Three. More. Weeks…. At least.

Honestly we all knew it was coming, right? They’ve been teasing it for days. I’m not shocked or even mildly surprised…. So why do I feel quite this gutted by the confirmation?

Why do I feel like crying?

Honestly we are coping OK with lockdown at the moment. Our routine is working for us. The kids are doing well with their learning, we’ve tried some new things, either online classes or methods suggested by others and we are doing good.

The house is a tip but semi keeping on top of it so we aren’t in a complete state of filth.

I think I just miss everyone. Amusingly a few days ago I was feeling like I had this down. I’d bumped into one of my closest friends while out doing exercise and we had a really good, socially distant conversation and think it did me the world of good. More than I actually realised at the time.

Since then, my younger brother’s wife who I get on really well with, sent me a picture of her growing bump. She’s 17 1/2 weeks pregnant. I’m so excited about being an auntie and I just really feel like we are missing out. The kids aren’t able to see her or her bump. It’s an exciting time that we can’t really be part of. I sorted a few of the nice baby things we had kept and hubs delivered them today along with the nursing chair we had saved for them.
I never expected to go with him to deliver them and he dropped it all at a safe distance blah blah but I feel a lot sadder than I thought I would about… I guess just about not seeing them. I don’t know, I’m rambling really.

I also feel a bit pathetic admitting this but it’s my birthday next week and, well, I guess I like birthdays. I like the excuse to get together with friends and loved ones and have nice times together. And that can’t happen this year, not in the way I’d like. I know there are millions of people having birthdays during this crazy time. I’m not special or any different from anyone else so I know I have to suck it up and make the best of it. I’m just feeling a bit down about it.

I’ll perk up and be alright. Will keep on carrying on, but I’m having a low day, well afternoon really. I know we are so lucky. I have my husband and kids with me. We are healthy and have a lovely home and garden. I just miss the people I love that I can’t see at the moment.