Welcome to my journey into unchartered territory as I leave behind the world of work (for the moment at least) to see if I have what it takes to be a stay at home mummy. Can I stay the course? Do I have unrealistic expectations of myself? How much wine/chocolate will I need to survive?
I’m Caroline and apart from a year spent travelling the world I have always worked. I got my first job at a chemist when I was 15 and I have had a number of jobs/careers. I have worked as a television producer, an estate agent, a waitress and I even cleaned toilets whilst at University. My most recent job was managing a team at a concierge company, offering concierge services to wealthy bank customers. I worked long hours and always aim to succeed in everything I do. I was never going to set the world alight but I was well respected at work and the sort of person people would come to if they needed help.
Then nine months ago my life changed more than I could have imagined. My amazing baby boy was born and nothing will ever be the same again. At times it has been hard and at times it has been even harder, but he is my world and I adore him all of the time. This month marks the end of my maternity leave and I have struggled with deciding what to do. To work, or not to work. I have listened to opinions from so many people varying from one end of the spectrum to another – from “how could you work?” to “how could you not work?” It is a very loaded topic.
I finally realised I had to make the decision that was best for me and my little family so, for the moment at least, I have decided to be a stay at home mummy. I am fortunate enough that thanks to my very clever and hard-working husband, this is a realistic option for me.
Now comes the tricky part… how to be a stay at home mummy and stay sane? How to provide the best environment for the little monkey whilst retaining a sense of self? Having been at home with him for the past nine months I would love to have the answer to this already, but the truth is I don’t. I don’t have a clue. But this is my mission and I am determined to find a way to make both me and the monkey happy! I have read blogs from amazing, happy and creative mummies such as Rainy Day Mum, Attic 24 and Mummy from the Heart who seem to have it all figured out. I also have my own mum and mother-in-law to live up to but I am plagued with insecurities and questions!
If I am a stay at home mum should my house be spotless? Am I doomed to a life of repetitive mundane tasks and endless cleaning? Am I terrible parent for loving the 5 minutes of peace and rest I get whilst the monkey is watching Numtums on cbeebies?
I can’t knit, I sew very badly, I don’t iron (thankfully hubby doesn’t wear shirts to work very often) and my first proper attempt at baking a cake failed when I added salt to the mix thinking it was sugar! I am nowhere near achieving the status of domestic goddess but I am learning, little by little, how to fake it till I make it when it comes to being a stay at home Mum. So if you want to laugh (and probably cringe) come and join our colourful and chaotic world to see how I get on.