in the same way as I am young (30!) so they assume I must be getting support to stay home- yeh I am- from my husband!!
Great post x
#brillblogposts
Thank you, it’s horrible that that is always the assumption isn’t it? xx
Good for you. I hate all the negativity surrounding SAHMs. I’ve been a working mum, part time working mum, stay at home mum and work from home mum and each role is both challenging and rewarding in its own way. I’d never judge someone else for the way they choose to raise their families! x x
Thank you and that’s exactly it, each choice has its advantages and disadvantages so I don;t think anyone should judge anyone else for whatever decision they make as we are all trying to do what is best for our family at the end of the day!
I read recently about what a luxury it is for husbands to have stay at home mums and it was so well written and right on the money for the benefits it brings families. I work just two days a week ATM with L going to nursery or with my mum on those two days. We live in London and already know that when we have baby no.2 my working wouldn’t be financially viable after childcare costs. It’s something we will have to consider when it comes around. Also it does mean that our weekends are full of fun and family time rather than chores which I can mostly do during the day with L.
#loudandproud
Oh interesting, I would love to read it. That’s often the case I think as childcare can be so expensive and there are definitely benefits to being at home, just as there are benefits to going out to work xx
This is such a lovely post to read (thanks for linking it up to #loudnproud). What I find sad is that we feel the need to justify our decision to either be a WAHM or SAHM but we do. I have written a post on it myself. Why is there even any judgement out there at all about decisions that other people make?! Sounds like both you and your child are totally thriving on the decision you made so well done! x
Thanks Suzanne, I totally agree and I really wish people could just live and let live as it really is nobody else’s business what decision we each make, but it really feels like you have to justify it sometimes! xx
Ah your post just almost made me cry! My son’s almost two, and I feel so privileged to be able to be at home with him. It is so wonderful to be able to be the one to see and help him grow, and I can’t imagine having to leave him with someone else to go to work.
Aww that’s a good reaction! It really is a privilege isn’t it? I love it too and would hate to leave him! xx
Great post and so lovely to hear from a SAH mum, usually posts are about having it all etc. I think we have it all staying with our babies. I heard someone say “I want to raise my child not outsource it” and while I truly believe each to their own, I want to be there whenever my daughter needs me x
Thank you and I agree, there is so much pressure to be the perfect mum while still working and being independent and I guess I just hold my hands up to say that is not for me, and I love being at home with my child. xx
This is a lovely post. I am currently 21 weeks pregnant and considering my options for when baby is born. It is nice to see the good sides of being a stay at home mum and nice to hear from someone who is actually doing it!
Emma | frillsanddoodads.com
thank you and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy, and with making the decision that’s right for you! 🙂 xx
I too am a stay at home mum. People assume we are either rich or getting lots of benefits. It’s neither. But why should we have to justify staying at home in todays society? Everyone has to make the choice once they have children and their choice should be supported and not judged.
I could not agree with you more! xx
I have been a SAHM for 14 months. Then my maternity leave ended and unfortunately I had to be a Working Mom!
Sometime I enjoy it, but most of the time I miss my daughter sooooo much.
In any case, I am thankful I have my work in a such difficult season for our economics.
I am here from Claire Justine’s party and I’ll stay! 🙂
Cheers from Greece!
Wow well 14 months maternity leave must have been lovely. I’m sure you miss your daughter but like you say sometimes you have to be grateful you have work! xx
I do find it ridiculous how some people seem to think that being a SAHM (or a SAHD!) means that you’re somehow a lesser person. I’m always a great subscriber to the principle of walking a mile in someone else’s shoes before being so quick to judge. I take my hat off to anyone with the patience, dedication and love to be a full-time parent – a job-and-a-half in itself!
Thanks Tim, and I am with you, I wish there was less judgement all round to be honest, we all judge ourselves more than enough as it is! xx
Wow, what a great post.
It’s so nice to hear that you love being a SAHM, I think it’s great and it is the right choice or some mummy/families.
I wish that I could be a SAHM until Boo is older (maybe school age) but that’s unfortunately not an option for us currently. I am however only going to be working part time when I return to work next month (something which I am really not looking forward to).
Reading this post has made my even more determined to find a way to hopefully be able to become a SAHM before Boo start school even if it just for her last year.
Thank you and best of luck if that is what you want to do, I hope working part time works for you and yours and that if not you find a way to be a sahm, it’s not always easy but I do love it 🙂 xx
You are doing an amazing job and so many people criticise people who are SAHM without thinking about it properly. It is a BLOODY hard job and I used to find that harder than a day out at work. Each to their own is what I say and it really is no one elses business! Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x
Thanks for the support lovely and I totally agree 🙂 xx
I admire anyone who’s a SAHM full time. I know I couldn’t do it. I’m too selfish as I want to have my own money – my OH and I keep our money separate as he’s self employed and being a farmer I’m not putting mine with his at risk, given mine is the ‘secure’ work, as secure as it can be on a contract.
I do think I’d go spare at home, plus he already expects me to do the housework, make meals on top of working full time (he works 7 days a week so doesn’t think my job is full time! Of course he doesn’t take into account everything at home including looking after N mornings, evenings and weekends.
In an idea world I’d earn similar to what I do now, work 3-4 days a week and be able to see my friends. I feel that most of the time N has the best of both worlds. Me at weekends and evenings where we can do what we want (and afford to), but also the benefits of nursery which thankfully we’ve been lucky with our choices, and they’re led by what he wants to do. The bit I miss is being me – again selfish – I don’t get to see friends as they do family stuff at weekends, and meet up during the week as they all work part time.
But of course as you say, every family is different and it’s what works for them.
I’m glad to hear you have a system that works for all of you, all that matters is that it works for your family and you and your kids are happy. I think it can be difficult seeing friends with kids regardless, and I definitely miss being me too sometimes.. that may just be part of motherhood 🙂 xx
Great post – I think people do look at you in a diff way for being a SAHM, which is sad, as it’s one of the most difficult, yet rewarding jobs there is. Until you’ve done it, you just don’t know how v hard. Good on you for speaking out. x
Thank you and it’s just a shame I sometimes feel I have to justify my decision. It really can be difficult but is so rewarding so I do love it 🙂 xx
Lovely post and you have written it in such a balanced way! I am a SAHM too and whilst I used to feel guilty that I wasn’t out working I now feel so lucky and proud and I get to spend such special moments with my daughter. x
thank you, it is a privelige and we are lucky to have this time but we shouldn’t have to feel guilty about it! xx
Well, I’m just jealous reading this. I would do anything to be a SAHM, unfortunately the extra £100 income per week (after nursery costs) is desperately . Just a big fat shame I have to work 40 hours, plus 3 hours travel a day for it :-(#mummymonday
ah sorry to make you feel jealous, not my intention and must be really hard having to work when you want to be a sahm. xx
Yes!! You put it so eloquently. I love that you say that you find it difficult to feel proud of being a SAHM, I’m still struggling with this one – it’s only been 2 weeks and if people ask me what I do I still feel the need to say that I’m a Midwife but that I’m taking some time out to be with my children. I’ve still not quite got used to the idea of simply saying that I’m a SAHM, for a stupid fear of being judged. We should totally be proud of choosing this path 🙂 x