Our Anniversay

My word of the week this week is Anniversary, because we celebrate our wedding anniversary this week! We have been married for 4 years and in early September we will have been together for 5 years. It has certainly been a busy 5 years as we have got married, bought our lovely house, spent a lot of time doing it up, and of course have had 2 gorgeous children.

You can read more about our little whirlwind here but basically hubs and I got set up on a blind date by our mums, moved in together after 4 weeks and were engaged after 5 weeks. Married less than a year later and 1st baby was here less than a year after that. We certainly don’t like to hang around!

It’s been a wonderful 4 years of marriage and I know there will have been some very sceptical people around after we got engaged so quickly (I know I have always been sceptical of similar fast engagements) but I wouldn’t change any of it for a second. Life with small children is hard and certainly tests a relationship… I have never understood why people think having a baby will ‘fix’ a relationship as quite the opposite – it tests even the strongest in my opinion! But we have never faltered or questioned that this is right.

We have a really good, strong partenrship based on mutual trust and respect and having a lot of fun together. We aren’t perfect by a long shot and have to remember to make time for us as a couple. To have fun together rather than just sharing the parenting and housework and cohabiting!

I’m not the soppiest person at the best of times and romance definitely goes out of the window when small people enter our lives, but now that LM is getting a bit older hopefully we will get to remember that we are a couple, as well as parents. We had a lovely day in London last week and a meal out for our anniversary and look forward to more times together to come, as well as watching our gorgeous kiddies grow together of course.

In honour of our wedding anniversary I thought I would share a few pics of our wedding. It wasn’t the most traditional wedding as we had a very late afternoon ceremony followed by a BBQ and disco, so no sit down dinner or speeches. It was a gorgeous day full of lots of colour and fun, we made our own cakes (and our mums made some too) and had lots of fun bits like fortune teller confetti holders and a wedding photo scrapbook rather then guest book. As our wedding was the same year as the Royal Wedding, we even mocked up our own joke wedding memorabilia titled the Real Wedding memorabila! Lots of daft bits but was so much fun putting it all together.

our wedding

Can’t believe it was 4 years ago, in some ways it has gone by in a flash, in others it feels like a whole other lifetime!

Anyway, Happy Anniversary hubs,  looking forward to many more years 🙂 xx

Photographs taken by Chris Boland of Distant Cloud Photography – he is amazing!

Running & Hiding

Most evenings at the moment, in between tea and bathtime we have been making the most of the warm light evenings and having a short family walk. It’s usually a little cooler out at that time of day so it is nice to get out of the house and get some fresh air – plus it is nice to have a bit of exercise.

We don’t generally go very far, but there is a lot of exercise going on because it is not exactly a gentle stroll. Not with Monkey around. Because his favourite thing at the moment is running and hiding. And, of course, we have to join in.

It’s great fun actually, running around trees and bushes, changing direction to try and catch each other out and shouting “Boo!” really very loudly. Then we run to the next tree and the same begins again and this lasts for a lot of our walk.

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Although confined to her buggy, LM really enjoys it too, and giggles away when we jump out from behind the trees!

happy LM

I also just have to share this daft little video with you. When I was a kid these bushes had passages cut throughout them and hours would be spent playing in there and building dens. It has long since overgrown since then and I thought all of the passages were gone but found an opening so couldn’t resist taking Monkey in to hide!

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Rules for Me & Choosing to be Happy

Regular readers will know that I have recently accepted that I have postnatal depression. I am taking antidepressants and things are definitely improving. The medication isn’t a miracle cure though and I have to play my part too. I need to change the way I think about some things to help get through this and I have come up with some “rules” for me to live by.

I actually came up with a number of these before accepting I have PND and was trying to manage it by myself. I didn’t manage and I did and do need the help but that doesn’t mean that these rules are any less valid.

My rules are:

Stop being mean to yourself. You are not fat and disgusting, stupid or incompetent. (Honestly I am meaner to myself than I ever would be to anyone else!)

Be kind to yourself and make more time for you. 

Take deep breaths when things go wrong (rather than f-ing & blinding under my breath, slamming doors and stomping around like a teenager – this one may be tricky)

Don’t let the fact that one thing has gone wrong ruin the rest of the day or make you forget what a lovely time you were having until that point. It hasn’t ruined anything and won’t last forever.

Have realistic expectations. Both of yourself, your plans and of the children. I need to accept that perfection doesn’t exist and unfortunately things won’t always go smoothly. If LM is off routine then I must take a deep breath and go with it rather than stressing about it.

Be more organised. One of my biggest stresses about 4 times a day is working out what to feed LM, so I have created a meal plan a week in advance to remove the stress of that multiple times a day. (We already meal plan for the rest of the family.)

Set times to do things and make lists so you can feel you have achieved something (rather than just getting weighed down by a seemingly endless mental list)

Don’t try and squeeze things in when looking after the kids – I get so frustrated when I am trying to blog but have a child jumping on my head or kicking me in the ribs, when really they just want my attention

Have two blogging evenings a week. No TV on those days.

Remember that blogging doesn’t have to be a competition. You didn’t start blogging to win awards etc. 

Write and do what makes you happy.

Do more exercise. I have been saying I need to do this for ages but have so far been lazy and not done so! My diet did me well for a while but I have had enough of it for the time being. I am doing lots of walking and that and looking after the kids is helping me maintain my loss but I need to tone up and strengthen my muscles as I am very weak and I have no core strength at all. So I have started some yoga and pilates at home and my brother’s girlfriend and I are starting to play badminton every week next week so that should be fun!

Enjoy the kiddies. Too often I get annoyed when the kids won’t play on their own so I can get on with jobs – when I should be making the most of my time with them and having fun, that is why I am a SAHM after all!

 

Definitely enough rules to be going on with and I have to keep reminding myself at the moment but I do feel like they are helping me …. that and the sheer quantity of chocolate I have consumed in the lately. I am being kinder to myself…. though I really need to keep up with the exercise so that I don’t put back on all the weight I have lost this year!!

Do you have “rules” that you live by?

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At the park with Nanny

Wednesdays are normally a day where Monkey spends the day with his Nanny & Pops, but every now and then Pops is at work on a Wednesday. Sometimes those days are just Monkey and Nanny days, but sometimes LM and I join them for a bit of fun, I don’t quite make up for Pops’ absence but it’s nice to spend some time with my Mama too :). Last Wednesday we went to our local country park together for a picnic and playtime, and it was just lovely.

The forecast was for a lovely sunny day, and it certainly started off bright, but then clouded over and turned decidely grey but it didn’t stop us having lots of fun.

park with Nanny

At one point we the only people in one of the play areas so Nanny, who loves a bit of silliness, went on the slide with Monkey, who thought this was brilliant!

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Then I thought LM should have a go on the slide too, purely for her sake you understand 😉

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Just an ordinary day having fun with the littlies and their Nanny who they both adore. It is her 65th Birthday today, so Happy Birthday Nanny/Mum!

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Lyveden New Bield, Northamptonshire

A couple of weeks ago we had a visit from my lovely Aunt for the weekend. In spite of (or maybe because of) all of the illness in our house we were desperate to get out and about and have some fun in the sunshine. We decided to visit a local National Trust place that we have only visited once before, on a very bleak February day, Lyveden New Bield. It was really lovely to go back at a completely different time of year and really see it in a new light.WP_20150530_032 The building itself is ever the same, an unfinished Elizabethan ‘garden lodge’ which is bigger than 4 or 5 of our house put together!WP_20150530_021

It is hugely impressive, perched on a hilltop and as atmospheric as it was last time we went.WP_20150530_16_08_48_Pro

But the gardens are totally different at this time of year as everything is lush and green. There is a tranquil moat and hilltop mounds. A maze, an orchard, woodland and fields. It really is very, very picturesque!

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It was ‘Lyveden Alive’ weekend so there was a lovely nature trail to go on and lots of lovely activities for kids including bird watching (they have a swallow nest with babies in with a webcam set up looking at it) and pond dipping. Monkey adored wandering about with binoculars on, and the pond dipping was great fun – not something I would have thought he could do yet, but with Daddy’s help to prevent him falling in he thought it was brilliant!

Lyveden alive

The nature trail, certainly helped keep him entertained throughout our visit, seeking out little doors to find letters to spell a word on our activity sheet. He was very, very proud of himself by the end and very happy with the choccies he got as a reward!

lyveden nature trail

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All in in all it was just a lovely day, nice to get out and enjoy the sunshine and have some fun together with my Aunt 🙂

lyveden 3

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Herby the Hedgehog

Meet Herby the Hedgehog.

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Herby is a real family friend of ours. He was hubs’ toy when he was little (he can’t remember not having him) and he is now firm friends with both Monkey and LM.

When Monkey was little I invented the following little ditty:

My name is Herby and I like to dance,
I like to dance and tickle my friend Monkey,
Dance, dance, dance
and tickle my friend Monkey

I make Herby dance for the dancing bits then of course he goes in for a tickle at the tickle bits. Monkey always loved this and we had so much fun with Herby when he was a baby. Sadly I don’t have many photos of Monkey with Herby, I wasn’t a blogger back then and clearly didn’t document every second of our lives the way I do now 😉 but here is a little snap.

Monkey and Herby

Now it is LM’s turn and the ditty has returned, and has all the fun. I love this little video of some of the fun I have been having with Herby and LM recently. She adores him! (Oh and yes that is Monkey singing the bob the Builder theme tune in the background bless him!)

Obviously any hand puppet would work in the same way but in our house it is all about Herby. I love watching the anticipation,the confusion when he goes away and the glee when he comes back.

I have mentioned (more than once, I know) that I find baby days so hard and that I prefer it when they are older. Sometimes it is hard to put my finger on why but here it is. Watching them learn is so much fun, as everything is a learning experience. You get to see the world through their eyes and enjoy it with them.

We really are entering the fun times with LM now and these little moments amongst the hard work really make me smile, and make it all worthwhile.

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Birthday Celebrations

My word this week is a great one, it is Celebrations, because we have had a week full of birthday celebrations!

Last week my little big boy Monkey turned 3! Sadly the poor thing was terribly poorly (believe me, poorly could easily have been this week’s word too as we have all been suffering) with a stonking cold and conjunctivitis, so it was a very chilled out birthday at home with a visit from his grandparents for lunch and an uncle & aunt in the early evening.

Monkey birthday 1

Saturday was the big celebration though with lots of family round for his party. He was so excited bless him and even though he was nowhere near 100% he was feeling a lot better, though by then poor hubs was really suffering. I made a Lightning McQueen cake, which didn’t work out quite as I hoped it would, but you could tell what it was meant to look like and Monkey loved it (and everyone said it tasted nice) so that’s all that matters.

Monkey's birthday party

It was a lovely family day with yummy food and lots of fun 🙂 Monkey was a lucky boy with lots of very lovely pressies and lots of attention from all his favourite people. We spent most of the time inside until Monkey commanded that we all went outside. “Let’s go outside, with Mummy and Daddy and Lots of Family!” When people weren’t forthcoming he stood in the doorway shouting “come on everybody!” lol love him.

Sunday was a fairly chilled day at home then Monday saw more birthday celebrations for my Father-in-law’s birthday. Another lovely happy family day at Grangranny and Granddaddy’s house.

Before we left we had got out a bag of hand-me-down clothes for LM who is growing all the time and found this gorgeous little tutu. I just couldn’t resist dressing her in it and she looked so cute in it! Granny loved her little pink princess and LM was so good even though she was really coming down with the cold by then and had conjunctivitis too.Granddaddy's birthday

Thursday saw the celebrations continue with one of Monkey’s friends turning 4 and a birthday party at a soft play centre. It got off to a very bad start with Monkey throwing the mother of all tantrums as he didn’t want to go. He screamed continuously in the car and made himself sick. I was so stressed and so angry…. but thankfully he perked up a little when he saw some friends and a piece of cake later he was much better and had great fun on the soft play. All that stress and hassle for absolutely no reason, toddlers eh?

Thankfully two of my best Mummy friends were there (we missed our very heavily pregnant friend that makes up our foursome but at nearly 40wks pregnant she understandably couldn’t make it!) and they helped remind me that they have had days like it with their kids recently too and as always it’s just nice to support each other. LM was cute again in her tutu and it was fun, though obviously ever so slightly chaotic with a bunch of kids at soft play! I was shattered by the end of it but Monkey was happy and we did have a lovely time so I am very glad we went.

soft play party 2

This marks the end of a couple of months full of birthdays of family members and friends. In April we have 6 and in May there are 8! (there may be a 9th depending on when my friend’s baby arrives) So it is full of fun but also is a lot of birthdays in a short space of time. There are only 2 in June and none in July so I have to admit it will be nice to have less birthdays to think about for a while.

Do you have a time of year where there are more birthdays than any other?

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Monkey turns 3…

My little Monkey turns 3 this week and I can’t quite believe it.

Monkey is 3

Three years since I became a Mummy! I look at him running around and chatting and singing and lolloping like a teenager and I wonder where he came from. Do you ever feel like that? My friends look at me like I am potty when I say that, but sometimes I find it hard to  reconcile him with the baby that was created inside me.

Don’t worry I am not going to get all deep or profound, I just want to make a little record of everything that makes Monkey Monkey, as he turns three. The good and the bad. As he simultaneously amazes and frustrates me on a daily basis!

A lot has happened in the past year and he really has grown up so much, sometimes he seems so mature… but of course he is still a little tot really. Considering the fact that he was barely speaking at all this time last year, his speech is incredible now and improving all the time. We are suddenly realising that a lot of his babyish pronunciations are being replaced by the correct word. For example “cuityet,” became “biscuityet” and is now “Biscuit.”

He now questions everything ‘What you doing?’ ‘Where’s daddy?’ and my most recent favourite ‘What’s it all about guys?’ to hubs and I – not sure where he picked up that one! Like a sponge he is picking up words and phrases all the time and parroting them back, sometimes in the right context but not always! He is really trying to grasp the concept of time too, and sometimes he gets it right ‘we saw Uncle Simon yesterday’ and other times not ‘I went to play group tomorrow’ or ‘we going to the traypark (playpark) yesterday ‘

His imagination is amazing and just growing all of the time. He held up a piece of bread the other day and announced ‘look it’s a whale’ (and it was very whale shaped) then took a bite and said ‘now it’s a boat!’ In the same way that he saw a whale in his slice of bread, he sees letters everywhere too, in shapes that form in his bath bubbles, in the sand pit and in the lentils we play with. He loves letters but has retained his love of numbers too, randomly counting to 40 on a family walk, and reading the side of a measuring jug we are playing with, so he recognises numbers in the hundreds and thousands!

His imagination is helping at playtime too, playing with trains the other day he grabbed some cuddly toys and announced ‘tickets please’ and made them all give him pretend tickets, and he gives all his toys voices too which is just adorable. On another occasion, we had loads of fun playing with his motorbike outside where he wheeled up to my ‘petrol station’ (the swing) and paid me to fill up the tank (using a bubble wand) then I had to give him his keys, hehe. Almost everything has the potential to be a rocket ship too… with crayons, toy screws, cars and all sorts being vooshed around the house until I made him a very basic rocket which he loves!

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He sings all the time and at the moment his favourites are the Postman Pat and Bob the Builder theme tunes, which he knows pretty much word perfectly (even if it does sound a little like ‘Postman Pat is a black and white cat’ sometimes).

He is such a caring little boy for the most part frequently giving us all (including LM) cuddles and saying ‘I love you so much’ which melts my heart everytime. He quite often asks us ‘are you ok?’ and when he is playing with cars now tells me to be careful so I don’t slip… potentially as a result of seeing me slip more than once!

He loves helping (which is great as it is often a good way to persuade him to do something) and particularly loves helping Daddy in the garden.

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He also loves making his sister laugh, which is lovely.

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On the flipside he is going through a fearful phase and seems to have a little separation anxiety. He has been having ‘bad dreams’ and getting scared of things he isn’t usually afraid of, including episodes of Postman Pat that he was watched many many times before.He says he misses us when he goes to playgroup and gets upset about going even though he does have fun when he is there. He is increasingly jealous of LM now and wants our attention when we are looking after her. Again getting upset at times which is hard.

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He had to go in the buggy so he could play with the toys that are there for LM!

 

But then he is so contrary too and sometimes when we give him our attention he doesn’t want to know… but of course when we are busy he desperately wants our attention. He would swear black is white sometimes and if we say no we don’t have something, he will insist we do, which when we really don’t is incredibly frustrating! Though I suspect he is just being a normal three year old so try not to let it irk me too much.

Although we have times where he drives me a bit crazy, for the most part he is such a lovely little boy and I am so proud of him and I can’t quite believe he is my little boy.

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Making some positive changes

Positive changesRegular readers will know that I didn’t have the best week last week… by a long shot. I was feeling lower than I have felt in a long time and couldn’t see what my next step should be I felt I was sinking fast but a bit of a breakdown including much crying, and a very cathartic blog post… and I feel much better.

Friday was a pivotal moment. I got so angry with Monkey about not eating his lunch and really flew off the handle, which just isn’t like me at all. Hubs came home in the midst of this and took Monkey to playgroup, at which point I sat and sobbed as I felt awful. I didn’t like my behaviour at all and I think I knew I couldn’t allow myself to be like that all of the time.

I think it was a bit of a shock for hubs too seeing just how upset and angry I was and he really realised how much I have been struggling recently. Since then my mood has gradually improved and all I can say is that I don’t feel the same. I feel lighter and much more positive.

I have to give a huge thank you at this point to all of you wonderfully supportive readers out there. You have to take a lot of credit for helping me put things in perspective. I am so so grateful for the support of the blogging community and I don’t know where I would be without my blog. The tips, advice and just moral support I received from everyone has buoyed my confidence and helped me move on from the hole I was in.

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Helmsley Castle, Yorkshire

One of the things I was really looking forward to on our little holiday to Yorkshire recently, was visiting some good castles. I love a good castle, the scale, the history, I just find them fascinating. Our base for the week was near Thirsk so we were not far away from the North York Moors. On the southern border of the moors is the small town of Helmsley, home to Helmsley Castle. I thought it looked like a good place to visit, especially as it was only around 20 mins from our holiday cottage.

What I hadn’t realised, from the little research I did, was quite how close to the town it was, with the ruin of one tower very much looming over the town – this tower was an addition, actually built solely to intimidate the residents of the town.

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I have to admit we struggled a little to find the castle. Obviously we could see it as we drove into Helmsley but was very unclear how to actually get to it. Signs for parking in a couple of places but nothing that actually said parking for the castle, which would have been helpful! So if you go, look out for signs for “Long Stay” parking and that will take you to the right place.

On arrival there is a lovely model of how the castle used to look, and there are a couple of different routes you can take to enter the castle – with LM in the buggy we were advised to take the slightly longer, accessible route, which led us to the barbican where there are some very cool bronzed statues.

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Monkey had a fab time running around, exploring and climbing on the castle walls.

Helmsley Castle 1

There were places where hand-holding was a must, especially walking around the edge of the moat, and inside the fallen tower, to make sure he didn’t do himself a mischief. It was a grey morning when we arrived but the sun thankfully came out and after looking inside at some of the well preserved rooms we had a nice little picnic.

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With the sun fully out and LM having a nap we then had a lot of fun spinning in the sunshine, chasing bubbles and generally just having a lovely time with Monkey.

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We then wandered into Helmsley itself which is a gorgeous little market town with lots of lovely little shops and tea rooms where you could happily while away some time.

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Visitor Information

Helmsley Castle is managed by English Heritage and you can find the opening times and prices here. At time of writing it was £6 per adult, £3.60 per child and under 5s go free (perfect for us). We thought this was an ok price was as we didn’t find there was enough there to stay the whole day.

There is a shop but no refreshments available so take a picnic, or you can easily walk into Helmsley itself where there are plenty of tea shops and cafes to choose from.

As mentioned above the parking signs are terrible and don’t mention the castle at all, but follow signs for “Long Stay” parking and you should find it!

Do you and your kids like exploring castle ruins?

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