Today we had our 20 week scan and we have come out with huge smiles on our faces.
pregnancy
Clumsy Pregnant Lady!
Yep, this week, the word that best sums up my week, is Clumsy.
The week actually started off pretty well, we headed home from holiday and were feeling refreshed and invigorated. I have definitely had more energy this week which I am really enjoying! The only blight on the early part of the week was a lingering headache that turned out to be a sinus infection (joy!) so I have been on antibiotics since Monday.
Anyway, we had a lovely weekend, and did lots of things in the garden (more to come on that in a later post ;)). We had a lovely roast dinner on Sunday with hubby’s parents and then Monkey very much enjoyed spending time with his other grandparents on Monday.
Then the clumsiness hit.
Second Trimester Style – Under Bump or Over Bump?
At 19 weeks I am now well into the 2nd trimester and I am actually enjoying it (which is a nice surprise as I didn’t enjoy any of my first pregnancy!). I am managing my SPD problems ok at the moment and though I am still tired at times, the overwhelming exhaustion of the 1st trimester has faded away nicely. The bump is also growing now, although (and hubby is getting really fed up of me saying this) I still feel like I look more plump than bump! (I have stolen that phrase from the fab Ghostwriter mummy as I love it) I just don’t think I look pregnant to the casual observer!
It varies day to day and also from outfit to outfit. When I look down at my tummy – it looks huge to me and then I am surprised when I catch my reflection and see that it is barely there really. Anyone else get that? Different perspectives I know but my tummy feels massive to me!
Poorliness in Pregnancy
Sadly the bank holiday weekend just gone has not been a very fun one for us! It’s a tale of two halves so I will start, surprisingly enough, at the beginning, and then the rest will follow in a subsequent post.
Being ill is never fun at the best of times, but I have to say, being ill when you are pregnant seems doubly bad. For a start, you can hardly take any medication when you are pregnant. The only painkiller you’re really allowed is paracetamol, and I can’t be the only person who finds that paracetamol has a limited effect on a stonking headache or if you feel really rough or in pain. It may take the edge off a fever but behind that, it almost feels pointless to me to take it. Everyone is different though, I know.
If you have a cold, you can’t take any decongestants, so that is most cold remedies out of the window, and with nearly everything else you are told to check with your doctor, who invariably recommends you not to take anything if you can avoid it (obviously with exceptions). I understand why, after all, no-one, and I mean NO-ONE wants to test drugs out on pregnant women to see what effects they have on your baby. Understandably no pregnant woman would want that either, but it is really difficult when you are feeling rough and pregnant, and there is basically nothing you can do about it.
The main reason it is harder to be ill when you are pregnant though, is the obvious fact that you are sustaining the life of a growing human being inside you. So while with any illness at any time, you may feel weak or drained, when you are pregnant, this is compounded, as the baby still needs to take all the nutrients they can from you, leaving you with even less. Add to that the dreaded hormones which can make you react to things much worse than normal anyway, as I discovered this weekend…
Friday had been a lovely happy day, in the afternoon my little bro came round to play with Monkey as he does every other Friday after work. I was feeling really tired at this point and a tiny bit nauseous, but, honestly, that’s nothing new with this pregnancy. The 4.30-6pm time is generally a bit rough for me at the moment and I am quite often tired, woozy and occasionally a bit nauseous so I didn’t think too much of it. After my little bro went home I asked hubby to see if he could get out of work a little early as I was really struggling with the thought of cooking the tea. Again, not hugely out of the ordinary as the previous time I had cooked meatballs, I had felt a bit sick, so I assumed it was just all part of the pregnancy fun.
But, well, to cut a long story short, it wasn’t. I started throwing up a couple of hours later. I have suffered in the past (pre- being pregnant with Monkey even, and during my last pregnancy) with acid reflux, which when really bad made me very sick, so initially I thought it may be something like that. Then it got really bad and I was throwing up any tiny sip of water and even if I had nothing the throwing up was approx. every 20-30 mins apart. Then the diarrhea started and by now I knew something was actually wrong. Tummy bug, bad food, no idea, but not just normal.
The next morning we thought I was a bit better and I tried some food. Soon enough though the vomiting started again and as I had nothing left in my system I started vomiting bile, first yellow, then a horrible dark green colour, which smelt bad! Really really sorry if that is too much information, that is the worst I will tell you.
I have had food poisoning once before (many years ago travelling alone in a hostel in Peru, it was not fun) and I know that these things will generally sort themselves out. But there is a big difference in that right now I am pregnant. We are told to not eat certain things as certain bugs can be dangerous for the baby. I have no idea what bug I had but all I did know was that by now I was seriously dehydrated and knew that again that couldn’t be good, but also didn’t really know how/if/when it would be a problem for the baby.
So I called the NHS 111 line and spoke to an out of hours GP, and got an appt with them at the out of hours centre. The Dr I saw was concerned by how dehydrated I was and with the frequency of the vomiting and was worried that if he gave me any anti-sickness medication then it would basically come back up again. The alternative option was a trip to hospital. He called them and they wanted me to go in, potentially to stay overnight.
I was sent to triage on the delivery unit as by now it was Saturday evening, and after being assessed by midwives and a doctor (and listening to my baby’s heartbeat, which was a huge relief!) we were asked what we wanted to do. I could have stayed overnight to be rehydrated and receive anti-sickness medication, or I could get an anti-sickness jab and rush through some fluids to hopefully break the cycle so I could go home. I’d always rather be at home in my own bed so we chose the latter. The important thing really was knowing that the baby was fine and wasn’t going to be harmed by my being ill.
We had a good chat with the midwife who told us that basically if anything, being pregnant just made me feel worse. She said the hormones would probably have made the vomiting worse in the first place, and then because the baby is still getting everything he/she needs, I was being left with even less sustenance to keep myself going. Not very fun but at least the baby wasn’t suffering at all as a result of it.
I had a really painful injection in my bum (never realised how painful jabs into that muscle are before) and a lovely cannula on my wrist for the IV and then started receiving the fluids, which made me freezing cold! Particularly in my arm, brrr! Hubby was with me (grandparents looking after Monkey in bed at home by now) and we took the opportunity to talk babies’ names. It was really odd being on the delivery unit as women were coming in with their contractions, we could hear the midwife on the phone reassuring expectant mums, and every now and then we would hear the cry of a newborn. Really quite surreal being there, when I barely even have much of a bump!
Thankfully after a couple of hours, when the bag was empty, I was feeling a lot better, and though I was still dehydrated, I hadn’t thrown up in all that time and had a bit more colour in my cheeks. I was again given the option of staying overnight but wanted to come home and so far I have been a lot better since. It’s taken a couple of days of not really eating very much so I am still really tired and drained. Sitting writing this I don’t feel too bad but I know when I get up to do something I get tired really quickly.
Unfortunately though, the drama of the weekend was not quite over….. to be continued...
Feeling Hormonal – 15 weeks pregnant
Hormones are to blame for so many things. Even when you’re not pregnant they affect your mood (particularly at certain times of the month). But when you are pregnant, quite frankly they rule the roost. Hormones are to blame for many of the delightful pregnancy symptoms. From the obvious, and understandable, loosening of joints to make room for the baby, to the less understandable or reasonable symptoms, such as more spots on your face (why, anybody?) or my current favourite which is the permanently bunged nose feeling and frequent mini nosebleeds. I know it’s all to do with blood vessels and increasing blood flow to the baby, but honestly, it’s driving me a bit bonkers!
These are of course by no means the worst of it though, as the worst thing about hormones has got to be the way that they affect your mood. The way they can turn you from a perfectly rational human being, into some kind of crazy person who flies off the handle one second, laughs hysterically the next and then starts bawling for basically no reason. All the while the tiny rational voice in your brain is aware of what is happening and how bonkers you look and sound, but is absolutely powerless to stop it.
Hormones are massively affecting me at the moment. I know I am in my 2nd trimester now and by all accounts things should be getting easier, and in many ways they are, but the hormones look likely to be my companions for at least a little longer. I have spent so much time lately feeling really down and miserable that I actually started to worry if I had ante-natal depression. I would wake up in the morning with a dark cloud over me that would be there all day.
I have been irritable, downright exhausted and crying for literally completely unknown reasons. There have been days that I have just wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from the world. A friend I saw last week even asked me if I was ok, with a genuine note of concern as she said I really hadn’t seemed like myself for a while. And I haven’t. EVen having a conversation with a friend has felt like a bit too much effort at times, and in many ways I haven’t known what to say, as I don’t want to be moaning, particularly when I don’t really have anything to moan about!
Because, why I have I been feeling like this? I literally don’t know! I am not unhappy about having another baby. Our little Monkey is being a real cutie pie, hubby is being lovely, as are friends and family. The house is a bit more untidy lately as I don’t have the energy to keep on top of it, but that’s not enough to induce this much misery. So I was starting to get concerned about it myself. Then something happened to remind me that I am just being ruled by my hormones.
I woke up this morning feeling fine. Better than fine in fact, I actually feel pretty chipper! This is particularly odd today in that today is normally a day that would have me feeling a bit low, even without the pregnancy. Because
a) Monkey woke up with a cold so is a bit cranky and not quite himself
b) My friend had to cancel our plans today for a Drs appt. Not that I would be mad or upset with her, it’s far more important than our play date at the park! But cancelled plans and a day with not much planned has, in the past, been known to make me a bit moody! Monkey is older so it’s not as bad as it used, to be, and it’s a gorgeous day so we can play in the garden, but still this would ordinarily invoke some negativity from me!
c) Hubby is out tonight. The whole night. He is going out straight from work and won’t be back till late. So no help at teatime, bedtime, anything.
In particular c combined with a, should be enough to reduce me to misery, let alone when combined with b, meaning that it is just Monkey and I for basically 24 hours! So why not today? Why after feeling so miserable for so long, does a day that on average is worse than others, actually feel much better, much happier? Oh, who knows! I can only assume the hormones are well and truly in charge!
Hopefully this happier phase will last longer than today, and who knows, maybe it will last for at least the rest of the trimester?? For a control freak like me, accepting that I am not running the show, even in my own brain, is pretty frustrating! So, much as I am happy to be pregnant and having another baby, I will very much look forward to the day when I am no longer pregnant, and that hormones only take over my brain once a month, rather than being my constant companion!
Did you feel hormonal when you were pregnant? Did it drive you completely and utterly bonkers?
My word of the week this week is Hormonal 🙂
Find out? Or wait for a Surprise?
I don’t like surprises. I’m rubbish with them. There’s generally too much pressure and I don’t know how to react to them. My hen do was a classic example of this as my lovely bridesmaids put in a lot of effort to organise some really thoughtful surprises. I really appreciated their efforts, but honestly? I kind of wish they hadn’t. I felt excluded at times as there was so much whispering and giggling behind closed doors, and the rest of the time I felt under a lot of pressure, with all the comments of “I can’t wait to see how you react” & “I think you’re going to cry.” It sadly turned some lovely, fun, thoughtful things into a bit of a stressfest for me and I then felt I had disappointed them by not reacting the way they wanted.
I may have mentioned this once or twice before, but I’m a planner, and ok, I admit, a bit of a control freak. I like to know what I am doing and what is going on. That makes me happy. I can be a bit spontaneous at times and of course the odd little surprise of something like hubby coming home from work a little early is lovely. But big surprises, surprises that aren’t really surprises because you know they are coming but you just don’t know what the surprise itself is? Nope, I don’t like them. Maybe the fact that I am impatient doesn’t help either – I literally hate the suspense!
This is one of the many many reasons why we won’t be waiting for a surprise to see whether we are having a girl or a boy for the next baby. I understand that for many people the surprise is incredible, and a wonderful moment, and I’m not saying they’re wrong and that everyone should find out, this is purely about my personal choice. Because I don’t like surprises at the best of times, waiting for a surprise at that point in time, when there is already so much else to worry about (is the baby ok, am I ok) just feels too much for me.
The other main reason though that we will be finding out at the 20 week scan, is that I don’t like calling the baby ‘it.’ I understand you can name your bump, and I also know that gender isn’t everything that defines a personality, but somehow, calling the baby “he” or “she” rather than “it” makes it more real for me. It makes the baby a person rather than a thing. You know how it is, we anthropomorphise everything – we give human traits to animals, appliances and inanimate objects. It’s what we do! (come on, tell me you’ve never described a washing machine or car as temperamental, or assigned them a gender?) So it feels natural to me to refer to the baby, which is a human, as a human (he or she) rather than ‘it.’
He? She? It?
Monkey was Monkey before he was born. We had loved his name since before we were pregnant but held back in case, as some people say, we saw the baby and the name just didn’t fit. So we weren’t shouting his name from the rooftops, but privately we referred to him by his name. And we loved it. He was a wriggle bum then and stubborn as he wouldn’t turn (we didn’t know at the time it was because he physically couldn’t turn) and we liked giving him personality traits. You could obviously do that without knowing, but for us, we just loved knowing that ‘it’ was a ‘he.’
I know that they can’t always be 100% certain when determining gender via ultrasound, and I’ve read stories about people decorating rooms in pink with names stickered onto the wall, only for it to turn out not to be the little girl they were predicted. Having said that our ultrasound technician was pretty convinced that Monkey was a boy as he told us that Monkey had been playing with his bits for most of the scan, and that for him it was pretty conclusive!
Image courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/
We aren’t pink for girls, blue for boys people, so the baby’s room is probably going to be white and pastel colours, regardless of gender. We may go a little more girly if a girl is predicted but it would be pretty subtle. The baby will also probably wear Monkey’s old clothes, regardless of gender too, so it’s not so much the preparation side of things. Although I guess mentally preparing for a either will be good for me. I honestly don’t mind what we have, of course I like the idea of a girl so we have one of each, but honestly, girls scare me a bit when they get older, and boys are a bit more of a known quantity! So I will honestly be happy either way. It will be nice to prepare mentally for either though, as again, I don’t like surprises!
I just want to know. And, thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I can know. A lot earlier, when I am feeling calm. And honestly, it’s still a bit of a surprise no matter when you find out, isn’t it? This is obviously a massively personal issue and there are two set camps, those who choose to find out, and those who love the surprise. Neither is right or wrong, each to their own is what I say, but these are my reasons.
How about you? Do you like surprises?
I hate big boobs and I cannot lie …
Sorry, couldn’t resist the title, but yes, it is true, I hate big boobs. I know I am in the minority as stereotypically men prefer them, and I know that many women would prefer their boobs to be larger, but not me! No way Jose! I also partially apologise for the subject matter entirely, as it does feel a bit odd to be so openly talking about my boobs. But there is something about the lack of modesty that comes with pregnancy and childbirth and breastfeeding that leads me to want to write a post about boobs.
Just to clarify, it’s not that I have anything against women with big boobs, I don’t go round looking at big boobs shuddering and hating them, this is just about me, I hate having big boobs.
Being quite pear shaped, when I was younger I guess I wanted bigger boobs as an abstract theory, but actually grew to be happy with the body that I had, smallish boobs and all. I guess it helps that they aren’t really small, I was a 32D, which actually makes them sound bigger than they are! Then I got pregnant, and with me, one of the first things to happen is the expansion of my boobs. It felt like I was in Mothercare every other week to get bras in the next size up! For a while I was buying nursing bras in the hope they may double as bras when breastfeeding, but I soon gave that up as it became evident they showed no signs of slowing down.
This pregnancy has been no different, except that I now have a drawer full of ever larger bras, but worryingly I am already in a 36 E which I think was about as big as I got when I was pregnant last time. God knows where I will end up this time. One thing I have learned this time is that you can wear underwired bras when pregnant. Last time I read so many things about underwiring damaging your milk ducts that I spent months with huge boobs, wearing really unflattering bras that probably didn’t help my feelings towards them! I have found that research has improved in the last few years and that there is in fact no evidence to suggest the underwiring hurts your milk ducts in any way! Hooray! It makes sense to me as if your bra fits properly the wiring shouldn’t be digging in to breast tissue anyway!
My boob expansion doesn’t just end with pregnancy either. When choosing to breastfeed, I knew all about engorgement, but I did not realise quite how mammoth my boobs were going to become – 36G in the end – and I actually bought some of those clasp extenders for the back as I had given up on buying new bras by that point!
I know some women would love this – in fact some of my friends miss their pregnancy/breastfeeding boobs and even consider surgical enhancement to fill what they call the “empty sacks” they were left with. I have nothing against that, if it is what you need to feel better about yourself, then go for it, but it’s not for me. I was happy to go back to small boobs in between pregnancies, because I felt like myself again.
I was happy with my body (ish, I mean who wouldn’t wanted a smaller bum, flatter tum etc) before I got pregnant and pregnancy changes it so much. Then came breastfeeding, and while I was glad I was able to do it (in the end) and will try again next time, there was a certain loss of self associated with it.
It sounds a bit bizarre as if my sense of self was entirely built around my boobs, but for a pear shaped girl the sudden expansion of my chest suddenly made me feel a lot bigger all over. The clothes I wore were different as they had to accommodate them and I guess there is a link with breastfeeding in that I guess they never felt like mine. They were there for a purpose, to feed my little boy, and with engorgement and leaking at set times there was pretty regular reminders about this purpose. Clothing also had to make them fairly accessible, in order to pop them out on demand.
My boobs at about their biggest, when Monkey was 4mths old
Whenever I joke or complain about the size of my boobs already, people say I am lucky or that hubby must be pleased, but no on both counts. I don’t like them, they are heavy and uncomfortable. I now sleep in little crop top bras because they are too heavy not to have any support. Last time they looked so wide and just bleurgh because of the lack of control I was able to use on them.
This time at least I can shape them a bit with underwiring, but even with underwiring, the bras are huge, and hubby says it looks like I’ve had a boob job. And for the record, no he doesn’t love them. He’s slightly intrigued by the fact that they are huge but has told me before that he finds big boobs in general a little scary. Add to that the fact that mine are sore, so no, he is not allowed near them!
Am I the only one who dislikes this particular change so much? I can’t be, surely?
My pregnancy craving – Tangfastics!
There is only one word that can really sum up my week! Tangfastics! I am obsessed with them, they are definitely my guilty pleasure at the moment!
I’ve always been a fan of our sweets but I hardly ever eat them (I have had more than enough work on my teeth over the years to put me off eating them frequently). However, the last couple of weeks they are almost all I can think about. At the time of writing, I have eaten 4 packs this week! It is seriously bonkers and I know I need to ration them, eating a tiny bit extra is one thing, 4 packs of sweets in less than a week is a whole other matter!!
After telling my friend she she is now convinced that it means I am having a baby girl, as even though she usually hates sour sweets, she had a huge craving for them when she was pregnant with her daughter. When I was pregnant with Monkey I didn’t really have any particular cravings. I had a few aversions, mainly to spicy food, but no real cravings. This time though, give me those tangfastics!
I wonder if it means something? I have googled pregnancy cravings and according to experts they have no relation whatsoever to the sex of your baby and are merely your body’s response to hormonal changes and nutritional requirements. I’m not sure what nutritional requirements 5 bags of tangfastics could possible be fulfilling!
There are so many old wives tales that suggest you can tell whether you are having a boy or a girl. Whether you are carrying high or low, whether your hair is shiny or dull, and of course what types of food you are craving! But there seems to be so much online debunking these theories that it is hard to tell if any of them have any relation to to reality, or if they really are a load of nonsense.
I’ve been in quite a bit of pain again this week – I have new exercises from my physio which should help in the long term, but which right now are really aggravating my SPD. So on Thursday afternoon, when my stash of tangfastics ran out, and my hip and pelvis were seriously hurting, I made my first “Pregnant Wife who’s in a lot of pain and really feeling sorry for herself” call to hubby to nip to the shop and get me some! I am glad he works so close! Naughty wife!
In other news though we had a lovely BBQ for my birthday at the weekend, lots of family and friends, and somehow the rain held off! As always with lots of people and toddlers it was a bit chaotic at times but overall a lot of fun. Nice that we had the garden ready for it too, although it was a shame we couldn’t walk on the turf!
What’s your Word of the Week? And did you have any pregnancy cravings? Have any stories of Old Wives’ tales that turned out to be true? I’d love to hear them!
Early Maternity Fashion
I turned 12 weeks last week (I had my first scan on Friday) and am in that delightful stage where I no longer fit into some of my clothes (bye bye skinny jeans for a while) but am not looking pregnant. Family and friends are starting to notice the beginnings of a bump, that slightly rounded tum, but to anyone who doesn’t know I am pregnant, let’s face it, I just look a bit chubby!
Now, I have never been a skinny girl, I have big wide hips and a rather rotund bottom. I have always been a definite pear shape and while occasionally I could squeeze into size 12 trousers, size 14 (and sometimes 16) trousers have always been the norm for me. Top half though is more of a 10-12. As a teenager I hated my lower half, being given the nickname “thunder thighs” by one of my brother’s friends didn’t help with that, but as I got older I learnt to at least accept my body shape and be happy with what I’ve got. One of the benefits of being pear shaped is that I always had a fairly flat tum. I’m not talking washboard abs or anything, but I have always carried weight around hips and bum, rather than on my tummy.
So one of the things I find tricky to come to terms with when I get pregnant, is the expansion above the waistline. My boobs get a bit ridiculous really early on, I have another post about them planned but so far I have gone from a 32D to a 36E, last time I reached a 36G, bonkers. Anyway then obviously my tummy soon stops being flat. This seems to happen quite quickly for me, I guess it is different with everyone and must depend on your body shape but because I am used to having little in the way of a tum, maybe I notice it bulging sooner?
It’s not all from baby either, I am happy to admit that I am eating a little more than pre-pregnancy. Not loads, and I know the whole eating for 2 is a myth, but you know what? I find pregnancy tiring. Really tiring, so to get through the day I snack more than normal, and eat a bit more chocolate because it helps me feel better. And if there is one time in your life where you shouldn’t worry about a couple of extra pounds I feel it should be when you are growing another human being inside your body. I lost my baby weight after Monkey, (thank you WW) and so I know I can do it again. Plus I can’t be overeating that much as the only places I am growing is tummy and boobs, everything else seems about the same size.
The problem with all of this is flattering clothing. I love the look of a lovely baby bump, but I’m not there yet. It’s obviously too soon for maternity clothes, but I also can no longer wear many of my pre-pregnancy clothes, as my waistline is expanding. As a SAHM a lot of my outfits involve colourful skinny jeans and slightly loose longline tops, as I spend a lot of the time on hands and knees playing and I HATE the builders bum you can get in low-rise jeans! But I can’t get into those skinny jeans anymore, there would be no hiding the builders bum with the excess weight I am now carrying. Plus with morning sickness and the odd bit of heartburn I hate my tummy feeling restricted as I expand. So what do I wear?
Leggings and dresses. Lots of leggings and lots of tunics and dresses!! I took a trip to Primarni (Primark, just pretending it’s posher than it is) for a load of £5 tunic dresses the other day as while I had a few, I by no means had enough to be wearing one every day. And I honestly don’t know what else to wear!
A few of my dress combos, ignore the socks and slippers lol!
I’m not buying more jeans in a bigger size, because there’s no point, I will grow out of them super fast, and I hate feeling restricted. I have lots of maternity jeans and clothes from last time but it feels daft wearing them yet. Interestingly I had a conversation a while ago with an ex-friend who was pregnant, telling me that her clothes were too tight and she couldn’t do them up. I excitedly commented it may be time for maternity clothes soon, and honestly, the look she gave me! “Er no, I won’t be needing maternity clothes” as if I couldn’t possibly have suggested anything worse! Barmy really. Think she planned on leggings and jumpers/dresses for the rest of the pregnancy, but honestly, I am bored of this ‘uniform’ already and will be looking forward to some variety!
After all, this phase is just temporary, and when my current leggings get too tight I will break out the maternity leggings. Then will follow the maternity jeans and as I will be pregnant over the summer this time I may get some maternity shorts. It has surely got to be about comfort!?
But for now, I will stick to my routine of leggings and dresses, to hide the slightly flabby looking bump, until it starts looking more like an actual ‘bump’!
What did you find most comfortable when you were pregnant? Particularly in the early stages? Or did you manage to keep your regular wardrobe a bit longer than I have?
The Magic Moment of that First Scan
The first trimester of pregnancy can be pretty rough. I know it’s not the same for every woman, some have an easier time than others, and some have it far far worse than me, but in general it can be a difficult time.
You find out you are pregnant and feel really excited, but you’re not supposed to tell anyone yet, in case something goes wrong. Then the symptoms kick in. Morning (or all day) sickness, exhaustion, aches, pains, heartburn, constipation, flatulence. All sorts of joyful fun to experience, let alone physical changes such as bigger boobs, and potentially a rounding of the tummy. All the while you are supposed to be keeping it secret.
Even while you are feeling all of these physical effects, I find that for me, the pregnancy still doesn’t feel real at this stage. I guess after the initial excitement of the positive test wears off, I hold myself back from being too happy, just in case. Plus when you feel rough every day it is hard to feel positive about it. There is no doubt that being lucky enough to fall pregnant and bear a child is a blessing, but that doesn’t make it fun. And I don’t think you should have to pretend that it is, if that is not how you feel.
Anyway, digressing, the weeks tick by and, whether you’ve kept it completely secret, or told a few people, to most people in the world, nothing is happening, and even with feeling a bit rough, there are times when you wonder if anything is happening too. I guess what I am saying is that sometimes it is hard to equate the changes to your body, with the life growing inside of you.
Then comes the day of your scan – which I think they call the 11-14 week dating scan now, but it is usually around the 12 week mark. You are excited to see your little one, but nervous as for most mummies this is the first time you see what is going on in there. There’s obviously the nerves associated with wondering if all is ok and developing as it should be.
You go into the ultrasound room and within a few minutes you suddenly see this little baby on the screen. Not a cluster of cells, or a tadpole like creature (that you will probably have seen if you read any of the early ‘your baby this week’ articles on the web) but a teeny tiny human, with arms and legs and a little heart fluttering away it’s own rhythm. It is a truly incredible moment to see that small baby, that you have grown inside you.
It suddenly feels real, and, if all is well, relief washes over you. It doesn’t mean all is safe from here on in of course, but for now, you can see your new little one. That little person created by you and your partner, who is growing and developing safely in your tummy.
We saw baby number 2 on Friday and he/she was such a little wriggle bum, flipping about all over the place. Kicking their little legs about, touching their face with their hands, rolling all over the show while the ultrasound technician was trying to get the measurements.
The first trimester is done (or nearly) and the risks of miscarriage greatly reduce. You can take a sigh of relief and tell the world if you want to. Show them that first picture of your little one. Look forward to the second trimester, where the symptoms *should* reduce and you could hopefully start to feel better and less exhausted.
Hello little one, and hello second trimester!
