A swimming breakthrough

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I love swimming, always have done. My mum always used to call me a water baby as I just adore being in the water and though never the most graceful person in water or out I do consider myself to be quite a strong swimmer. Hubs on the other hand isn’t such a strong swimmer. He can swim and does enjoy it but I guess isn’t quite as confident as I am at being out of his depth for example. I think and have always thought that swimming is a hugely important life skill and I want the kids to be strong swimmers too.

One of the times Monkey has actually enjoyed swimming

Because of this we have tried numerous times in Monkey’s little life to encourage him to enjoy swimming, with varying degrees of, well, failure. We have been just with us and he has clung on for dear life the whole time. We have tried classes which involved jumping in and going underwater along with just having fun but he spent nearly all of the sessions screaming his head off until eventually we stopped taking him as it was stressing hubs out so much and ruining a large chunk of the weekend. There has been the odd occasion where he seems to have enjoyed swimming but then it generally goes back to screaming again the next time.

The last time we tried was on our holiday last year where after finding the water cold once, he point blank refused to get in for the remainder of the holiday and made a holiday by the pool very difficult indeed.

Now, LM adores water I thik she would be happy splashing around in water all day if she could, she just adores it, so I have been thinking it was time to get her swimming, and I do think she would love classes. But, Mummy guilt stepped in and i just knew I couldn’t start her swimming without addressing Monkey’s swimming fear. He starts school in September, and though I have no idea when they start swimming with school, the last thing I want is for him to be having a screaming meltdown at the side of the pool and refusing to get in when that time does come.

On holiday last year, it was after this that Monkey refused to get in the pool

So after chats with hubs we decided to try to go back to basics and just make going swimming the four of us a regular thing. We chose an infants pool that we know is really warm as the temperature of the pool on holiday was such a huge issue for him. I was half looking forward to it and half dreading how stressful it would be. We headed off bright and early Sunday morning and to be honest just getting out of the door was stressful and I did wonder more than once why on earth we were doing it to ourselves. I hid this though and Hubs and I agreed to having very low expectationsas he would probably not get in the water at all.

Straight off, LM adored the water. she was kicking her legs and splashing her arms in a way Monkey just never did as he would always cling to us so tightly. She loved sitting on the side and “jumping” herself in to the water where one of us caught her. She was happy to be dipped underwater and didn’t cry once. In short she just adored every minute.

LM adoring the water on our holiday last year

To start with, Monkey did as expected and sat on the ledge near the pool. We did persuade him to dip his fingers in and see it was warm but for a while he was adamant he did not want to get in, despite laughing and clearly enjoying watching other children having fun in the water. This is the point where often peer pressure gets the better of us. You can see the other parents looking and wondering what you are doing, and it is so tempting to just grab him and get him in the water… but we know from experience that this is not the way to do things with Monkey and that he has to decided to do it in his own time.

We could see he was tempted but still not sure so hubs said that if he got in and tried it that we could go to a cafe fr hot chocolate afterwards. Monkey loves a visit to a cafe, but is stubborn enough that he would say no if he really didn’t want to do something. But, he said yes, and he got in. And he did amazingly well. To start with he clung on for dear life but gradually relaxed a little. We managed to get him to kick his legs while we whizzed him round and that was brilliant and I daren’t hope for more.

Then when he realised that he could stand on the floor of the pool he ventured away from our supporting arms. He was having great fun walking slowly in the water, pretending to be a spaceman! Things just got better and better when he agreed to hold his arm bands and eventually let me put them on him. In nearly 4 years we have not managed to get armbands on him due to the screaming meltdown any attempt has resulted in. I was also completly amazed when he copied his baby sister by sitting on the edge of the pool and jumping in to where daddy could catch him. Absolutely incredible and we were so proud of him.

In the end he could not stop telling us how much he loved swimming and how “swimming is my favourite!” and he did not want to get out. Hubs and I exchanged incredulous looks more than once and just couldn’t believe how far he had exceeded our expectations.

Now, because I know how contrary he can be I am still wary to say this is it and he now likes swimming, but things are looking positive. We couldn’t go the following weekend as we were away but are going to try and go as many weekends as possible to just cement this and help him to love swimming as much as his sister clearly does naturally.

Hooray and here’s hoping to lots more fun swimming as a family!

Siblings March 2016

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I love watching my funny pair and seeing their relationship grow. They get on so well (for the most part) and have a lot of fun together. They obviously have their moments of irritating each other where LM screams at Monkey or he shouts at her and tells her off. But the fun times are more frequent.

On a rainy morning last week I set them up playing with lentils in the tuff spot. They started off playing happily side by side, then after a reminder from Mummy to Monkey that he needed to share the bowl of lentils, played together a bit.

Then things got a bit chaotic, in the best way. I think LM started it but I wasn’t watching at that moment so I am not sure. What I did see though was Monkey pouring lentils on LM’s head. Then her tipping some on his head. Then this happened. Just lovely and thankfully they are both so tolerant of each other as they were having so much fun!

On another occasion, sat on the sofa watching TV, LM decided they weren’t quite close enough so started clambering onto her brother. He retaliated by holding a funnel on her head. As you do. She got annoyed and wanted off… at which point he clung onto her saying he wanted to cuddle her (awww) but she was not happy about that. It was getting a bit silly (not in a good way) so I separated them a little. LM hadn’t quite had enough though so carried on sticking her legs on him… at which point Monkey decided to go with it and started “fixing” her foot with the funnel. And she was completely tolerant of that. Random kiddies.

Monkey has a thing at the moment where he likes wrapping himself in a blanket on the floor and being a caterpillar. LM loves it when he does this as she loves climbing on him haha.

They really care about each other a lot too. LM has hated seeing Monkey unhappy and poorly with chicken pox last week and every time he cried she ran over with a very concerned expression to see if he was OK. And for his part, when I bring her down from her nap he greets her with “hello my darling, did you have a lovely sleep?” What a cutie.

There is so much I could say about this lovely pair’s relationship, so instead, here are some more snapshots of them together over the past month.

Siblings February 2016

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Wow how are we in the middle of February already? This year is already whizzing by and I have a feeling that won’t change.

My gorgeous pair are growing and developing all the time and their relationship is growing and changing with them. I just love to see them together, it makes all the tricky times that come with having 2 children so worth it.

I love watching them play together, sometimes just side by side but other times helping each other, or copying each other. They just love to be around each other.

And Monkey has some seriously tender moments with his baby sister where he just announces how much he loves her and bowls her over with a giant cuddle!

For her part she just loves messing with her big brother. Difficult to catch on camera but she just comes up to him and starts messing with his hair. Or she lies with her feet on him kicking him. Or she runs up to give him something then snatches it back and runs away laughing. Such a cheeky madam and for the most part Monkey is so good and so accommodating of her cheekiness towards her.

Hubs managed to catch a video of this last weekend while I was away. It isn’t amazing quality as it was very early morning so quite dark, and post breakfast so they are still in their pjs. Proof that they did manage to have some nice times together while I was away though 😉 and a very good example of LM messing with her big brother, and him being amazingly tolerant of it. The toy she has is his doggy bear, his one special toy, and as a sign of how much he loves her he often says she can share him. Bless.

Of course there are plenty of squabbles and snatching of toys at times too. Monkey takes something from her and refuses to give it back no matter how much she screams and she does the same to him. He barges past her and knocks her over without realising she is there and doesn’t know his own strength and leaps on her when we are messing around. Sometimes, because he is the big brother and because he is so tall for his age, it is too easy to expect him not to do these things. But we have to remind ourselves that he isn’t even 4 yet. To not expect too much of him.

So instead we focus on the lovely moments, as they are far more frequent.

Learning to draw at 15mths and 3 3/4

Posted by Caroline Elliott

My word of the week this week has to be drawing, as both kiddies are making leaps and bounds with their drawing abilities at the moment.

LM has well and truly discovered drawing now and would love to be doing it all day every day at the moment. I have held back from letting her have crayons for a while (for fear of her eating them) and she has amazed me with the magna doodle things. Then lately we got a couple of crayons out and she was in her element.

She does pop them in her mouth from time to time but is gradually learning not to I think. She loves it though and often takes herself off to the little table in the conservatory and sits swinging her legs. She has fallen a couple of times bless her but she just wants to get right back up.

She doesn’t distinguish that much between paper and table though and I have to control my feelings about this and remind myself that it doesn’t matter if she draws on this table. I am still trying to keep the crayons contained though as I really don’t want find her drawing on a wall or sofa one day! So it was lovely at the weekend when we got out in the garden with the pavement chalks as I could really leave her to do as she pleased. Again it ended up in her mouth once or twice but only very briefly and on the whole she was absolutely loving drawing on the pavement.

Monkey was loving it too and it was lovely seeing them do it together.

His drawing is coming on leaps and bounds lately too. There is still a lot scribbling going on but they are usually something, at least in his mind, and are often roads. I was dead impressed a few days ago though when I was doodling while they were drawing and drew a tree with some grass by a river… And Monkey copied me! He did so well and it was lovely to see him create an actual picture of something.

He’s also coming on really well with his writing. He has been writing his name for some time now but it has definitely improved and then the other day he wanted to draw numbers so he was again copying what I did, and did such a brilliant job! I was so proud of him! (excuse the bag of clothes in the background ready to go to the chairty shop!) Of course some aren’t perfect but who cares, what a brilliant effort, such a clever Monkey :).So as you can see there has been a lot of drawing going on in our house. Do your kids love to draw?

Monkey Says at 3 1/2

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Our little boy is growing up so much all the time and his language skills are growing with him. Pretty incredible when I think he was a little delayed and had no speech at age 2! He now gives everything a good go and even copied “echocardiogram” from Get Well Soon on Cbeebies the other day! He also comes out with some real gems at times too. Some that make me cringe and others that make me laugh out loud. So here are some of the Monkey’s top sayings recently.

“That’s my favourite.” Everything is his favourite. From people to food to things. The Dr is his favourite. His dinner is his favourite. Even his poo has been his favourite (I’m not kidding sadly). It’s actually very endearing when he says “I love Daddy, he’s my favourite” and when he calls LM “my favourite sister.” He also has a couple of children at playgroup who are his favourite too and it is so lovely to hear he is building relationships with other children.

Another endearing one is when he strokes his Daddy’s arm and says “You’ll be OK.” Generally absolutely nothing had happened and Daddy is perfectly happy…. but it is very cute nonetheless!

Less cute is when he copies us and shouts at LM to stop or yells at her that she is naughty. Nothing makes you think about the words coming out of your mouth more than hearing those words come out of a 3yr old’s mouth! That also includes him copying “oh for god’s sake” (we are trying to turn this into for goodness sake) and worst of all copying Daddy when he described a relative as “big fat …” I was less than impressed with that one and thank goodness he hasn’t said it to the person!!

He really likes making up random words at the moment too. Some are quite amusing, “binky banky” for example, some strangely accurate as when he described a car park as danky when yes, actually it was a bit dank. You can probably get there is a theme here and yes he did go through a stage of proclaiming everything was “winky wanky” which I was less than enamoured with! Thankfully we have persuaded him that is a bit of a silly thing to say!!

His imagination is wonderful now, and when he is playing cars or doing car painting he is very often using one to chase another, saying “I’m coming to get you” followed by the other car saying “aaaaaaaaahhh” hehe. You may have seen recently that he loves dressing up as a super hero and he really is so cute – running around saying he is “coming to the rescue!” and once he has rescued something (for example he did a great job of rescuing a welly the other day haha) it is “mission accomrished” with two thumbs up, so a bit of a superhero/postman pat SDS combination!

Mission Accomrished!

He is really inquisitive about the world around him, asking “where do trees come from?” and “what are planes made of?” He wants to know everything and he loves spotting things, the moon being the most recurrent especially at this time of year. We can be in the car and he will suddenly be yelling “look Daddy look it’s the moon!!” and of course we have to reply (as with whenever he tells us anything) or he will just keep repeating it tirelessly until he gets the answer he is looking for! He also thinks every conversation is aimed at him and answers any question he hears, not just those directed at him. So I can be talking to LM or Daddy or someone else and he will answer. He adores Show Me Show Me on the tv (one of my fave progs for the kids) and always answers when Chris and Pui ask questions. The other day he ran over and said “Chris asked me if I like shopping and I told him I did” and was so proud of himself.

A cut? Or Jam???

We love the way he tries to find the language to describe something. For example he had a bit of a sore throat on the weekend and when he had some of Daddy’s warm tea he proclaimed “That was lovely! That made my throat feel not all gone” so cute. Other examples are “I’m getting all filled (full)” “that’s a bit splatty” (paint). During a snuggle on the sofa he decided I have “a lovely cosy bottom” and once when I was getting dressed “that’s a lovely nippley boobie.” Errr, ok, thanks Monkey haha.

After falling tooth-first onto my forhead at the weekend giving me a lovely cut, lump and bruise, Monkey looked at me and said “you’re all cut. It looks a bit like Jam.” Well yes, I suppose it does, a bit!

Now for the funnies. We were watching Toy Story 2 the other day and when the man came to mend Woody’s arm, Monkey decided the needle and thread was a hooker. “Look he’s get a hooker. He loves hookers. I love hookers too, they’re my favourite!” I really wasn’t that sure what to say to that to be honest hehe. Then at lunch one day he randomly piped up “Mummy and Daddy do you like licking each other?” errrrrrr not sure what to say or where that came from.

my cheeky Monkey 🙂

Finally, this morning he was on the receiving end of a few stern words from Daddy about the fact that he had done a wee in his pants (he seems to have regressed a little lately which is annoying with more incidents than usual) and he was being really good and listening, and then he suddenly announced “But cats don’t like bananas.” I have to admit I laughed out loud in the next room, I mean where did that come from? Funny Monkey!

Little Miss is 1!

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Wowee! Here we are at the end of our Little Miss’ first year of life! In the early days the weeks seemed to last forever but in reality the past year has absolutely flown by. We have all come such a long way in the past year and no-one more so than the little lady herself. From a teeny wee thing who struggled so badly with colic, temporary lactose intolerance and reflux… to our beaming, happy, gorgeous little toddler.

I honestly just adore her 100% and she is such a Mummy’s girl which is lovely but obviously a tad infuriating at times when she does not want me to move from her side. I do feel for Daddy too when she is writhing out of his arms to try and get to me. Thankfully though this isn’t all the time and she is a generally a smily happy girl, she is so sociable, she loves people and is just a quite contented little thing really.

The last month has seen her take the huge leap from baby to fully fledged toddler as she now walks everywhere and I have to admit I love it. At home she is constantly pottering about finding things to inspect and she loves running and throwing herself onto the beanbag, which is hilarious.

Unfortunately it also means a lot of falling over so she constantly has bruises and scratches on her face from face-planting the floor or a piece of furniture poor thing. I also have to keep a close eye on her as she likes picking things up and putting them in her mouth. At home it isn’t too bad (though she has a penchant for crayons at the moment, joy) but out and about is a nightmare and I am constantly saying no and running when I see a fistful of mud or stones heading to her mouth. Sadly I don’t spot it in time every time, so try to convince myself that a little mud never killed anyone! She also likes to find manky puddles of water, splash her hands in them then put her fingers in her mouth… noooo!

She does understand “no” but rarely obeys and generally gives a huge cheeky grin and shakes her head before carrying on what she was.doing… grrr! There are other times when she does listen but they are few and far between… so I sound like a bit of a stuck record but I know repetition is all I can do at the moment, that and picking her up and moving her away from dangerous things such as radiators or the oven!

In terms of food she is still really good for the most part but there are signs of fussiness showing…. sadly BLW hasn’t completely staved this off… she definitely doesn’t like broccoli anymore and I don’t think she is too keen on potato. But even though her Daddy adores potato I have never been a huge fan of potato so maybe it is hereditary? Who knows, we shall see how this progresses though and we don’t have any of the problems we had with her brother as she scoffs curry and anything with pasta and she adores fruit which is great. She also eats a ridiculous amount – easily an adult portion at mealtimes and WAY more than her big brother eats. I have no idea where she puts it all!

She is also a very different baby to her brother in terms of routine. Whereas he was in a fab routine from 4 months and then was always so much happier in a routine, she is so different. We struggled massively to ever get her to settle in a routine for more than a few days at a time, BUT, and here’s the thing, now she is much more flexible which is actually handy. She now is best when she has one nap in the afternoon. She has a long sleep, is happier and sleeps in later the next morning (till nearly 7am, wahoo!). But on days when we are in the car a lot she sometimes dozes off in the morning then either doesn’t nap in the afternoon or has a shorter sleep. And do you know what? She is still fine. She wakes up earlier the next morning (between 530-6) but is still pretty contended on it so I really can’t complain. Monkey was always a nightmare if you shifted his routine even slightly so it is a nice change and a relief after the struggles of trying to get her to settle in a routine all year!

Now that she is awake more though we are getting out and about a bit more too. I take her to tumbletots on a Monday morning when Monkey is at playgroup, which she loves. She loves the other people most of all I think but also has a lot of fun exploring all of the equipment. Then on a Tuesday my parents take her to rhyme time at the local library while Monkey and I have a Mummy and Monkey morning. Apparently she loves going and is getting more and more confident as the weeks go by, which is lovely. I hope it will also do her good to be away from me for a little while every week too. She adores her Nanny & Pops and is very comfortable being with them and they love having her which is great.

She has always been an incredibly loud baby and she knows how to make her feelings well and truly known. We are very much getting a lot of whining and she makes the Marge Simpson noise when she wants something (you know, closed mouth, mmmmmgrh hehe). We do also have the start of words too which is really lovely. She occasionally makes an almost “tickle tickle” sound – much more joined together and unclear, but she has also been known to accompany this with grabbing Monkey in a tickly way… and obviously we say it a lot to both of them so we think she is trying to copy us. She also definitely says “uh oh” and copies us whenever we say it (and hubs now says it a LOT to make her say it) and whenever she drops something, which is massively adorable!! I feel like I am constantly comparing her to her big brother but I can’t help it as this is another way she is very different to him as he didn’t say his first word until he was 2!

So there we have it, our gorgeous little lady as she approaches her first birthday! I love the determined happy little person she is growing into and am looking forward to what the next year will bring.

LM’s first steps at 10 mths

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Yep our little lady is walking! She has been walking holding on to our hands for a while and has clearly been desperate to walk… and now she has started. She took a couple of steps a few days ago to a bed upstairs but it was sort of a “did she?” moment between Daddy and I. Then this weekend she has really been going for it.

She walked to me first and then spent ages getting way too excited about her achievement and throwing herself forwards instead, lol! Then she took a couple of steps to Daddy, then to her Uncle Simon and then she was on a roll. If we try and stand her up she doesn’t get her balance right and she just flies as she tries to run rather than walk. But if she stand herself up and gets her balance she can do it. Here is a little clip of her (you may have seen some of it on social media) during her first attempts.

The most she has managed so far is 6 steps but I know that this will soon be expanding. I have just been reading back to when Monkey really took off walking at 11 months. It was April 27th, 2013 when I wrote that he was starting to walk, then on May 14th 2013 that I said he was walking pretty independently (I love having this record of the kiddies!) So I know this really is the start of toddlerdom.

It is qute a bitter sweet moment really. I am so proud of her and am looking forward to all of the fun that toddlerhood brings… but I am a tiny bit sad too. We have decided to not to have any more babies… for many, many reasons and I am 100% happy with that. But this means she is our last baby, and walking means she’s not really a baby anymore… she is becoming a toddler.

So I am drinking in her gorgeous, perfect, chubby baby thighs, and loving watching her little botty wobble as she crawls across the floor and trying to enjoy and memorise every moment.

Little Miss at 10 months

Posted by Caroline Elliott

LM 10 mths old Our little lady is 10 months old and boy is her development just whizzing now. She seems to master a new skill every couple of days at the most and is growing up in front of our eyes with her little personality blossoming too.

As always I just think she is so gorge!

So, what is she up to? Well in my last post about her I said how she was starting to crawl, and well now she is seriously crawling! Although she would still prefer to try and walk she will crawl to get where she wants to go. Monkey wasn’t a crawler at all so I do love having a crawly baby – though I do feel like I need to have eyes in the back of my head as she can really go some distance.

I also need to have eyes in the back of my head as she has now well and truly mastered the pulling herself up on, oh, just about anything she can grab.

Combined with the crawling and we find her in some interesting positions. Including trying desperately to grab my laptop (which she adores bashing)…

I have actually just moved my laptop out of reach here as she was already grabbing the side of the screen when I found her and legged it over. I have previously found her fallen forward onto the toy box having half pulled the laptop off the table. I really should find a new home for it I think!!

Another day, after playing with banging some bowls and tins I nipped off and came back to find her climbing on one of the bowls… cheeky madam.

Then Daddy sent me this shot when I was having some time “off” with a friend. He was helping Monkey use the loo and came back to find the madam in the kitchen playing with hoover and brush… start them cleaning young eh? 🙂

So she is everywhere getting into everything now, aaargh! Though I do love it when I find she has pottered off somewhere and is investigating a toy box or examining a book or something. We do have to be very careful about what is within reach though!

She is so controlled now at not only getting up but also gently lowering herself back down to the floor…. that is unless she wants to practice her latest skill which is standing unaided. She only started that this week but she is getting so so stable now and honestly she is so proud of herself! She can spend ages pulling herself up, standing with no hands, falling on her bottom and repeating, all with a huge grin on her face. So cute 🙂

There has been some nasty face-plants though so she had a teeny cut on her lip and a bruise on her forehead poor thing. Feels horrible to not quite catch her in time but I guess she has to learn and she is definitely getting better at falling backwards rather than forwards now!

She now has 7 teeth (love her toothy grin) so we have started the teeth cleaning routine. She hated it at first but after a couple of days she got used to it and is now really good at having her teeth cleaned. We made up a little teeth clean song when Monkey was little which we now sing to both of them which I think does help.

We need to clean her teeth though now as she eats basically what we eat all of the time and I am so pleased to say that at the moment there is very little she doesn’t like, and she adores fruit, unlike her fussy big brother. Her breakfast every morning is strawberries and blueberries and maybe some mini shredded wheats or something similar and she tucks in like mad. Mealtimes are such a messy affair though so I am constantly washing all in one bibs and scrubbing the highchair and floor to get all of the crumbs, rice, bits of fruit, etc. Let me tell you standing barefoot on a half eaten blueberry is not a nice feeling!!

I think her reflux is improving (touch wood, fingers crossed, etc, etc.) We have been giving her ranitidine religously since her last flare up and she has been fine… but as we were running out we thought before getting more from the drs that it was worth seeing how she got on without it for a few days. It has been a few days and so far so good so we will see how she gets on over the next week or so. We do have a little left still if we need it but it would be nice if we don’t need to medicate her really!

Her sleep has been all over the place lately and I think it may just be because of all the development and the fact she just wants to crawl and climb and stand constantly. She is such a fidget pants that I think she really struggles to calm down at nap time. I had about a week of her only napping once a day and was convinced she was dropping a nap… but then we had a terrible terrible night on Thursday with her screaming constantly, which is very unlike her as she has always slept well at bedtime. It took hubs well over an hour of singing and rocking her to sleep before she would stop fidgeting and waking herself up. Since then she has been a bit more normal with naps, still a bit fussy but she is napping better. So we shall see what happens this week I think!

What else is she up to? She now waves a little and it is so cute though she seems a bit surprised by what her hand is doing! Another little development is that she is really aware of people now. She very much wants Mummy all the time and if someone else is walking her round then she will make a beeline for me. But she also gets upset when other people leave. She balls if we stand and watch Daddy leave in the morning, and when Nanny & Pops took monkey out she did the same! So cute bless her she just wants to be involved with whats going on and clearly doesn’t want to be left behind!

Other firsts this month have been her first ride in the supermarket trolley – which she adores and it does make life easier in the supermarket not having to hold a basket and push a buggy – and her first proper shoes! Now she is standing and walking so much whenever we go anywhere I thought it was time for some proper supportive cruiser shoes rather than just pretty flimsy ones. She has been barefoot most of the summer as she hates wearing shoes and tends to kick them off (we have lots of single shoes now as she manages to kick them off without me noticing and I can never find them again!!) but she is going to have to get used to it and her new ones are at least a little harder to kick off.

She is such a smily, happy little lady in general and is a joy to be around. She adores playing peepo, going on the swing, being tickled and loves watching her brother laugh – just seeing him chuckle is enough to give her the giggles. She melts our hearts every day with her gorgeous smile and the way she beams at us when she is happy. She can of course be hard work but she really is so lovely and I love watching her grow into a little person.

This year is going very very fast all of a sudden!

Potty Training at Age 3

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Conventional wisdom seems to be that when it comes to potty training you should wait until your child is ‘ready’ to do it. Yet despite this I think a lot of us still feel under immense pressure to do it as early as possible. Yes we want to get rid of the cost and faff of nappies but more than that I think a lot of us feel like we aren’t doing a very good job if we still have a child in nappies at age 3 or older. This may be because of ‘helpful’ comments from others or a feeling of competition with friends children who were potty trained by age 2. Whatever the cause, we put pressure on ourselves to do it early, we don’t trust our intincts and we rush into it.

Numerous friends of ours with older children have warned us of this and have time and again reiterated the “don’t do what I did, wait until they are ready” mantra. Of course some children are ready at age 2, all children are different after all, but some aren’t and that is the point and it really has to be about the child.

So with the very helpful advice ringing in our ears, we have waited. It hasn’t been easy and we did try too early. With comments such as “it’s about time he was potty trained” and the pressure of starting playgroup in January we decided to try to potty train Monkey then, when he was. And we failed. After 15 accidents in 3 hours it was clear he just wasn’t getting it bless him. He was clearly trying and was sat on the toilet for ages with nothing happening then as soon as the pants were back on he would go in his pants. With a tiny baby and constant mess we were stressed and he was stressed and we called time. Maybe people will say we gave up too easily but we knew it wasn’t right and for once we actually trusted our instincts and decided to relax about the whole thing.

I set a new vague goal in my mind of the summer (with ideas of running around naked in the garden and not having to worry about toilet training while at playgroup) and we took a new approach. I know people say that you should have potties around to get them used to them and we had done that but to be honest they were just gathering dust as Monkey was completely uninterested in them. We knew we needed to think about Monkey, rather than just general advice, and tailor our approach to him.

Monkey’s biggest problem in fact was that actually he didn’t like his privates. He didn’t like looking at them or touching them or us touching them. In many ways it is good as we know that he would never like anyone else touching his privates but he would get so upset if we went near them. So our starting point was helping him accept they were normal. I’m not sure why he felt like that but we started getting him to wipe his privates at nappy changes and Daddy spent a bit more time naked and talking about his bits to try and get Monkey to relax and realise thet are just another part of his body and totally normal.

Gradually he relaxed about this a little bit, and for a long time we had been talking to him about going to the toilet like a big boy and we continued with that. He started to hate nappy changes, especially pooey ones so we kept reiterating how much better it was to use the big boy toilet and kept asking him if he would like to use the toilet. His answer was always his singsong “nofankyouuuu” until one day at bathy time he stood looking at the bath and said to Daddy “I don’t want to do a wee in the bathy” and when Daddy immediately asked if he would like to do a wee wee on the toilet, he said yes. Daddy popped him on the toilet (we have a cute seat with steps) and he did it! Well done Monkey!!

The next day after playing out in the paddling pool, I let him roam about naked for a bit afterwards and asked if he would like to do a wee on the “wee bush” (a random bush we have picked for wees, apparently hubs and his brothers had one when they were learning) or go in the potty. He tried on the bush but nothing happened then sat on the potty and did a wee and a poo! (He is going to hate reading this when he is older!) Aah big surprise and cue Mummy feeling really proud (and wondering what to do with a pooey potty for the first time lol).

From then on he used the toilet every night before bathy for wees and poos and sometimes the potty during the day. But with still going to playgroup twice a week and a holiday with a long car journey coming up we held back and didn’t rush.

When we got back from our holiday and could spend a good few days pottering about at home (and just taking short walks nearby to get out of the house) it was no nappies day. Monkey knew it was coming and was excited to wear pants. He was now 3 yrs 2 months. And you know what, he was ready and it has actually been really, really easy.

He had 3 accidents on day 1 and another 3 on day 2 but had far, far more successes. We started taking him to the toilet more often and on day 3 we had no accidents and no more for the next few days. He was even dry at naptime and bedtime for a couple of days and we were just shocked but also massively relieved by how well it was going! There was a few strops about the frequency of toilet trips and I realised that actually he can hold it for quite a long time and that I have to trust him to know when he needs to go.

This has led to a few more accidents, mostly tiny drips in his pants when he realises he needs to go, and one big accident. Which is fine as he needs to learn and it is still very early days really! One of the key things for us though has been saying that accidents aren’t a good thing, without admonishing him. I have read that you shouldn’t say “ah that’s ok” or “never mind” as that gives mixed messages. So we try and say “oh dear, that’s a bit yucky, wee goes in the toilet not in your pants, doesn’t it?” So we don’t tell him off but don’t say it’s ok, if that makes sense? We also give him tonnes of praise for going to the toilet as we know that is a big motivator for him.

I’m no expert on child rearing and have only potty trained one child but here are my tips for smooth potty training:

Wait until they are ready and encourage them and talk to them about it but let them take the lead.
Don’t give into pressure from others (and yourself) and trust your intincts about when they are ready, and when you are ready to give it your proper attention.
Tailor your approach to your child. Do they like reward charts? Then use them. Is praise enough of a motivator? Then just use that. You know your child better than anyone so you will work out the best way to motivate them to potty train.
When they have accidents (because they will) don’t tell them off, but don’t say “it’s ok” either as it gives mixed messages.

Crawly Baby (9 months old)

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Yup, it’s official, we have a crawler! Our little lady, at just over 9mths old is now well and truly on the move.

When she wants to she can really go at a pace but actually for the most part she doesn’t want to crawl and much prefers to stand. So she will only crawl until she can find something (usually Mummy who she knows is a soft touch) to pull herself up on. She is so determined to stand and walk that even if there is nothing (or no Mummy) to grab onto then she will try and stand. As a result, much of the time she ends up like this, with bum in the air.

She has even done a couple of steps like this but I think she hopes to push herself to standing and just can’t quite get herself there yet!

It’s a whole new world for us as Monkey never crawled properly and just did a sort of commando style drag across the floor. The speed that LM can go and the distance she can cover is a whole new thing so we are having to be extra careful about what is on the floor – especially some of Monkey’s smaller toys. It terrifies me even thinking about it to be honest!

It’s so lovely seeing her so proud of herself for accomplishing it, even though there is still just as much frustrtaion as she would rather stand and walk. I have a feeling that won’t be too far in the future though!

Love watching her grow into a little person 🙂

Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

Can I really do this?

development

A swimming breakthrough

Siblings March 2016

Siblings February 2016

Learning to draw at 15mths and 3 3/4

Monkey Says at 3 1/2

Little Miss is 1!

LM’s first steps at 10 mths

Little Miss at 10 months

Potty Training at Age 3

Crawly Baby (9 months old)