Monkey and his swimming, August 2016

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I don’t know about you but since becoming a parent I worry all the time. Am I doing a good job? Is that the right decision? Am I doing something that will come back and bite me later? Swimming is something that has caused me a lot of worry over the past 4 years. I love swimming and I think it’s such an important life skill so I always thought I would get Monkey swimming early on.

But when Monkey was a baby I struggled so much with the day to day that swimming went to the back of my mind. With his colic and sleep troubles I couldn’t conceive it. Then we discovered that a routine worked so well for him and I didn’t want to do anything that mucked it up for him.

As he got older we checked out swimming lessons at a fabulous specialised pool near us, but they were so expensive! And I guess we were not convinced about the long term as it felt like once we started we would have to keep on going in order for him to keep the skills and that was looking like a phenomenal amount of money over the years. After our first holiday abroad where he loved the pool I was determined to start lessons. We found cheaper lessons at a local pool and hubs started taking him every Saturday… With varying degrees of success. To be honest sometimes it was a nightmare. The water in the pool wasn’t that warm and for the most part Monkey absolutely hated it and would scream for most of the session.

Loving swimming on our first holiday abroad

It was on a Saturday morning and it got to the point where every Saturday hubs would come home in such a foul frustrated mood with a tearful shattered Monkey and it was just not the way to start the weekend. So the lessons were shelved for a bit. On holiday last year I had hoped for a repeat of our previous holiday fun, but it was not to be as the pools there were so cold and Monkey absolutely refused to get in. LM loved it so at least that was something.

Very chilly Monkey after trying out the pool on holiday last year

It may sound crazy but as honestly felt like we were failing Monkey. He needs to learn to swim and I want him to enjoy it but it just felt like noyhijg we did worked. I looked again at the expensive lessons but he is now too old to go to that pool. It didn’t help that in checking it out I saw them so proud of children Monkey’s age who were swimming 5 metres unaided etc. I felt like we had missed a window of opportunity.

Earlier this year we started taking the kids to a local baby pool a bit irregularly but on Sunday mornings. It is a love warm pool and I wrote how we were having a bit of success. Monkey was happy to go there for one thing and didn’t spend the whole time screaming. LM loved it too so it was lovely for all of us.

We have still been going, fairly intermittently but I have still been nagged by doubt and feeling we should do more. I have gone round and round in circles with it and felt like I was making both kids miss out by not taking them to lessons but felt I couldn’t take LM to lessons while Monkey was still not swimming. It just highlighted how little he could do.

Anyway, I am writing this having just come home from probably the best experience swimming with Monkey ever. He was kicking his legs and arms while we held him, and then instead of insisting on walking like a spaceman the rest of the time, he independently learned that he could float with his armbands on, and spent ages floating and kicking his legs and just having so much fun with it.

I’d also taken our swimfin along with us. After reading loads of great reviews last year I bought one, but other than once at home I have never been able to persuade him to put it on. It took some doing and LM had to wear it for a bit first, but we did get Monkey wearing it… And he swam! With the swim fun and arm bands he swam all by himself, a good doggy paddle and he just did it. Everything we have been saying to him and doing with him has clearly paid off.

We were so proud! And relieved, as it feels like we are finally on our way. We will carry on with what we are doing and when he is much more confident in the water we will start normal swimming lessons. For now though it feels like we have overcome a major hurdle!

A swimming breakthrough

Posted by Caroline Elliott

I love swimming, always have done. My mum always used to call me a water baby as I just adore being in the water and though never the most graceful person in water or out I do consider myself to be quite a strong swimmer. Hubs on the other hand isn’t such a strong swimmer. He can swim and does enjoy it but I guess isn’t quite as confident as I am at being out of his depth for example. I think and have always thought that swimming is a hugely important life skill and I want the kids to be strong swimmers too.

One of the times Monkey has actually enjoyed swimming

Because of this we have tried numerous times in Monkey’s little life to encourage him to enjoy swimming, with varying degrees of, well, failure. We have been just with us and he has clung on for dear life the whole time. We have tried classes which involved jumping in and going underwater along with just having fun but he spent nearly all of the sessions screaming his head off until eventually we stopped taking him as it was stressing hubs out so much and ruining a large chunk of the weekend. There has been the odd occasion where he seems to have enjoyed swimming but then it generally goes back to screaming again the next time.

The last time we tried was on our holiday last year where after finding the water cold once, he point blank refused to get in for the remainder of the holiday and made a holiday by the pool very difficult indeed.

Now, LM adores water I thik she would be happy splashing around in water all day if she could, she just adores it, so I have been thinking it was time to get her swimming, and I do think she would love classes. But, Mummy guilt stepped in and i just knew I couldn’t start her swimming without addressing Monkey’s swimming fear. He starts school in September, and though I have no idea when they start swimming with school, the last thing I want is for him to be having a screaming meltdown at the side of the pool and refusing to get in when that time does come.

On holiday last year, it was after this that Monkey refused to get in the pool

So after chats with hubs we decided to try to go back to basics and just make going swimming the four of us a regular thing. We chose an infants pool that we know is really warm as the temperature of the pool on holiday was such a huge issue for him. I was half looking forward to it and half dreading how stressful it would be. We headed off bright and early Sunday morning and to be honest just getting out of the door was stressful and I did wonder more than once why on earth we were doing it to ourselves. I hid this though and Hubs and I agreed to having very low expectationsas he would probably not get in the water at all.

Straight off, LM adored the water. she was kicking her legs and splashing her arms in a way Monkey just never did as he would always cling to us so tightly. She loved sitting on the side and “jumping” herself in to the water where one of us caught her. She was happy to be dipped underwater and didn’t cry once. In short she just adored every minute.

LM adoring the water on our holiday last year

To start with, Monkey did as expected and sat on the ledge near the pool. We did persuade him to dip his fingers in and see it was warm but for a while he was adamant he did not want to get in, despite laughing and clearly enjoying watching other children having fun in the water. This is the point where often peer pressure gets the better of us. You can see the other parents looking and wondering what you are doing, and it is so tempting to just grab him and get him in the water… but we know from experience that this is not the way to do things with Monkey and that he has to decided to do it in his own time.

We could see he was tempted but still not sure so hubs said that if he got in and tried it that we could go to a cafe fr hot chocolate afterwards. Monkey loves a visit to a cafe, but is stubborn enough that he would say no if he really didn’t want to do something. But, he said yes, and he got in. And he did amazingly well. To start with he clung on for dear life but gradually relaxed a little. We managed to get him to kick his legs while we whizzed him round and that was brilliant and I daren’t hope for more.

Then when he realised that he could stand on the floor of the pool he ventured away from our supporting arms. He was having great fun walking slowly in the water, pretending to be a spaceman! Things just got better and better when he agreed to hold his arm bands and eventually let me put them on him. In nearly 4 years we have not managed to get armbands on him due to the screaming meltdown any attempt has resulted in. I was also completly amazed when he copied his baby sister by sitting on the edge of the pool and jumping in to where daddy could catch him. Absolutely incredible and we were so proud of him.

In the end he could not stop telling us how much he loved swimming and how “swimming is my favourite!” and he did not want to get out. Hubs and I exchanged incredulous looks more than once and just couldn’t believe how far he had exceeded our expectations.

Now, because I know how contrary he can be I am still wary to say this is it and he now likes swimming, but things are looking positive. We couldn’t go the following weekend as we were away but are going to try and go as many weekends as possible to just cement this and help him to love swimming as much as his sister clearly does naturally.

Hooray and here’s hoping to lots more fun swimming as a family!

Our Holiday in a Nutshell

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Last week we were on holiday. We had a lovely week in Menorca but it wasn’t without its challenges… life with 2 kids rarely is I think! Here is a little about our holiday, in a nutshell.

So it started off pretty well, Monkey loved the plane journey and was so excited to be flying bless him! LM was less impressed, especially by the delay when we were sat on the runway for ages! She did sleep a bit though thankfully and we survived the journey pretty well.

The hotel was lovely we loved our apartment and it was in a great spot, not too far from the pool but not too close for it to be too noisy in the evening. We opted for a 2 bed apartment which was very spacious and meant that hubs and I would have our space once the kids were in bed, compared with previous holidays where we have been stuck on the balcony or in the bathroom while Monkey was asleep.

The restaurant was nice enough and there was plenty of variety in the buffet. The downside was that the set times were a bit later than the kids normally eat so was a bit challenging keeping them going some days… and the restaurant environment was a little distracting for LM at times so the dvd player and baby jake came to our rescue at most mealtimes. I know there was other people judging us and I probably judged us too but it was worth it to he able to eat without juggling a wailing baby. At least there was lots of other families with small children there which was brilliant as lots of us in the same boat trying to keep babies and toddlers happy.

LM absolutely adored the pool and was desperate to be in there whenever we went near it. Both hubs and I had so much fun with her in there which was lovely.

We also sometimes set up a dinghy with some water and toys so she could have a play in there and she adored that too.

Unfortunately though Monkey was not a fan of the pool. It was very cold as the water was being constantly recirculated and really didn’t ever get warm. As a result, after the first day Monkey point blank refused to go in and if we attempted to coax him in we were met with screams, shouts and full on meltdowns. Joy. Such a shame too as the kids pool was great with slides in and so all the other kids seemed to absolutely love it.. and LM had absolutely no problem with the temperature. We did occasionally persuade him to play by the side of the pool or paddle a little… but it took a LOT of effort!

There was a lovely little beach literally within 5 mins walk and it was gorgeous, really secluded and surrounded by bushes so very peaceful. The only downside was that it is a preservation beach meaning that they are not allowed to remove any of the kelp and seaweed that washes up onto the beach so the beach was covered. Monkey and Daddy still had a fab time building sandcastles and we got LM paddling for a bit… but sadly she didn’t much like the sand so wasn’t happy there for long.

So we had one little one who didn’t like the pool and one who didn’t like the beach. Not exactly a recipe for a relaxing beach/poolside holiday. After a couple of days we realised we needed to do something else as the kids were driving us mad and we were getting snippy with each other.

Our first little outing was a trip to the capital Mahon to visit the market. Monkey had a meltdown to end all meltdowns and we ended up using the naughty spot on a random street corner while I walked a screaming LM up and down in her buggy to get to sleep. Not exactly the best start! We did turn it around though and had a lovely boat trip on the harbour and a nice lunch. I will write more about that in a seperate post though.

The following day was a very chilly day and we planned on going to the little zoo on the island which was really lovely as many of the animals have been rescued and have lovely big enclosures to enjoy. Unfortunately it poured with rain shortly after we arrived meaning we go soaked as we looked round. We still very much enjoyed it though, and because of the rain we practically had the place to ourselves. The kids loved looking at all of the animals and running from shelter to shelter!

In the evenings after dinner we generally wandered around with the kiddies, Monkey made friends with other kiddies and LM loved toddling around. She really is a sociable little thing and kept going up to people meaning I had to have a few slightly awkward conversations, but for the most part people cooed over her and she basked in their attention! One evening after walking around she had a little cry but got over it and we didn’t think much of it. I carried her back to the apartment where I looked down and realised my shorts were covered in blood! She had a nasty nasty cut on her toe and we felt like terrible parents for not even realising. Poor thing.

There was a mini disco at 8.30 every night that I am pretty sure Monkey would have loved as he loved dancing on the stage and dancefloor but LM was too tired to stay up for it and as they were sharing a room it was easier to put them to bed at the same time. So hubs and I took a few drinkies with us up to the apartment and either read our books, compared photos or just had a natter. Quite nice to have a change from tv and blogging that takes up our evenings normally!

The journey home was similar to the first and LM slept a bit on the plane but took a lot of entertaining the rest of the time. Monkey was really good but it was still hard work and by the time we had got our bags and the car and made the long journey home from the airport it was nearly 11pm. A very long day and I think we are still recovering actually!

It was a good holiday but it definitely had quite a few negatives unfortunately. I am not sure we will do the same type of holiday again at least not for a while, and hubs is adamant he doesn’t want to make a plane journey again until LM is around Monkey’s age, as he feels that the stress of the return journey wiped out the benefit of the rest we had gotten that week. I don’t feel that it was quite that bad but we do enjoy our UK holidays too so will stick with those for a while I think!

Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

Can I really do this?

swimming

Monkey and his swimming, August 2016

A swimming breakthrough

Our Holiday in a Nutshell