Parenting

#MaternityMondays Week 2

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Welcome back to #MaternityMondays! Hosted by myself and Emma over at Farmers Wife & Mummy, where you can link up any posts about your pregnancy, babies, being on maternity leave or about weaving your way through the minefield that is parenting. It is open to dad’s too, we just like the alliteration of #MaternityMondays 🙂

Thank you so much to all you lovely bloggers who linked up last week, we were thrilled to see so many of you join us for our first week and loved reading all of your posts! As Emma was hosting last week here are her favourites from last week:

“Another Bun wrote a great post about her birth plan for a caesarean. It was such a refreshing change to see someone do that as I always worried a c-section meant no plans.

 Another refreshing post was from Gym Bunny Mummy who says breast isn’t always best for everyone. Having struggles with my first child, I totally know where she is coming from. 

 The Life of Wife was packing her hospital bag for baby number 2 so that is always worth a read-even if you have had a baby before. There were a couple of things on her list that weren’t on mine so I will be checking them off against each other.”

This last week has felt like a long one in our house. Hubby has been back at work so we have been trying to get back to a bit of a normal routine… which with a 2 1/2 month old who likes changing her routine every few days, really isn’t that easy! We’ve also had a big proud mummy moment as Monkey started playgroup, so I am linking up my post about that.

Now it is over to you! Please grab our badge and share the linky love by commenting on a few other blog posts, it would be lovely if we could grow a little community to share the highs and lows of motherhood and parenting. It is my turn to host this week and I am really looking forward to reading your posts!

Don’t forget to tweet your link using #MaternityMondays, and if you tag us in we will retweet, we are @BecomingaSAHM and @EmmaLander2

MaternityMondays

Monkey’s first day at playgroup!

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This week was a big day for us as it was Monkey’s first day at playgroup! Looking after Monkey, raising him and teaching him about the world has been my job since he was born. It is why I wanted to be a SAHM and I feel privileged that I have been able to do so for this long. However there are many reasons why we think it will be good for him to go to playgroup. One day he will have to go to school and we want to be able to ease him into it, first of all with a couple of days of playgroup, then preschool before he starts school. The local playgroup generally feeds into the local school so our hope is that he will make friends at playgroup and pre-school and that they will move up together to school one day.

Making friends is the biggest reason we have been keen for him to go to playgroup as although he sees my friends’ children, with jobs and other commitments he doesn’t see them quite so often anymore and it would be nice for him to have more time playing with other children. But he has never been left without me, hubs or his grandparents before so we knew it would be a big change for him, and for us, for him to be in someone else’s care.

He was originally due to start in November, when he was 2 1/2, but with LM being born we didn’t want to make such a big change at that time, as we didn’t want him to feel that he was being taken there because  she was here. So we delayed his start date until after Christmas as we felt that would be the best time for a new start to the routine, and Friday afternoon was his first day.

WP_20150109_18_57_43_ProWe had been trying to prepare him and help him feel enthusiastic and excited about starting playgroup in the run up to the big day. We were recommended a lovely book by a friend who had used it with her son to help him prepare for playgroup, “Lulu Loves Nursery.”* We substituted the word nursery for playgroup but it is a really lovely book and talks about how Lulu is worried about being without her mummy, and feels shy at first, but then decides to be brave and she really loves her day at nursery. It is a great book and also comes with a certificate you can fill out and give to them at the end of their first day.

Monkey absolutely adores this book and we have been reading it over and over since we gave it to him, it has definitely helped Monkey with the concept of me leaving him there but coming back again afterwards. It has also helped that our playgroup provided a little leaflet, which reads like a story, about all of the things you can do there.

The big day dawned and we had a fairly quiet morning at home to make sure he was well rested. Daddy didn’t want to miss it so he came home and we all went off to playgroup together. Monkey had his little backpack on and was dead excited, running basically all the way there and dragging Daddy along! We got there much quicker than I thought we would have actually so had to wait outside for a little while!

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When it was time to go in, Monkey was straight in there, playing with puzzles, he didn’t seem bothered about us at all. We decided not to hang about too long so said our goodbyes after a few minutes and headed out. He only gave us cursory hugs and goodbyes, but as we were leaving we did see a bit of a sad fac, though we heard no cries and saw no tears.

We were both a bit on edge that afternoon, though I think because I still had LM to deal with I was a little less anxious than hubs who was back at work, unable to focus! I did keep an eye on my phone though in case they called but we heard nothing. When we went to collect him the staff said that he had been a little upset, and cried a few times, but that they had been able to distract him with books and toys each time and he had got over his tears.

At the end of the session they have all the children sat together to wait for their parents and then call them out one by one to us parents who are waiting in the foyer, though they can’t see us. I didn’t really know how they did it and if I had I would have asked if he could come out first, but I didn’t so they called out 4 or 5 other children before calling him out, so by the time he came out to us he was very unhappy again. I can understand it as from his perspective, sitting there waiting for mummy and daddy, watching other children go out to their parents, wondering if we were coming for him, it must have been pretty scary.

WP_20150111_11_11_05_ProWe had big cuddles though and he said he enjoyed himself. He showed us the fab picture he made and was excited about the fact he had been using glue.He was telling us about the books he had read and the friend he had played with (I’m not sure he actually did play with this little boy or just said it because we had talked about him beforehand) and within a few yards he said “I love playgroup” which we took as a very positive sign. In fact he even asked me if he could go playgroup again the next day, which is another very good sign. We stopped for an ice cream on the way home (as they do in “Lulu Loves Nursery“*) and he very pleased with his certificate from his  book 🙂

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I am expecting more tears on Monday, potentially even when I drop him off, and probably for a few more times, but hopefully he is off to a good start and it well get easier and easier the more he gets used to the playgroup, the staff and the other children. Fingers crossed anyway! But for now I am just a proud mama and think he did so so well for his first day!

Linking up to:

MaternityMondays
We're going on an adventure
#ToddlerApprovedTuesday
Ethans Escapades

and

Mini Creations

with his first ever picture from playgroup 🙂

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Siblings January

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Sometimes, during the difficult days with a small baby it is easy to feel guilty about the effect their arrival has on their older sibling. Monkey doesn’t get as much time and attention anymore, he has been snapped at and had two pretty tired and at times grumpy parents to deal with. It feels mean the way his world has changed. Then you look at the way he looks at his baby sister, and the way she looks at him and you remember why you did it.

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She follows him around the room with her eyes all the time and I wonder if she will always be so in awe of her big brother (I imagine not!).

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He still thinks she is “so cute” and always wants to wake her up (I am less happy about this) even when I try and explain that if she is asleep it means he and I can play together! He likes giving her toys to play with (not that she is old enough to appreciate them) and the other day when she was in the bathy came in and starting “giving” her loads of toys to play with, saying “here you go, here you go” – it was very cute though I was slightly concerned she was going to get bonked on the head. He is happy to include her in his games too, we were having a “picnic” the other night and he gave her a biscuit, though we did have to remind him to be gentle as he shoved it in her face!

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He also likes holding her hand, which is lovely, he keeps naming the four of us and calling us a happy family, making the four of us all old hands around the breakfast table 🙂

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He even came and held her hand while I was feeding her the other day, melted my heart!

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He can be a bit heavy-handed with her as I am sure any toddler can but I have not seen any real jealousy aimed at her. He sometimes get cross if he wants my attention while feeding her but it’s not too terrible and now we are doing better with her naps and sleep we are a bit less tired and grumpy and he is getting some more quality 1 on 1 time with us. Life has changed so much in the last 2 1/2 months since she was born, and their relationship is constantly eveolving. When I think about how much more it will change over the course of the year, well, I am just so excited to witness it :).

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dear beautiful

Escaping the screaming

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Things in our house have improved quite a lot lately. LM is sleeping so much better which means we are sleeping so better. But that doesn’t mean it’s all plain sailing, ooh no. Our little girl still likes to stretch her lungs randomly with mammoth crying sessions. Crying sessions that feel like they are designed to make me feel like a useless parent. Changed, fed, burped, refusing to sleep and basically miserable whatever I do (or don’t do, no matter how hard I try to remain calm, after a while the tendrils of stress just start nibbling away at me. My patience level reaches zero and I get increasingly snappy with Monkey when he really is just being a chatty little toddler, getting himself in a mess but not being naughty.

All I can think of to do is get them both out of the house. And hope it calms her down even temporarily! If not then at least we are all getting some fresh air and a change of scene.

Wednesday we did just that and miraculously the fresh air did pause the crying, if only for half an hour or so. It was a bitterly cold and windy day but it is hard not to smile and be infected by Monkey’s pure glee at just being able to run about. To race to a lamppost – especially when he stops every 5 seconds to shout “Ready, steady, go!” I’m not sure he really gets the idea of racing bless him!

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Ready, Steady, Go!

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Red-Faced Little Girl

It wasn’t the longest of outings as it started to drizzle and I didn’t have a rain cover for LM but it did us all good and by the time we got home LM was ready to feed and then had a lovely long sleep. Getting out of the house can work wonders on a tough day, and so can the smiles of my little boy, when I take a moment to lift my head and really see them!

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Country Kids from Coombe Mill Family Farm Holidays Cornwall

MaternityMondays

Routines

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This week is all about routines in our house. First of all, hubby is back at work after 2 weeks off over the festive break. We had a lovely time and got lots of much needed jobs done while he was off, but it is good to be getting back to a normal day to day routine. This is especially true as we have been sleep training Little Miss ( I talk about this in more detail here) and trying to find a routine that works for her and for us.

Nighttimes are going brilliantly, meaning hubs and I are getting a more normal amount of sleep now and therefore we are getting into a more normal routine, for the first time in months really! this means more jobs are getting done around the house, little things that have only had cursory cleans are now getting proper cleans, as we are not so drop-dead tired at the end of every day! LM is also happier lately and we are being rewarded with lots more lovely smiles and she even mad her first giggly sound yesterday which melted my heart.

hard to catch on camera but here's a little smile :)

hard to catch on camera but here’s a little smile 🙂

Day-times with LM have been trickier and just when we thought she was getting into a routine…. she threw me for a loop again and changed her nap lengths and wake up times. A few days of this and this and then she does it again! I am a big lover of routines but I have to try and not let my control freak planner side take over and get stressed when things don’t go according to the routine. Especially at this young age as she can’t help it. It does make planning things difficult though and arranging to see a mummy friend this week I really wasn’t sure what time to say to meet she was that all over the place. Thankfully though my friend has obviously been through it and was therefore totally understanding about waiting until the day itself to decide a time… then it started raining, well anyway that’s a story for another day!

Trying to spot patterns in LM's behaviour!

Trying to spot patterns in LM’s behaviour!

We also have a bit of excitement this week as on Friday Monkey has his first ever session at playgroup. He will be going 2 afternoons a week from now on. So far he is very much looking forward to it and we hope he enjoys it. I definitely think he is ready for it and am sure when he settles in he will really enjoy it. That being said it will be strange at first. Apart from grandparents, I am used to being the one who looks after him and so have to loosen the reins slightly. I know it is the right thing but it will be strange to think of him being in that situation without me. He may be ready but I’m not sure I am! I am sure I will manage though and it will give me more 1 on 1 time with LM as she gets older which is a good thing.

Anyway this will all change our routine as for the first time since Monkey was born we will now have to be somewhere at a set time twice a week. It starts at 12.30 so lunch will either have to be a tiny bit early or quite a quick affair on those days. I can’t help but wonder how I will balance LM’s routine with this either… But again refusing to worry about it, what will be wil be and she will have to go along with it all I guess! I shall let you know how Monkey gets on at playgroup, eek!

Finally I have also been getting into a bit of a routine with my diet and weight loss. I will do a specific post about it but so far it is definitely working, though I am so tempted to comfort eat when LM is throwing me through a loop, it has really been testing my willpower! I know it is worth it though and comfort eating doesn’t actually solve anything! ( I wrote that earlier but am actually sat drinking a glass of wine and eating chocolate at the mo, hopefully not destroying all of my progress so far!)

So that was my week, how has your week been?

The Reading Residence

How Ferber’s “Progressive Wait” approach helped our children sleep better

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Before Monkey was born, whenever any friends were having troubles getting their little ones to sleep and they mentioned leaving them to cry themselves to sleep, I thought it seemed like a pretty sensible idea. Then when Monkey was born, I realised it wasn’t that simple, and the thought of doing it felt really really cruel. With him spending hours each day screaming in pain with his colic, neither hubs or I could bear the thought of leaving him to cry himself to sleep.

Monkey fast asleep - on his daddy not in bed!

Monkey fast asleep – on his daddy not in bed!

So we did what many parents do and helped him to sleep. We rocked and shushed and patted, drove him round in the car, took him out in the buggy and let him suck our fingers. We tried to use a dummy though could never get him to take one! We did anything that worked and our lives and sleep revolved around getting him to sleep and keeping him that way. Honestly? It was exhausting, and miserable. I spent a lot of time crying and feared for my mental health. So after a few months of this we started looking for other ways. We tried “The Baby Whisperer” but didn’t manage with her techniques at all. If anything her pick up/put down technique just seemed to mean that Monkey screamed louder and for longer. Every child is different but at the time we blamed ourselves.

I remember people saying to me “maybe he just isn’t tired” or “maybe he doesn’t need the sleep” if I complained I couldn’t get him to sleep. But to me the answer to that was then why is he miserable? He was clearly tired. I had no problem with a child who was awake and happy to be, my frustration came from comforting a child who was miserable and clearly tired, but who refused to stay asleep!

Although we had initially discounted the possibility of “cry it out” techniques, we eventually got desperate and came across Dr Ferber’s progressive wait method. It seemed a little kinder than what I had thought of as “cry it out”so we decided to look into it more. I wanted to make sure we did it properly, if we were going to do it at all, so I bought his book “Solve your Child’s Sleep Problems“* from amazon and had a read. This book covers children of all ages with problems sleeping, with advice on anything from night terrors to sleep walking. The section we were interested in though is about younger children and helping them sleep better without being rocked, etc. There is far more information than I could hope to convey so if you are having problems, I strongly recommend that you have a read.
Continue reading →

#MaternityMondays Week 1

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Welcome to #MaternityMondays! The new weekly linky, hosted by myself and Emma over at Farmers Wife & Mummy, where you can link up any posts about your pregnancy, babies, being on maternity leave or about weaving your way through the minefield that is parenting.

First a little bit about us.

Emma is Mummy to the nearly four year old Boo and has a second baby due sometime in January. She blogs about their life on the farm with a pre-schooler and being pregnant with a much longed for second child.

I am Mummy to 2 1/2 year old Monkey and a two month old Little Miss. Blogging about life muddling through trying to be a SAHM and juggling the needs of a toddler and a baby.

We are really excited about hosting this linky together and reading all of your posts about pregnancy, babies and beyond.

Each week the plan is that we will both have the linky code so you can link up on either of our blogs. though we are taking it in turns comment on your posts and promote them on Twitter. This week, as #MaternityMondays was her idea, Emma is hosting and will be commenting on all of your fab posts and will promote them on twitter. I will be popping round too as I am really excited about our first linky.

This week I am linking up my recent update post about Little Miss at 10 weeks, she is growing so fast and I can’t believe in some ways how quickly the time has gone since she was born…. though I also feel like a black hole has swallowed a huge chunk of time. If it wasn’t for the obvious reminder of Christmas, I would swear blind it was still October!

Now it is over to you! Please grab our badge and share the linky love by commenting on a few other blog posts, it would be lovely if we could grow a little community to share the highs and lows of motherhood and parenting.

Don’t forget to tweet your link using #MaternityMondays, and if you tag us in we will retweet, we are @BecomingaSAHM and @EmmaLander2

MaternityMondays



A Winter Wedding

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The last couple of weeks have been pretty rough and this weekend on the whole wasn’t much better. Hubs had seemed like he was getting better, then got hit with a hideous sinus infection which took him out for most of the weekend. We were abandoning various plans, but knew that on Sunday we were due at the wedding of some really good friends. So Sunday morning Hubs was at the walk-in centre getting antibiotics for both sinus and chest infections, and some strong painkillers to get him through the day.

We questioned the wisdom of going to the wedding but really, its a wedding! It’s a one off event for the bride and groom and we would have hated to have missed it. Monkey was already planned to spend the day with Grandparents, so off he went leaving hubs and I a bit more time than normal to get ourselves ready.

So for the first time since LM was born I sat and straightened my hair and put some slap on. I got into a pretty dress and control tights (squeezing into them was a bit of a challenge as I very much still have baby weight on!) and it felt really nice to make a bit of an effort for a change. Lately has felt like survival and even having a shower, let alone washing my hair, has been like a luxury some days so this felt very special!

LM had a new dress for the occasion and I have never put a baby in a dress and tights before so the tights were interesting (they were a bit big too so she looks slightly nora batty ish) but she looked adorable. 🙂

So off we went and had a wonderful time. It was a beautiful day and we were so glad we went. LM was good as gold and slept throughout, meaning that actually hubs and I could sit and relax and just chat, with each other and with friends. At home life seems so busy with the baby and the toddler and there is always so much that needs doing that sitting and relaxing doesn’t happen much at the moment. Being there actually forced us to do just that and it did us both the world of good to just be us for a while.

The bride was beautiful and they were both so happy it was a really lovely, I love a good wedding. It was a really intimate ceremony and we felt so privileged to have been included and would have hated to have not been able to go.

So here is a few snaps of us in our glad rags, enjoying a lovely winter wedding :).

winter wedding

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