I’ve lost my blogging mojo a bit lately. I just haven’t had the time or energy to write much and haven’t really engaged with any there blogs and on the whole have felt like a pretty rubbish blogger. The reasons for this are varied, it has been a really busy month with hubs’ knee surgery and trip to Canada so I have had more to do and have been more tired but I also know there is more to it than that. I have been questioning my blogging a lot.

I started this blog about 3 1/2 years ago, which is a bit mental really. It started off when Monkey was about 9mths old as a little hobby to help me cope with the adjustment of becoming a SAHM. In those days my posts were pretty rambling, I wasn’t on social media with the blog and had never heard of a linky so was mainly just rambling on to a few people.

Then I joined twitter and the world of linkies and wow did my blogging life change. Soon my blog was a major part of my life and my stats shot up. I redesigned my site and things went from strength to strength. I was constantly thinking about my next post and I was loving it. Then LM came along and the truth is I haven’t been able to keep my blog at the level it used to he since she came along. For a long time I just about managed but it was exhausting and eventually I scaled back a bit. I have still been thinking about what I want to write but I don’t always have the time to actually write the posts.

I hate not do something wholeheartedly and have struggled with the scaling back of my blog. I feel disconnected from so many of the lovely bloggers I used to talk to a lot more and to be honest on the periphery of the blogging world a lot. I hardly ever remember to reply to PRs who email me and to my shame have been guilty of link dumping. Not intentionally but I lose track of what I have linked up to and then feel terrible. I try and go back to every link but have a feeling that sometimes I miss some. And there are times when I read someone’s post… And then go blank when it is time to write a comment. I hate writing bland platitudes as a comment so sometimes just don’t say anything.

Britmums live was interesting as I saw so many fabulous bloggers there having a great time together and it’s not like I am jealous,  I guess I just don’t feel like part of that world as much at the moment. I don’t feel like a blogger.

I wonder what the point is in writing my blog. Does anyone really care what we got up to last weekend, or what my opinion is about things? Do I have anything new to share that doesn’t get shared a million times by other bloggers who can put it a lot better than I can anyway?

So do I give up? When something has been a big part of who you are for over 3 years that is not so easy. Especially when there is lots I love about it.

I love that it is a record of my little ones’ childhood. A record of them growing up and developing. A record of the fun we have together and a record of their relationship.

I love that it is a way for me to share all the million photographs that I take of my children, I know I take far too many but I love it and it is nice to have somewhere to share them without bombarding old friends on Facebook with them.

It gives me a place to vent my thoughts. I don’t share everything on the blog as some things should be kept private, but it has helped me so many times to get my thoughts out and process them. I do also love that this has the potential to help others. The thing about the world we live in is that we are never the first or only person to be experiencing a certain thing but if we don’t share our experiences it is easy to feel alone. I know that sharing my postnatal depression has helped others while also helping me and I am proud of that.

So when I think about these things I don’t want to give it up. What I need to do instead is for the time being to scale it back even further and come to terms with that. I will join in with the occasional linky when I have the time but won’t be joining in to any on a weekly basis. I’m sorry but I would rather join in properly occasionally than join in half heartedly regularly and risk link dumping and upsetting the hosts.

So my stats may shrink even further and I will probably be even more disconnected with the blogging world… But actually I think I am OK with that. Our real life is really busy and I want to focus on enjoying that and blog when I can and when I want to. I guess in many ways I am going back to where I started! When Monkey is settled at school in September I may find I have more time and will rethink then.

So in the meantime I will still be here sporadically and you will hear from me occasionally and I will still love to hear from you even if you won’t see at many linkies anymore! Oh and I love instagram so do follow me on there if you want to see what we are up to!  I’m @becomingasahm xx