I made a conscious decision that my word for this week was going to be positive. Normally, I see how the week goes and think about the best word to fit. This week however I decided in advance that my word this week was going to be “Positive”.
Because, at the end of last week I was feeling decidedly negative. I made the decision to apply to be a Butlins Ambassador, and while I would absolutely love the opportunity, part of me actually feels like I wish I hadn’t gone for it. Why? because they wanted to know all of my blogger stats. Page views, followers etc. In general I try not to think too much about these kinds of things, mainly because whenever you start comparing yourself to others it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking you aren’t doing as well as them. But to apply I had to provide them with this information and I felt like I was doing well enough or something.
For the most part I am really happy with my blog, I love writing it but since being pregnant I have scaled back a little. I have stopped my linky for the time being, and I haven’t been able to commit as much time to it as I previously was. That’s life and a conscious decision I made as I felt I wasn’t managing. I get lots of fantastic comments from lovely readers and I have been happy with that.
But having to write my stats and figures down on paper, made me feel lacking. I am the type of person who likes to succeed at what I do. If I am going to do something I want to do it well. Not because I want awards or recognition, but because I like to feel I am doing well at something. Filling out the form made me feel like I wasn’t. Then I kept reading about so many lovely bloggers having a fantastic time at Britmums, and I felt like I was missing out on things that could have helped me improve.
Making a choice
So I had to give myself a bit of a talking to. Remind myself why I am writing the blog and that facts and figures don’t mean anything. Remind myself that I made the decision not to go to Britmums because I couldn’t predict how I would be coping with my pregnancy and SPD. In actual fact I don’t think I could have coped being on my feet that long so it was the right decision not to go. There is no point being upset about something that has happened and is done with.
I decided that this week was not going to be a negative one. I made a choice, I accepted my feelings but decided to turn them into something positive. I decided to get organised. (I’m not saying this was easy but I was determined to try).
We had a lovely weekend, had some fun at my Mum‘s on Saturday, caught up with some friends and set some Summer Goals to join in with #GetGoodSummer. Then on Monday, as my parents took Monkey to Rhyme Time and I had some me-time, I decided to catch up on getting my blog organised. Sorted out my Kred and Klout-ing as I hadn’t done anything with them for ages. Got some of the many posts I had in my head at least started as drafts. Rather than feeling down about my blog or feel that it was lacking, I decided to take hold of the situation and try to find ways of improving it. At least then I know I am trying my best!
With that done, the rest of the week has had it’s, um, challenges when it came to staying positive. My pelvis has been bothering me a lot, which is a shame, but it just means I need to focus on my exercises and try to make it better. Monday/Tuesday were testing days and I found it quite hard to be positive, as I seem to be reaching the point in pregnancy where sleep is getting harder, and being tired all day was getting me down. Then some cooler weather arrived Tuesday night, I got a much better night’s sleep and I really started to actually feel more positive. I had a lovely time with a friend on Wednesday, started an Aquanatal Yoga class on Wednesday night (more on that to come soon) and Monkey and I had a lovely day in the sun on Thursday.
I’ve also read some fantastic blogs this week about BritMums live, both sharing some of the top tips they got while they were there, (very handy thank you for sharing ladies) but also talking about how it made them feel about their blogs. It reminded me I am not the only one feeling the way that I do sometimes, and made me focus again on why I am doing it and what I really want to get from it. High stats, sponsored posts and freebies to review are lovely perks but they aren’t why I started this post in the first place. As long as I am doing what I set out to do, then I shouldn’t see it as failing.
I don’t know if my stats and figures are improving, and I don’t know if I will be picked as a Butlins Ambassador, but while I would love it if both of those things were true, even if they aren’t, I am not going to let myself feel too down about it. I am going to keep going as I am and focus on doing the best at this that I can, even if that doesn’t result in me being as successful as some other bloggers. There are things I can do to improve but I am not going to do it at the expense of my sanity or Monkey’s happiness, or my relationship with Hubby. I only have so much time and energy and while my blog is a priority for me (say above housework ;)) it will never be a higher priority than my family.
So coming out of this week I am feeling a lot more positive than I was at the outset, and I am proud of that.