Our little reader – 28 mths

Storytime at 3 mths old

We have read books to Monkey since he was tiny. Both hubs and I love reading books to him and it has been a major part of the bedtime routine since he was just a few months old. As a result, Monkey loves books. He is constantly bombarding us with books saying “go read, go read, go read” until we comply with his demands!

Now that his speech is rapidly developing he likes saying words and pointing out the names of things in books. He’s also ‘reading’ or rather he has memorised some of his favourite books and joins in with reading them. One of his favourite books (at the moment) is one that Daddy doesn’t even like, “The Tiger who Came to Tea”. Monkey loves it. He goes through fits and starts with lots of his books, insisting on the same one for days at a time, and then moving onto another.

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Fun at Nanny’s house

Posted by Caroline Elliott

As this pregnancy progresses I have been very lucky that my parents have been able to help out more with Monkey. The shop my Mum worked in recently closed down, meaning she has gone from semi-retired to retired, and the timing of this has worked out so well as it means she is able to spend more time with Monkey (allowing me to rest). Usually my Mum pops round on a Wednesday and takes Monkey out somewhere for a run around, but with the forecast looking so dire this week, she invited us round to her house instead.
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Our day out at Sacrewell Farm, Peterborough

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Monkey has a thing about tractors at the moment. He loves playing with them, looking at them and talking about them. While reading one of his tractor books a few days ago he kept asking if he could ride on the tractors… which is slightly difficult when they are in a book! I started thinking about where we could go for tractor rides and thought about a great farm which is really close to where we live – Sacrewell Farm. Perfect!

Both hubs and I remember visiting Sacrewell Farm as kids but it has changed a lot over the years. We took Monkey last year but bless him he was terrified of the noisy sheep so we hadn’t been since. He is of course older now and with his new-found love of Tractors we decided it was worth a visit. Plus I knew they had completely renovated their indoor play barn since we last went so if the weather turned or he was still afraid of sheep, there was still lots to do. So after checking the weather forecast a few times we headed over there on Sunday, which was a glorious day and possibly the last one we will have for a while.
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Why I love being a SAHM

Posted by Caroline Elliott

Being a SAHM isn’t always easy, but I do love it, for many reasons. One of the things I don’t love about being a SAHM though is the judgement that sometimes surrounds it. There has been a few things recently (including someone insinuating that I am a sponger because I don’t work) that has made me want to write this post about why being a SAHM works for me and my family.

Before I go any further, a little disclaimer, this is purely personal and all about me and my family. I do not believe all mums should be SAHMs and I am not judging anyone for the choices they have made or the way they think best to raise and support their families. Different strokes for different folks is what I believe but it can be difficult to talk about the positives of being a SAHM without being seen as judgemental or critical of working mums. That is not how this post is intended, it is purely about me and my family.

There were various things that affected my decision to be a SAHM. I wrote about it at the time here, when I first started this blog, but put simply, this is why I am a SAHM.

The financial side

I know I am very fortunate that we can afford to live on my husband’s salary alone. He has worked really hard to get where he is and works darn hard every day for a business he has built and believes in. Sometimes his head is so full of work it is hard to get him to step back and enjoy family time with us, but I know his work is a huge part of who he is and allows us to live the life that we do. We are by no means ‘well-off,’ we are fairly comfortable but we life on fairly strict budgets and are very careful with our money.

After Monkey was born we were undecided about whether or not I would go back to work part time as of course more money would make things more comfortable. Unfortunately when looking at childcare costs, they would pretty much have negated any earnings I brought in. I never earned a huge salary and particularly if I was part time I would not have earned enough to make it really worthwhile.

I know for many families there are grandparents willing to help but that isn’t the case with us. Monkey’s grandparents are all wonderful and supportive and he has a fantastic relationship with them. But none of them wished to be a permanent carer for him, week in, week out, and we didn’t really want that either. They have lives of their own and have done their years of child-raising, now they want to be the fun grandparents. I am not criticising anyone who does have grandparents who help out with childcare as again different things work for different people. It just wasn’t an option for us or our parents.

This comes back to how lucky we are that we can live on hubby’s salary and I don’t need to work. If we were not able to manage financially without my added income then of course we would have figured something out. I would have found a job working evenings, weekends or early mornings if necessary to fit around hubby’s work and cover costs. I have worked as a waitress and a cleaner before and would not be too proud to do so again if financially we needed it. If I had been the higher earner we would again have figured it out. But we don’t have to, thankfully, as I would hate to be passing my husband like ships in the night!

I know for some Mums, not working or earning money from an outside source leads them to feeling they aren’t contributing. I guess all I can say is that for me, while I know I am not contributing financially, I am contributing. By raising Monkey and looking after him myself full time, it means we don’t have to pay someone else to do it for us. So it comes full circle. I could be earning money but then it would be going out straight away to cover childcare costs, and what would be the point?

Well, I am sure some women would say that the point is that they love what they do, That they need the intellectual stimulation. That they would rather be at work than at home looking after children all day. I can understand that and again don’t judge any woman for making that decision. And I won’t lie, there are times that being a SAHM can feel monotonous, and it can be exhausting, and lonely. But, I do find the rewards of being a SAHM more than make up for it, for me. Plus there are ways to get that stimulation, to break the monotony, without having to go to work. Blogging for one! 🙂 Or doing any hobby that interests and challenges you.

So what are the rewards of which I speak, well this is where I get really happy. This is where I get to the positives that make me smile and puff up my chest with pride.

Why I love being a SAHM

I know my child better than anyone else. I know how to get him to try something new (even when he is adamantly shouting no). I know his current favourites. Be it phrases, activities, colours. I am the one with him nearly all day everyday and I know how all of his little individual quirks and eccentricities. I was the one who was with him when he said his first word, when he walked for the first time, the first time he counted to ten. No-one else has told me about these developments, I have seen them for myself.

I get to teach him. And take pride when he learns things as a result of the activities we do. I taught him (gradually in a fun, playing is learning way) how to count to ten. We are now working on letters. I am also teaching him about the world, more and more every day. I am teaching him manners, how to treat other people, and how not to.

I’m not saying you don’t get to do these things when you are a working parent but it has to be a bit different when someone else is caring for your child for a significant amount of time. There has to be a level of trust there that they are teaching the same beliefs as you would. That your child doesn’t get away with things with their carer that they wouldn’t with you. For a control freak like me that would be a concern and I like knowing that Monkey is learning what we think is right (we may not get it right all of the time but we are finding our way and it is our way, noone elses).

We have fun and try new things together. One of the ways to break the monotony is by experimenting with new things. doing new things together. This blog is a great motivator for that too as I like to be able to experiment with crafts and activities and talk about them here. Plus there are so many other fab blogs with tonnes of ideas for things to do together! We bake, paint and draw. We build, read and talk. We go on walks and explore the world. I see the world through his eyes.

Even at the moment, at 8 months pregnant and pretty exhausted, I love being with him. I need more help with him at the moment but I miss him when he’s not here, and I love when he comes back. He tests my patience and exasperates me. Some days he drives me potty because he is 2 and can be really irrational and over complicate things. But he is wonderful and funny too. He is kind and loving, methodical and imaginative. He gives the best cuddles and has the most infectious laugh.

I love that I am lucky enough to be the one who sees him at his best, and at his worst. In a couple of years time he will be going off to school and as he gets older he will move slowly but surely further away from his Mummy. He will grow up. I love that I am lucky enough to be able to spend this time with him now. I cherish it.

Just as wanting to go to out to work doesn’t make you any less of a mother, wanting to stay home and raise my children doesn’t make me any less of a person. Any less intelligent or interesting. In a world where so much emphasis is placed on what you ‘do’ and how hard you work, it can be difficult to feel proud of being a SAHM. I sometimes feel that I have to justify to some people why I feel being a SAHM is the best thing for my family and I at the moment. I know I don’t have to, and I very rarely bother. If someone wants to pass judgement then go ahead… but deep down it does bother me. I can’t help it, it just does.

I don’t know whether I will be a SAHM forever, I imagine I will want to work maybe part time when the children are at school, but for now, I love being a SAHM.

Letter learning blanket

Posted by Caroline Elliott

My Mum, aka Nanny, is a very clever crafter and loves making quilts. We have so many fabulous quilts in our house, and they are all gorgoeus and so handy for various situations. Her most recent one has to be one of my favourites though. Because this one is a fab quilt for Monkey that as well as being a gorgeous quilt, it also doubles as a fun game! A game that will also help Monkey start to learn his letters.

Nanny has made this gorgeous letter learning blanket with pictures to accompany each letter.

She has also made a set of matching bean bags with each letter on.

Monkey adores this blanket and loves playing the letter game. He regularly brings the blanket or a bag of bean bag letters out to me as a clear sign he wants to play the letter game.

He’s actually pretty good at it too, of course he doesn’t always get every letter right (hardly surprising at only 2 1/2) but he does really well. You could easily make a smaller paper version of this game and I actually think it is a great way to just have fun with letters and help with the recognition of shapes with the sound.

So how does it work?

Well, we lay the blanket out on the floor and tip all of the beanbags out on the sofa.

I then give him the letter beanbags one by one, sounding out the letter and at the moment I also say the word related to the picture on the blanket. I heard somewhere that it helps if you sound letters out as with the phonetic alpabet as it helps when they go to school and are learning to read, so we do that (or as near to it as I can remember!)

For example I give him the D beanbag and say “can you find Duh for Dog” and he runs off to the blanket usually repeating “duh for dog” finds the picture and the letter and then puts the beanbag down. He is very good at putting the beanbag letter on top of the letter on the blanket (rather than just in the square) and more often than not, the right way round. So I am quite impressed with him.

He is a lucky Monkey having such a talented Nanny and he loves this game! Plus hopefully it is helping him to learn his letters, he is such a sponge and really loves to learn so it is great for him.

Lifting the veil of denial

Posted by Caroline Elliott

The world can be a cruel place sometimes and you just have to read a newspaper on any given day to see so many horrific things happening. From accidents to acts of atrocity. When you think too hard about it, the world does not seem a very safe place. Scary enough when you are on your own, but as a parent, responsible for the lives of children, it can be extra scary. Hubby and I have a theory that because of this, we all live in a semi-permanent state of denial. Everyone does.

Otherwise we would never step foot outside our front door, or we may never even get out of bed. The truth, that our existence is so fragile and that horrible things could happen at any given moment, is just too terifying for our brains to deal with most of the time. So in general, we live our lives in a state of denial. We try to be careful, but how many of us have done things or allowed our children to do things, that in hindsight could be seen as less than sensible? I know I have. Especially in my younger days when I was travelling, I put myself in what now seem to be obviously dangerous situations, but at the time, just seemed harmless fun.

It may just be me, but sometimes, when driving down a motorway or over a bridge, I suddenly become aware how one wrong move, just a sharp turn of the wheel for example, could lead to a horrific accident. Or if one of the other road users did something like that, how it could be the end of me. When you think about it too much, it can seem amazing that there aren’t more accidents, that we have survived this long. Because even everyday activities carry hazards and dangers that for the most part we all blissfully ignore.

And of course we do. What would be the alternative? A life lived in fear? Never turning on a socket in case you got electrocuted? Never speaking to another human being in case they are a rapist or murderer? Never crossing a road in case you got hit by a bus? What kind of life is that? Of course there is a scale and some people are naturally more wary or superstitious than others, but most of us, live with a veil of denial blurring the edges. We try and be careful and keep our kids safe but we don’t linger too long on the possibilities and the dangers. Because to do so would drive you crazy.

Then every now and then, something happens in your life that briefly lifts that veil. That reminds you how fragile we are, how every day where something horrible doesn’t happen, is a gift. We had an experience like that this weekend. Nothing newsworthy, but something that reminds you that even if you were the most cautious person alive, there would be no guarantee of your safety or survival.

On Saturday evening my husband’s auntie had a stroke. She is in her 60’s, similar age to our parents and not what I would consider “old”. Now I am going to cut to the chase and say there was a happy ending. After a horrible 24 hours or so in limbo with the Drs using the term “if” she wakes up, and with us all trying to prepare ourselves for the worst, she thankfully woke up. She remembers her husband and relatives and can move her arms. Of course she is not out of the woods yet and she has slurred speech, but, she is still here.

But for those 24 hours, that was by no means a certainty. The veil of denial came off and reminded us that you never know what is going to happen. You can be happily living your life, cooking your dinner, and then boom. Something terrible happens. The world as you know it is forever changed. Someone you love is hurt, or worse, gone forever.

I know this is quite a depressing post and I apologise. Believe me I am so relieved that all worked out so well. Hubs and I both slept so well last night, I think because of the emotional exhaustion combined with the relief that things did not turn out so much worse. We have to cling to the positives, that is what keeps us going. So I am going to lower the veil of denial again, move way from the horrible “what ifs” that otherwise would drown me. I am going to remember how lucky we are every day.

National Trust Blickling Hall

Posted by Caroline Elliott

On the way to our little holiday in Norfolk last week we decided to take the opportunity to stop off at a fabulous National Trust property I have wanted to visit for a while, Blickling Hall.

The Blickling Estate is huge and has so much to do see and do, with a variety of walks and cycle rides you can do. They even have holiday cottages on the estate as there is so much you can do there, much more than you could do in a day!

Because we were just stopping off for a fairly short visit, and because even with my pelvis support I can’t walk as much as I normally would at the moment, we confined our visit to the lovely gardens and grounds surrounding the house. With one of the prime reasons for the stop off being so that Monkey could run around and burn off some energy, we decided not to go into the house.

When we arrived, a lovely lady asked whether Monkey would like to do a scavenger hunt in the gardens, and of course we jumped at the chance. So he was given a lovely little basket and a list of things to find – which included some different seeds, something fuzzy, something round, etc, etc. So we set off to stretch our legs from the car journey, and see what we could find.

The grounds and gardens are so beautiful and there is so many different paths and directions you can go. Daddy loved showing Monkey the different seeds, such as sweet chustnuts and acorns, and Monkey loved collecting things like sticks and stones and popping them in his basket.

While we hunted for acorns we found a lovely fluffy looking caterpillar on the floor which Monkey was fascinated by!

When it was time for lunch we took the basket back to one of the lovely volunteers and showed her what Monkey had collected, and Monkey got a sticker! We could have get all of our, er…. souvenirs but as we were going to the holiday home we decided to leave them behind 🙂

After a lovely lunch we had a a bit more of a run around and Monkey was very brave, walking the along a huge fallen tree!

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Soon enough it was time to continue our journey to the holiday cottage. As ever though we had a lovely time at the National Trust house and look forward to visitng Blickling Hall again at some point, hopefully with enough time to see inside the house and see more of the estate!

Evening fun with daddy

Posted by Caroline Elliott

The days are getting shorter and the evenings are drawing in, but for the moment it is still quite warm at least. When Daddy comes home just after 6 in the evening it is family dinner time, but after dinner is very much Monkey and Daddy time. Monkey loves the time he gets to spend with his Daddy and lately they have been very much making the most of the warm evenings and having a lot fun in the garden between dinner and bathtime. Monkey always has loads of energy at this time of day so I guess that’s why it is called the witching hour!

Most of the time I leave them to it but a couple of times lately I have poked my head out to watch the giggles.

Sometimes they do a bit of gardening, and Monkey loves running under the stream of water from the hose if Daddy is watering the plants.

Sometimes they just run around like a pair of loonies, or play in the sand pit, or on his climbing frame.

Whatever they do though they have a lot of fun together and the fun continues into bathtime. There was so much giggling at bathtime the other day that I poked my head in… to be told “bye mummy, close the door” by Monkey. Charming eh? I know when I am not wanted! 😉 Made me chuckle and made me very happy to know he was just having fun with his Daddy 🙂

Evenings at the beach

Posted by Caroline Elliott

We had a lovely little holiday at Overstrand, just south of Cromer on the Norfolk Coast at the weekend and we really had such a lovely time. There was a lovely beach at the village itself, walking distance from the cottage we were staying at. It is very much a tidal beach and unfortunately this last weekend there were high tides in the morning and low tides later in the day. With Monkey still very much napping most afternoons we weren’t sure how much time we would get to spend at the beach.

Thankfully with it being so close though we managed to pop down every afternoon/evening for a play in the sand, and had a lovely time. Of course being September it wasn’t the warmest time of day to be on the beach but that didn;t stop us having a lovely time, and making the most of the last of the suns rays!

Monkey loves playing in the sand, doing lots of digging and helping daddy make castles… then promptly knocking them over again! Daddy was aso having lots of fun digging and creating moats, because of the tides he didn’t have to dig the sand too far before it started filling with water. Perfect to make a moated castle 🙂

He also just loves running around barefoot on the sand, and I have to admit I love to see it. There’s just something about running on the compacted sand that means he can be entirely free. No shoes, no stumbling over, just running carefree. I just love to see it. Maybe it’s because I know that if he falls he will have a pretty soft landing. Yes he may get covered in sand but much better than falling over on tarmac!

I love this little video of Monkey running around on the beach. Note I am perched at the back of the beach as we forgot a chair (d’oh!), I managed the walks but couldn’t stand too long and would have got a soggy bottom if I sat on the sand! ANyway we just love this video of Monkey enjoying the beach so much 🙂

We had a bit of an achievement on the beach too on one of the days. On our holiday in June we couldn’t get Monkey to enjoy paddling and this weekend looked set to be the same as he didn’t want to go anywhere near the sea. Then Daddy had a good idea of drawing numbers in the sand. I have mentioned Monkey’s love of numbers before and believe me it has not dimmed, if anything he loves them even more!

Anyway, by drawing numbers in the sand he slowly and gradually coaxed Monkey closer to the waters edge. We wouldn’t force him if he really didn’t want to do it but with lots of positivity and encouragement he gradually got closer and closer to the waves.The sea was quite gentle on that particular day, and ater running bare foot on the wet sand for a while the water felt quite warm.

It took a little while but once he was in he was in, and actually got quite brave and went pretty deep (for him)!

The sun was starting to go down behind the cliffs so it was time to head back to the cottage, we were very glad we got to make th most of being at the seaside though with lots of beach play!

Linking up with Mini Creations for the joint Monkey-Daddy effort on the moated castle, Small Steps Amazing Achievements and Loud n Proud for Monkey’s paddling bravery, and Savouring the Season for making the most of the last bit of warmth on the beach :).

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A little Norfolk Holiday

Posted by Caroline Elliott

At the weekend we took our little family on a short little Norfolk holiday. Our last little holiday as a family of 3 before baby arrives! We looked at a variety of places to go but it was all last minute (as we wanted to see how I and my pelvis were faring before we booked anything) and didn’t want to go too far from home as long car journies aren’t great fun in late pregnancy.

We considered going to Butlins as then there would be no cooking involved, but even on offer we thought the food packages were quite pricey and honestly we weren’t convinced about the quality of the accommodation. I don’t mean that to sound snobbish but we wanted to be comfortable. With Hubby being as tall as he is (6’2″) we really need a king size bed, especially now I am the size that I am too! But we also wanted it to be a good bed. We stayed at a Premier Inn when we went to a wedding recently and honestly had such a rubbish nights sleep as the King Size bed there was basically solid as a rock. We wanted this to be a lovely relaxed holiday and so wanted to find somewhere offering comfort.

(I’m sure there would be other benefits to going to Butlins such as the other things included, but with Monkey the age he is I am not sure how much use he would have got out of the other activities on offer, he is generally happy as long as he can have a run around somewhere!)

After a bit of a search we came across Poppyland Holiday Cottages. They have a number of holiday cottages to rent in Norfolk and they had availability at Rectory Cottage in Overstrand, just south of Cromer on the Norfolk coast. We felt that with doing breakfasts ourself and eating out all of the other meals it would still cost around the same as a Butlins trip, and we would hopefully have more spacious and more comfy accommodation.

We were not disappointed!

The cottage was gorgeous and the lovely king size bed was perfect, not too soft, not too firm… just lovely really. I even slept better on that bed than I have at home on our lovely bed recently, it was wonderful.

There was lots of little touches that welcomed us to the cottage including milk in the fridge, a bottle of wine, tea bags, yummy chocolate biscuits and fresh flowers. They were very family friendly too, and, knowing we had a 2 year old with us, they kindly provided a lovely box of toys for Monkey (you may see in some of the pictures that Monkey very quickly aquainted himself with the toys!) and a baby monitor. They also have a travel cot, high chair and stairgates available if you need them. Very reassuring when you have little ones and lovely not to need to pack everything.

Overstrand village was a very sweet little village and we were walking distance from the beach (even for me!) which was lovely – although the tides were not in our favour much this week and generally low tide was in the afternoon during Monkey’s naps. We still managed to get some good beach fun in the evenings though and the weather was very good to us.

We spent some time at Cromer and nearby Sheringham and in general had a lovely relaxed weekend together. Sadly Monkey came down with a cold on the Saturday so we did have some wonderful grumpy meltdowns in restaurants which as a parent always make you feel wonderful. We let him have ice cream for lunch on Saturday as he seemed to have a sore throat and it was the only thing that cheered him up – but oh my you should have seen the judgement and disapproving looks coming from other people in the cafe. We weren’t too concerned and chuckled if anything, but I do wish people would mind their own!

We did lots of holiday things – played on the beach, walked the promenade and went on Cromer Pier. We played with stones on Sheringham beach and ate lots of Ice Cream! We went in the penny arcades where Monkey proved to be hugely skilful at one of the games and won enough tickets to get himself a cool glider aeroplane. He was very pleased with this and we were quite impressed by his skill/fluke! 🙂 We treated ourselves to some lovely meals out, including a yummy fry up breakfast at the local cliff top cafe in Overstrand one morning.

A couple of more detailed posts about specific places to follow, but here are a few of our fave shots of what was a lovely and relaxed few days away, at a gorgeous holiday cottage! It was a lovely little cottage in a great spot and we will definitely look to go back at some point when no.2 is here!

Becoming a Stay at Home Mum

Can I really do this?

Family

Our little reader – 28 mths

Fun at Nanny’s house

Our day out at Sacrewell Farm, Peterborough

Why I love being a SAHM

The financial side

Why I love being a SAHM

Letter learning blanket

Lifting the veil of denial

National Trust Blickling Hall

Evening fun with daddy

Evenings at the beach

A little Norfolk Holiday