Making the most of the baby days

Little Miss is quite possibly, in fact, most probably the last baby we will have. I will never say never and I am sure many people will say that now is not the time to make the decision about having more children, but I want to be realistic about it. Both hubs and I are the middle of 3 children, so we both carry a certain nostalgia with us about our families, and we are both very close to all of our brothers and couldn’t imagine our families any other way. So I guess it is inevitable that we have been quite undecided about the number of children we would have.

Despite our nostalgia, we are also quite pragmatic and realistic. 2 kids is that bit easier than 3. Coming from families of 5 we know how much harder it makes fitting in a car (and this was even in the days before huge car seats), going on holiday (hotel rooms for 5 are not so easy or cheap), and even going out for meals, much easier to ind a table for 4 than for 5. Plus there also comes the size of your house. Having 3+ children just costs more.

They are the practical reasons for having 2 kids, and in my days pre-motherhood I only saw these and was adamant I wouldn’t have more than 2. Then we had Monkey and I know hubs would love more kids, so I softened quite a lot. None of the above practical things really matter if you know you want another child. The love and benefits balance out (if not outweigh) the slight inconveniences an axtra child would bring.

So why am I saying Little Miss will probably be our last?

Well it’s no secret that I don’t enjoy being pregnant. While this pregnancy was easier than my first, there is no guarantee that the next won’t be very hard on my body again. I want to get my body back and I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying that. It was worth going through it twice but I don’t know if I want to do that again.

Then there is the fact that I have now had 2 C-Sections and, because of my bicornuate uterus, would very likely need a third. There is a slim chance that I may be able to have a VBaC but it is such a slim chance that it is better to be realistic about the probability of surgery. And in truth I am not sure I want to go through that again either. This surgery took a lot longer than my first and though I am doing fine, and in some ways my recovery is easier (being more mobile during this pregnancy helped as in my first I was so immobile and unfit because of my SPD 1st time round that getting moving again post-surgery was much harder) it hasn’t been fun. However you look at it, a C-Section is major surgery and again maybe it is selfish but I don’t know that I want to put myself through having another surgery.

Plus I guess I want to move on to the next phase. I am looking forward to my children growing up, and doing different things with them. I have this grand idea about saving up to take them some lovely holidays. To show my husband and kids the amazing beauty of some of the places I visited when I was travelling. To go hiking, and kayaking etc. To do this they would need to be of an age where they could appreciate it and I guess I worry that if we were to have another baby then this would be delayed and there is also the fact that we would have a much bigger age gap between oldest and youngest and that may make it more difficult to entertain both oldest and youngest kids at the same time.

That may seem a daft reason to some people and I know we all have different priorities and I guess it matters to me.

Because of all of the above, it does seem likely that we will stop at two. Hubs is happy with this decision too as he knows how hard pregnancy and birth have been on me and wouldn’t want me to do anything I didn’t 100% want to do. Like I say though we will never say never and who knows what the future holds for us but that is what I am thinking about at the moment.

So while I am sleep deprived at the moment, I am also trying to enjoy the baby days as much as possible. They aren’t my favourite time of parenting, I really struggled with Monkey in the first few months, but I am determined not to wish them away. In some ways it is easier this time as I know what to do and what to expect. I also know not to put too much pressure on myself to get in a routine too fast. To not expect to get more than a few hours sleep at a time. To not be able to keep the house spotless.Β I don’t always manage it. When she is screaming and I am tired from the endless rocking and shushing and feeding I am silently wishing these days away. But I am trying not to. I am tryign to enjoy them.

So if sometimes the only way I can get Little Miss to settle is to have her asleep on me while I sit on the sofa, then so be it. The laundry can get done later and the washing up can soak in the sink a little longer. I will try not to look around the tip of a living room as that will make me want to get up and tidy it.

Instead I will sit and I will cuddle my gorgeous baby girl. I will breathe in her smells and watch her eyelids flicker as she dreams. Even if it is 3am and I can barely keep my eyes open I want to enjoy her and her baby-ness as much as I can as she will soon be growing (she is already moving into 0-3mths clothes) and these days wil be over.

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I am making the most of the baby days ( or trying to at least!).

Mama and More
Super Busy Mum

38 thoughts on “Making the most of the baby days

  1. It’s so hard to take it all in and forget about all that needs to be done, but glad you are trying:) we are a few months away from the arrival of baby 3 and like you say the benefits of adding to our family will outweigh the inconvenience s. We are all different and I am so delighted to be having a third but this pregnancy has been so much harder…..

  2. Such a really lovely post to read, I am reading this knowing that the baby in my tummy (now 23 weeks) will be our third and final child and I too will be breathing in those baby smells hoping that he doesn’t grow too fast, it did bring a lump to my throat. life will be tricky with three children but it is right for us and we took a long time to make a final decision about having this third baby. Enjoy your little bundle x

  3. She is very beautiful and I think I would be completely the same with a second baby. I wished the first few months away with Z mainly as I was like a sleep deprived zombie. It was when I started my blog that I started to properly appreciate the tiny little big significant moments. Lovely heartfelt post xx

  4. She is just gorgeous and you are so right, these days go so quickly. Make sure you take some time for you to sleep though and ask for help when you need it, mummies need their sleep too, big hugs x

  5. Lovely post – it is hard sometimes to stop and appreciate those little moments of life with a small baby – the tiredness, sleep deprivation and day to day needs can feel overwhelming at tops. Glad you are able to put the chores out of your mind and stop and enjoy those cuddles x

  6. oh your lovely photo has just made me broody but we are the same whilst I would love a third. The car, the travel the house and having five is just harder in everyway and more costly. You are right to save each and every baby moment and cherish it as it might be your last. That’s what I have done with MM and I am so glad I did. Its hard as each milestone passes I think that’s it I will never breastfeed agian I will never change diapers agian my baby era is ending forever. But there are great things to look forward to too. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

  7. She is just gorgeous! We are with you on the thoughts about going from 2 to 3. Whilst I fancy 3 or 4 children, the reality is that we find it bloody hard work, and I don’t know now if I could go back to the baby stage. I’m also looking forward to moving forward and enjoying more activities and travel as a family- with a new baby this would be a lot harder! The cost, housing etc is also a big factor. #sharewithme

  8. Aw Caroline she is so gorgeous! I am completely with you on the reasons for stopping at two – and throw into the mix that I’m already in my forties and all those lovely adventures and holidays and experiences with older children would have to wait til I am just that little bit more decrepit ;-). It is difficult not to wish it away when the sleep deprivation and screaming is going on but I admire you for making this your goal because in years to come we will look at the pictures and forget all the bad bits! Xxx #sharewithme

  9. A lovely post and very poignant for me as tomorrow I am going in for my second section and I have also said this will be my last for some of the very same reasons you have written about. I don’t think I can do the pregnancy thing again but adoption is something we will definitely explore when the time is right.
    So I too will be enjoying and clinging onto every precious moment this next little treasure brings us xx

  10. Grace & Lucas say – Well we can’t really comment on the baby thing cox we’re too young (and it’s ruuuuuudde) but we think Little Miss is gorgeous and we definitely think you should enjoy the baby days as soon she’ll be as big as Monkey and then it get REALLY fun!!! #sharewithme

  11. I hate that I wished so much of the baby stage away.

    I would endure 7:20 on Monday morning until 4:10 on Friday night and lived for the weekends when Andrew was off.

    But now I can’t believe I was so stupid! I would KILL to be back there again.

    Maybe I’ll get a chance to do it again?


  12. This is so lovely, and I’m with you on letting the washing like grow and leave the dishes in the sink. I spent hours when O was little just holding him on my chest and they will always be remembered as some of the most precious times of my life.

  13. Our second is our last and knowing this does make you savour it more. One for each hand! I do wonder what people are going to ask now, I mean first it’s “when are you getting married?”, then “when are you having a baby?” then “when’s the next one coming?”. What’s next?!

  14. I am Mummy’s fourth and definitely last baby. There are 16 years between me and my biggest sister, and 10 years between me and my youngest brother. Mummy says I have completed our family πŸ˜€ I am very loved, very happy and have lots of carers! Mummy cherishes EVERY second with me. Enjoy your lovely baby x x #BrilliantBlogPosts

  15. A lovely post, and it’s immediately obvious from the way you write just how much love you have for your kids. We said no more than two. Then we decided to try for a third. Then a fourth. Then, as I like to tell people, we got a TV in the bedroom and stopped having kids lol. You make some salient points about having just two though! Thanks for linking up again #FamilyFriday

  16. It is hard to sit and relax, especially when there is stuff to do. But when they are this little and so very much dependent on you it is hard to get 5 minutes to yourself. You need to enjoy them or you will drive yourself crazy!

    Enjoy those baby days, I sure miss mine!

  17. It’s so important but sometimes so hard to remember to make the most of those moments! I’ve just got the one at the moment and it’s gone so fast. Fingers crossed I get to through it all again in a couple of years πŸ™‚

  18. Gorgeous pictures πŸ™‚ I could have written this! I don’t do pregnancy well (spd too) but tried to enjoy my second as much as possible as I knew it was going to be my last. I’m doing the same with these baby days. They can be tough, especially with a 3 year old too, but I’m soaking it all in as, this time next year, I’ll be looking back nostalgically and it will all have passed. I’m looking forward to family times to come but this is my last baby (probably!) and that’s a precious thing πŸ™‚ #sundayroundup

  19. yes enjoy all the babyness it is a lovely time. Although I find you are too tired to really enjoy it. I have 3 and we are about to have car seat issues my poor 8 year old is stuck in the middle unable to move! Im never going to say never as I am sure in a few years i will forget what a toddler is like and do it all over again.

    Thanks for linking to #sundayroundup

  20. I so enjoyed reading this. Such an honest post and I related to it completely. I am stopping at two for pretty much all of the same reasons. I cannot rule out a third as I never say never but yep, Baby L will most probably be my last.
    We can both breathe in those baby smells and take extra photos to help us remember these early days.

  21. Oh love, so much going on in your head at the mo and I remember it well! I remember being desperate to have a few moments to myself to read, blog, tidy up a bit…and the more you’re sitting with a sleeping baby, the more time you have to think about all the things you could be doing. But you’re so right to focus on the cuddles and try to relax. You need time to recover too and being sleep deprived doesn’t help. But seriously, get yourself a good box set and settle in – this is the only time you have a proper excuse for it πŸ™‚ Sending much love and relaxing vibes xxx

    thanks for linking up to #AllAboutyou xx

  22. I echo many things you’re currently going through and thinking. I have two daughters and I knew that my second would most likely be my last – for all the reasons you mentioned (both practically and personally). However, my baby is now two and I’m now starting to wonder if maybe we could go through it all one more time? Enjoy every moment of your new born – I know I did and I have no regrets! They grow so quickly.

    Thanks for linking up #SundayStars xx

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  24. I have three little girls and I’ve got to say it is tough with this odd number I’m often squidged in the back seat between 2 car seats! enjoy the baby days they do go far to quickly! thanks for linking up #sundaystars

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