So it seems that on Wednesdays I have a wobble. OK this is only the 2nd time I’ve had a wobble on a Wednesday, but as we are only 2 weeks into this crazy new life, that’s 100% of Wednesdays where I’ve had a wobble! Not sure what it is about Wednesdays particularly other than I’m on day 3 of solo educating and parenting the kids for the week and the weekend seems far off?

Nic is still working in the office every day as there is work that has to be done in the office and he wants to help keep up the morale of the guys still there doing those jobs. And it’s fine, the kids and I are getting on alright. We have got into a pretty good routine.

We go for a long walk or bike ride first thing, then come back and do Maths and English, with a bit of a play too. Then it’s some art or something creative before lunch.

After lunch some exercise in the garden then it’s a topic activity, science geography etc. Then the kids chill, play, watch TV whatever while I work for a couple of hours. Then the kids do some indoor exercise either by joining in a life class or watching something on YouTube before I sort dinner.

The kids are happy and I’m good. It’s generally fairly relaxed. There’s some obvious bickering between them and the odd tantrum but nothing out of the ordinary. So why the wobble?

I think that it’s the lack of freedom I’m struggling with. I can’t just pop to the shops to get something we’ve run out of. I have to be with the kids at all times and shops really don’t want you taking kids in. Our local tesco was the first place where there were comments made, and I’ve heard of some shops banning kids from coming in (our local B&M, not sure it’s nationwide policy) and I get it, I really do, but single parents really don’t have a choice, and it means I have to try and get my husband to go before or after work. OK, doesn’t sound like a hardship but for someone who hates relying on anyone else, it’s really hard not to just go and get what you need, when you need it.

I’d also like to be able to just go to the shops, by myself, but again with having the kids with me all day, every day, I don’t have that luxury.

My kids don’t stop talking, and it’s lovely, they are very inquisitive and we are doing so much learning, but ooh it’s exhausting. Someone sent me this meme.

And I feel like I have 2, one on each shoulder!

I also hate the fact that you don’t know what you are going to get from the shops (or what my husband will get) because you don’t know what is there. Things are getting better but just hate all the unknowns, and, well, I’m a control freak so it’s particularly hard for me lol.

All this probably sounds really pathetic. We are safe in our home and we are all healthy. Poor me not being able to go out on my own. Not being able to get what I want when I want it. Boo hoo to me. Believe me I know there are people with far greater problems, struggling with domestic abuse, or you know actuall having coronavirus or losing someone to it!

I do worry about the virus but feel like as long as we do the social distancing and keep washing our hands, there’s not much else we can do and we will either get it or we won’t. Or we may have had it and been asymptomatic. I guess I don’t see the point worrying about that until it happens, if it happens. Because I can’t, I just can’t allow myself to think about what that might mean

But the lack of freedom is happening and some days it gets to me. Not every day, apparently only on Wednesdays 😂