Monkey was born at 8lb 3oz (3.7kg) and then lost a few pounds in the first few days. By 2 weeks he had put on weight and was 8lb 13oz (4kg) so everyone was happy and he was just over the 50th centile line on the chart. For anyone who doesn’t know it’s basically the NHS’s way of deciphering what is a ‘normal’ weight. The difference within this weight is huge but basically if your child is on the 50th centile line, they are pretty much average weight for their age, 50% of babies that age will be bigger, 50% would be smaller. If that makes sense? I’ll put his charts in to show you what I mean. (Sorry about the rubbish picture quality!)

By 6 weeks, Monkey had shot up to 13lb 2oz (5.95kg) and this put him at about the 93rd centile. This means that he weighed more than 93% of other babies his age. Because it happened so quickly he had to be weighed regularly for a while but he stayed pretty constant along that line of the chart. After about 6 months I didn’t get him weighed for a while, as all was fine, but when we got him weighed again at 10 months old he had shot up again and since then he is on the 98th centile line. Which means he is bigger than 98% of babies his age.

I took him to get weighed for the first time in ages a couple of weeks ago and so at 15 months he weights 28lb 14oz (13.1kg) – to put this into perspective, an average child (on the 50% centile line) reaches his size and weight at about 2 1/2 years old. Monkey isn’t even 1 1/2 yet! He’s not fat, as I’m sure you can tell in pictures I have posted of him, but he is just very tall for his age.

What am I going about? Is that what you’re wondering?

Well, I don’t really mind how tall he is, he’s healthy and happy and the health visitors etc. are happy with him but it does pose some problems sometimes. He isn’t talking yet, and I know some children at his age are, others aren’t but because he is so big people tend to give him a funny look when he is ga ga ga ing or grunting and oohing, because at 2 1/2 that would be a bit delayed. Not out of the realms of possibility of course and I know babies develop at their own pace, but every 2 1/2 year old we know is talking well by now.

Even one of my friends, the other day when Monkey was just in a t-shirt and nappy, said “I know he’s not old enough, but when you look at him, it looks like he is old enough to not be in a nappy anymore.” and yeah, at 2 1/2 potty training would be around now. But at 15 months old? No way! We were then talking about their babies who are 7 months old and 4 months old, and I was like oh Monkey is 15 months in a couple of days, and again, even though they know he’s not very old, there was a moment of wow, yeah he’s only 15 months old.

With strangers it’s worse, with the competitiveness that seems to come hand in hand with parenthood. I try really hard not to get too involved in this kind of thing as they are all individuals, but it seems this kind of comparison is almost inevitable sometimes. When their child who is the same size is talking eloquently and is very coordinated and running and climbing well, and they look at Monkey, I feel like I need a loudspeaker or a sign around my neck saying “He’s only 15 months old – he’s just really big! He’s not backwards!!” but instead I just bite my tongue because I know it doesn’t worry anyone but me, and even if they do think he’s a bit slow, so what? They will never see him again anyway.

It’s not just other people though, he’s so tall and he has been walking for so long now that I have to stop myself from expecting too much from him too. It’s so easy to compare him to other children of his size, or even smaller, and to encourage him to do what they are doing. I subconsciously seem to think he should be talking by now, and understanding what we say more and basically be able to respond to us way more maturely than you should expect from a 15 month old. I feel like he is so uncoordinated when he is climbing and gets his limbs all in a tangle sometimes but I have to remind myself that he has a big body for his age and long limbs to try and get to do what he wants.

We were at a soft play centre the other week and a toddler who was so much smaller than him was climbing up the step ladders and over rope ladders and just wow he was so coordinated in comparison that I couldn’t help feeling bad for Monkey. So I try and help him do a bit more, but I don’t want to be a pushy mother either. I will help when he wants to climb things and soothe him when he’s frustrated but I don’t want to force anything on him, I know he’ll develop at his own pace.

Hubby is 6’2″ and his family are all tall. With the exception of my mum, I come from a tall family too. I’m 5’7″, which ok isn’t massively tall, but it’s not petite either, so I guess it’s understandable.

It feels like he has shot up again recently as he is a bit leaner, less of a baby tummy, so I guess it’s on my mind. His feet are huge too, infant size 6G already. But Daddy has reeeeally big feet (and scarily long toes) so I think Monkey gets that from him!

Anyone else out there have a really big baby or ever felt the same?

Over the summer, Monkey and I have been spending a lot of time with my mummy friends and their children. It’s great because the kids get out a lot to burn off some energy, and we get some company to natter and vent to. It is also great because 3 pairs of eyes are better than one, especially in busy play areas where the are lots of other children. Our town park has a big sand pit which the kids all love. People take their own buckets and spades and, kids being kids, there are some slight tussles over ownership, as when they are that little, everything is ‘mine!’

Being the summer holidays though there are also a lot of older kids about, so again it helps having extra sets of eyes. No matter how observant you are you just can’t keep your eyes fixed on your child every millisecond of the day. And you can guarantee that in the split second that you turn away, something has happened that has left one child angry and another in tears, but with you having no idea what caused the fracas. Having three sets of mummy eyes helps with this sometimes but not always.

Ok so all kids go through phases of pushing boundaries and testing their limits. They are egocentric at the best of times and think everything is theirs, hence the problems that arise over toys and things in the play area. But, as parents, I think anyway, that it is up to us to teach them through repetition the best way to handle these situations. In ways that don’t involve hitting or pushing or shouting at each other. Teaching calmly about sharing and turn taking. I’m not saying that it is easy to do but I think it’s a life skill that they need.

Some children are naturally a bit more boisterous than others, but also, some parents are a bit more hands off in their approach and would rather the children resolve it themselves. I’m not judging as I know we are all just doing the best we can, but it is difficult of your style of parenting doesn’t match the people around you in the play area. I am lucky that my friends and I have similar attitudes towards raising our kids, of course we do some things differently but on the whole it’s pretty similar. None of us think smacking is a good idea, we try and get them all to eat healthily and we encourage them to share and play nicely together.

Disciplining someone else’s child is a massively difficult area. My friends and I gently tell each other’s children No, if we know it is what each other would say. But that’s because we know each other quite well and know what is and isn’t acceptable for them. Even then though you don’t want to cross the line. The problem with play areas and things is that  if your child is having a to-do with another kid, if you’re the first parent to see it, then what do you do?

Two little boys had a fight at the park yesterday over one of their buckets. The boy who it belonged to was really upset but the other boy, who wanted it was getting more and more aggressive. Unfortunately the aggressive boy’s mum didn’t realise what was happening for a while, so the other little boy’s mummy had to try and tell him to give the bucket back as it was not his, which he was not going to do! Eventually the other mummy saw what was going on and made him give the bucket back, but it raises a difficult question. How far can you tell off (discipline seems a strong word) someone else’s child?

Or what do you do if someone else’s child is overly aggressive towards yours, but their parent says and does nothing? Do you try and walk away or do you tell off the other child, or try to talk to the parent? Maybe it depends how far things have got. Or what if it goes the other way, and they discipline their child by being aggressive with them 0r smacking them? Leave it up to them how best to discipline their child I suppose. But it’s difficult to teach your child not to be aggressive and not to hit etc, if other parents allow their children to do it to them.

I can’t say I know the answers, at the moment as Monkey is still quite little I just try and steer him away from these situations and concentrate on telling him not to snatch etc. But I know that this issue will raise it’s head many times over the next few years or so! Perhaps I should just focus on how I want to discipline Monkey and try and just keep that in mind rather than worrying too much about other people’s children!

I’ve written a little on this subject before, talking about the mealtime battles we are having at the moment, but it is still weighing on my mind a lot. I have always tried really hard to give Monkey a lot of variety in his food, following advice that says this will help his tastes develop and mean he doesn’t grow fussy. During weaning he was always really good and there was of course a few things he didn’t like, but he generally ate whatever we gave him, fruit, vegetables, everything.

Then it just seemed to change. Where he used to eat apple quite happily, now he won’t touch it. He loved Pasta, but now either won’t touch it, or spits it out. Luckily there is still a lot of good, nutritious food that he will eat, and he is good with cooked vegetables etc but I do worry about his fussiness and it really limits what I can give him. We also have the battles where, when I can get him to taste the food, he realises he likes it and eats it happily, and I am trying so many different tricks and methods to get him to eat and it is so draining. Sometimes if the TV is on, he’ll eat whatever is in front of him. Sometimes if we leave him alone he will eat better. Sometimes having his own fork with something on it, will make him take that first bite. But none of these things work all the time, and some of them aren’t ideal. I certainly don’t want to have to have the TV on at most mealtimes just to make sure he eats!

I have been reading a variety of sources to get help with this and am still none the wiser! Should I just give him the food and then it’s up to him if he eats? But then what happens for the rest of the day when he is miserable and cranky because he is tired having not eaten. It just makes the next mealtime worse and the time in between completely miserable for both of us. I have on occasion tried to force feed him – just to try and get him to take that first bite – but then I come to my senses because of course that isn’t the way to go!

There are a number of websites online aimed at helping parents with this sort of thing and all are happy to share their wisdom. Some makes you feel better, others really don’t! Cow and Gate baby club was saying how bad it is for the child to watch TV while eating (Making me feel like a bad mother), then I was reading Mumsnet and their article suggests that occasionally watching TV during a meal isn’t all bad (feeling less like a bad mother). They of course do have some more useful advice. For example apparently about 50% of all toddlers are fussy eaters so I am not alone.

I’ve always been a big fan of Supernanny Jo Frost and so bought her book ‘Confident Toddler Care’ which I really like for her no nonsense approach. But I have to say I was a bit gutted to read last night that in 20 years she has never had a fussy eater and that the reason for this is that Parents create the fussy eater. Thanks Jo, feeling so good right now! I’ve tried my best, I’ve always given him mostly homemade meals with a variety of fruits and vegetables, so why has he gotten fussy lately. Of course I don’t expect an answer, but obviously I have gone wrong somewhere down the line, though god knows where!

One thing I have read is that it takes 12-15 times for a new food to be accepted by the palate, but am I alone in thinking that’s a hell of a lot of wasted food? Who has the money to buy and waste food 15 times? And do you let them eat something else that they do like each time you offer them this new food, to make sure they eat something?  And what about the food they used to like, and now don’t? Their palate has obviously got used to it but they now won’t eat it so what are you supposed to do?

I go backwards and forwards on the whole topic and drive myself round the bend. Sometimes I decide not to stress about it and to just feed him the things I know he does like over and over again, but then again we sometimes still have the trouble of getting him to take a bite in the first place! And I’ve read that he’ll eat when he’s hungry, but sometimes he is so hungry that he’s exhausted and is barely awake, but that doesn’t make the feeding any easier, in fact when he isn’t quite so desperately hungry he eats a little better, but if he’s not hungry enough when we have different problems. It just isn’t easy. No matter which way I look at it, there doesn’t seem to be any easy solution to the problems we’re facing.

I guess I just have to take things one step at a time. We are trying to reduce the amount of meals where the TV is turned on. We are trying to introduce some new foods alongside other meals (this morning he put the tiniest sliver of grape in his mouth, and I was really pleased, until he retched and nearly threw up his fruity yoghurt) and most importantly I am trying to stay calm, even if he won’t eat and not try and force feed him at all, even if just to get him to take the first bite. I’m also trying to cut back on the number of biscuits and sweet things he has. We were so good in the early days but as mealtimes have got harder we have come to rely on them more, because at least then we knew he was eating something, but that has to stop too. I am still reading supernanny’s book, but all the solutions seem to be aimed at much older children with a higher level of understanding and reasoning that at nearly 14 months, Monkey doesn’t have.

Anyway I am sure this won’t be the last post about mealtimes so will keep you posted!